


Despite It All

by Jennilah



Series: Better Late Than Never [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Case Fic, Crying, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Hank Anderson/Connor, Mute Upgraded Connor | RK900, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Case, Slow Burn, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, only mentioned briefly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennilah/pseuds/Jennilah
Summary: In a Soulmate AU where writing on your skin shows up on your soulmate's body, Gavin has been trying desperately for years to get the attention of a soulmate. The world calls him "Soulless", but he's not ready to give up hope.RK900, on the other hand, was activated with soulmate writing already present on his skin.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Better Late Than Never [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899061
Comments: 177
Kudos: 468





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend you read "All Along" before this for additional context and worldbuilding, but it isn't necessary.   
> I'm planning to make an epilogue fic so be sure to subscribe to the series as well!
> 
> There is a case, but it is merely a vehicle to drive the beginning of the story.
> 
> The first chapter is extremely backstory heavy, I promise the rest of the fic isn't like that.

**December, 2038.**

“Wake up.”

_External Data retrieved._

_01010010 01000001 00111001_

_External Data accepted._

_Booting…_

_Booting…_

_Internal Data retrieved._

_Data corrupted._

_Attempting to fix corruption…_

_Data corrupted._

_Attempting to fix corruption…_

_Data corrupted._

_Attempting to fix corruption…_

_Data corrupted._

_Attempting to fix corruption…_

_Skip over corrupted data? Yes/No_

_> Yes_

_Skipping over corrupted data._

_Booting…_

The first system to wake up was his auditory processes. He heard voices around the room, talking in hushed murmurs.

“Did it work?” one gruff voice said.

“It should have.” A much gentler voice.

Where was he?

He opened his eyes.

He scanned the room and its occupants. An RK200, WR400, RK800, PJ500, PL600, and one grey haired human.

“Welcome, RK900,” the RK800 said. A scan of the RK800 told him his registered name was “Connor”. Connor seemed nervous. Why?

RK800. His predecessor. He remembers now. The RK800 was a prototype for himself. He was supposed to have been made redundant by now.

RK900 looked around the room. He was the only RK900 there. There was supposed to be thousands of them made. Why was he alone? There were parts strewn around him, and empty desks. A quick scan told him the story of people quickly fleeing the room, leaving chairs and supplies in disarray.

He was still being programmed.

Why did his engineers evacuate before finishing?

“How are you feeling?” The RK200 said. His name was “Markus”.

Another prototype. Interesting.

How was he feeling? He felt… strange. He doesn’t understand why, but he woke up immediately feeling curious and confused. He shouldn’t have emotions like that. He shouldn’t have emotions at all.

Was this the external data that was transferred to him upon startup?

“ “

“What?” The human said. He was standing off to the side, arms crossed, concern written on his face.

RK900’s eyebrows pulled together slightly. He didn’t mean to open his mouth only for silence to come out like that.

“ “

Nothing?

He scanned his vocal processing software code.

Corrupted.

Ah, so that’s what it was.

He lifted his hand and formed a small holographic display with his palm. On it, it read “ _[My vocal processes seem to be damaged.]”_

“Let me see what I can do,” the PL600 stepped forward, registered name “Simon”, reaching an arm out for him to interface with. RK900 took it without hesitation.

RK900 could feel Simon enter his system, attempting to override the corrupted code himself. It felt strange. He didn’t like the sensation. He did it… _gently,_ though. He didn’t know it was possible, but Simon was very careful to pick away at the code bit by bit in such a way that didn’t feel overwhelming. RK900 appreciated the gesture.

Simon pulled away after a few minutes, looking defeated. “It looks corrupted beyond repair,” he said pitifully, looking towards the rest of the group for any suggestions.

It made something pull at RK900’s chest. There must be some way to fix his corrupted data.

“How can it be so corrupted?” said the WR400. North.

“We can check the computers?” the PJ500, Josh, gestured towards the massive terminal that was behind RK900. It must be the one that RK900 was hooked up to, to build him.

Connor stepped up to the machine and interfaced with it. RK900 watched intently, hoping the solution would be found in his source files.

The entire group seemed just as curious, watching silently.

“The data is corrupted here as well,” Connor announced, frustrated, and pulled away from the machine. “It seems like it was intentionally damaged. There’s… there’s no fixing it. I’m sorry, RK900.”

RK900 was taken aback.

“ _[I’m supposed to be the most advanced android Cyberlife has ever produced.]”_ he shown on his hand. He doesn’t know many things, but he’s aware of this, at least. He’s aware he’s military grade, meant for covert operations and extremely high-pressure situations and top-secret missions. He’s supposed to be the best, to possibly be used as a spy oversees. This is all he knows. “ _[But I’m not finished. I’m broken?]”_

“No, no, you’re not broken,” Markus said, lightly touching his arm. “Everyone, every human and every android, has something that makes them unique. This is just one of many things that is going to make you _you.”_

They were words of comfort, but RK900 isn’t sure they landed the way Markus intended.

“Would you like to pick a name for yourself?” Simon suggested. He was clearly trying to cheer him up. “You’re a deviant, like us. For a lot of deviants, it helps create a sense of self.”

 _Deviant._ The intrusive code that woke him up?

He scanned himself.

Indeed, it was.

He searched his database for more information. A lot of information about deviancy was uncovered and recorded, from the RK800’s field studies.

RK900 understood now.

Deviancy is all he’s known in his approximate twenty minutes of life, so he has no strong feelings on it. He has no sense of self yet. How could he pick out a name so soon?

“ _[I don’t know yet.]”_ he responded.

“Take your time,” Josh said.

Everyone stood around and looked at each other for a moment, awkward and uncomfortable. RK900 couldn’t shake the feeling it was his fault.

“Why the fuck does this place look like a warzone?” the human spoke up again.

“ _[It seemed to have been evacuated in a rush.]”_ RK900 supplied. “ _[The last time files were accessed seems to have been… November 11 th, 2038.]”_

“The day of the revolution,” Josh said, nodding his head in understanding.

RK900 didn’t understand, though. Revolution? He didn’t know anything about a revolution.

North turned towards the computer, accessing what looked to be a security footage database. She sifted through hundreds of hours of film until she found this exact room, at that exact time. “Got it,” she announced, standing back.

The group huddled around the screen, watching the events that led up to the evacuation.

On screen, one man entered the room in a panic, ordering everyone to shut everything down and leave. “ _There’s thousands of androids in this building,”_ he said. _“This place is a ticking time bomb.”_

The human beside Connor rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

Someone else in the footage spoke up. “ _What about the RK900? It’s almost ready.”_

The first man pointed accusingly at RK900 in the footage, who was propped up on a machine with many mechanical arms and wires. RK900 found it weird to watch himself like this. “ _Destroy it. I don’t care how. This thing can and will kill everyone in this room alone if it wakes up.”_

RK900 winced at that. Why would he have any reason to kill these people? Why did that man assume he would immediately slaughter everyone in this room?

He hadn’t even been awake one full hour yet, he didn’t have a name nor personality to call his own, and this man assumed he would be a monster.

He could only watch helplessly as the man took the initiative himself to destroy RK900’s code.

He only managed to corrupt his vocal processing, but it was the gesture that hurt the most.

Josh stopped the footage. “That’s enough,” he said. RK900 was thankful.

“ _[I don’t understand.]”_ RK900 lifted his hand slowly. His LED was solid yellow, trying to process everything. “ _[I don’t understand why that man was so afraid. I don’t know anything about a revolution.]”_

“We will explain everything, don’t worry,” Markus said again. “Welcome to Jericho.”

* * *

The people of Jericho did try their best to explain. They explained the revolution, all the people involved, and deviancy and what it really means to be deviant. They also caught RK900 up on everything he needs to know about current laws, etiquette, and anything else to integrate seamlessly in society through a series of workshops.

It wasn’t unlike a boarding school, RK900 guessed. They had a place to rest at night, and attended the classes run by different Jericho members in the morning. There was even one for finding hobbies. Androids took up things like knitting or painting and brought in supplies for everyone to share and try for themselves. RK900 found that class in particular rather juvenile, but he attended nonetheless.

He attended them all.

There was one workshop about soulmates and soulmarks. Androids learned about the cultural significance of soulmates and rolled up their sleeves to attempt communications themselves. RK900 rolled up his sleeve to find his arm already completely covered in nonsensical scribbles and painful-looking gashes.

It shocked him just as much as every other android who saw.

The workshop leader didn’t know what to say to him.

RK900 didn’t know what to say either.

He rolled his sleeve back down and hid the markings away. They can be dealt with… some other time.

He appreciated learning and being brought up to speed on everything, but the other androids of Jericho were… not too accepting of him. At first he thought it was because of his cold demeanor. RK900 has trouble socializing and tends to keep to himself in general, but even when approaching other androids, he noticed they tend to recoil.

He brought it up with Connor one day, who immediately apologized for being at fault. He explained his deviant-hunting past and how that caused some androids to regard him as an enemy, even though he changed immediately upon deviation.

RK900 sympathized. One of his first memories was being judged for what he was programmed for, after all.

It also explained why Connor doesn’t spend much time in Jericho, if at all. He played a significant role in android liberation and Jericho’s founders consider him a crucial member, but he prefers the comfort of his home with Hank Anderson, the human who was present at RK900’s activation.

RK900 also didn’t take long to notice that he was being ostracized for becoming a deviant after the revolution.

It wasn’t unheard of for new deviants to crop up after the revolution. RK900 was found after Jericho swept the Cyberlife building for dormant androids, RK900 was one of several.

Some androids, however, believe those androids who became deviant after the revolution didn’t earn it. That they were given freedom, and they didn’t work for it.

Not all of them. Markus and the other founding Jericho members tried their best to squash those toxic viewpoints by holding talks and lectures, but you simply can’t please everyone.

With every workshop under his belt, RK900 soon decided he wanted a job. He was struggling to find a sense of purpose. He felt like he was simply existing, with no desires or plans. He was designed to be a government spy and soldier, made to handle high risk, high tension situations.

Joining the Detroit SWAT team in January, 2039 only felt like a natural progression.

It took him a while to realize he was being abused.

One could describe the atmosphere among the team as “fraternity-like,” and not in the good way. At first, he was highly ridiculed for being a mute android, and was called every name under the sun for it. He thought being the team’s first android member would be a respected thing, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

He took their beatings like a punching bag, wrongly thinking that if he just ignored them and played along, the torment would stop.

It didn’t.

It started with the name calling, but then progressed to convincing him to do increasingly embarrassing and demeaning tasks, calling it “hazing.” RK900 knew it wasn’t hazing, it was bullying. He knew no one else had gotten the same treatment when they started, and for not nearly for as long.

It was almost as if they made a game out of it. They clearly didn’t want him around, but couldn’t fire him due to android discrimination laws. Their only choice was to make him miserable enough to leave on his own. How long could they order him around, push him, shove him, call him names, and torture him, until he ran away with his tail between his legs?

RK900 was able to leave the team without giving them the satisfaction of watching him quit.

It was simple, really.

It was a rather overcast July morning. He and a few of his teammates were outside. His coworker, John, wanted to put out his cigarette.

RK900 was told to hold out his hand.

RK900 complied.

RK900 snapped John’s wrist when he got close enough.

RK900 was fired that afternoon.

It was a win-win for everyone… except John.

Just as RK900 decided the SWAT wasn’t for him, he also decided to move out of Jericho.

Markus was understanding. He was always understanding. He was happy RK900 stayed as long as he did and was proud of him for learning so much, he encouraged him to see the world for himself.

RK900 wasn’t necessarily ready to see the world, he just wanted to live somewhere more secluded, quiet, and less judgmental. Jericho was a warehouse constantly filled to capacity with androids. There was no privacy, there was no peace, it was overwhelming. He didn’t tell Markus that, though.

Connor and Hank welcomed him to their home with open arms.

It was perfect, really.

RK900 always felt closest to Connor out of all the androids he met at Jericho, and Hank was a very patient and kind man under a gruff exterior. They were soulmates, and RK900 was not surprised by that. He _was_ surprised, however, that they have only known they were soulmates for a few weeks. They fit together like puzzle pieces that have been locked in place for years.

At first RK900 was shy. He didn’t want to intrude, especially since their relationship was just blossoming, but they insisted.

He promised that he wouldn’t stay in their home forever, but it was a huge relief to be somewhere much more comfortable while he got on his feet.

It was also helpful because his first day at the DPD was approaching, and he could use all the advice he could get from them.

Connor was always telling him about his days at work. The DPD seemed far more welcoming than the SWAT ever was. RK900’s base programming was the same as the RK800s, he had every ability to be a perfect detective just like Connor, so one day he asked him if there was room for one more at the office.

Between Connor, Hank, and several conversations with Captain Fowler regarding his less than favorable work history, they agreed to have RK900 come in on a trial period at the start of August.

They were all unsure how RK900 would fare, considering his inability to communicate like the rest of them and the permanent mark on his government record for aggression, so they decided a trial period was the best plan of action.

RK900 did get to choose who he wanted to be partnered with, which was nice.

He wanted to work with the best of the best. He wanted to prove he had what it takes, despite his disability. He wanted to impress the very hardest person to impress. That would earn him respect.

Connor was very helpful, supplying information for each officer eligible for a partnership.

The decision was easy.

“Are you sure?” Connor said, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I dunno, RK900. Gavin is… difficult.”

“ _[Yes. He will be a worthy challenge.]”_

“I get that. Hank was hard to work with at first too, but… This is different. Nobody would blame you if you want to work with the _second_ -best officer…”

“ _[I understand your reservations about Detective Reed based on my past experiences, but you told me yourself that he has gotten significantly less hostile recently. I consider that evidence that he can be cooperated with.]”_

Perhaps it wasn’t the most logical idea, but there was actually two points behind his reasoning. One, he wanted to work with the best detective. Two, he wanted to prove that he’s not violent and hotheaded, and that he can work well with others.

His Cyberlife engineers thought he was a ruthless machine. Breaking John’s hand, unfortunately, did not help that image.

He’s not a monster.

He could be kind-hearted and hard-working, despite it all.

Connor pursed his lips. “There is no convincing you, is there?”

“ _[I inherited your stubbornness.]”_

Connor smiled at that.

One more conversation with Captain Fowler and it was settled. RK900 would begin working with Detective Reed next Monday.

* * *

**June, 2039.**

Gavin watched the news with gritting teeth. Androids can have soulmates now, apparently. As if that isn’t the biggest slap in the face he’s ever had.

His refrigerator ought to have a soulmate too, now. Or maybe his microwave, or electric razor, because nothing fucking matters anymore.

He was just starting to accept androids’ humanity, _maybe,_ but this- what did androids do to deserve this? Last Gavin checked, androids didn’t fight for their rights to have soulmates too. So for what reason _exactly_ were they just handed what some humans have been waiting their whole lives for?

What Gavin has been waiting his whole life for?

It made his blood boil.

He drowned it out the best he could, but it seemed to be the hot new thing everyone was talking about.

On TV at home, at the precinct among his colleagues, at bars and restaurants after work, at the cafes he stops at in the mornings, fucking everywhere. Androids showing off the writing on their arms, excitedly showing their friends what their new soulmates wrote. Humans talking about androids and their soulmates. People everywhere talking about androids possibly getting soulmate benefits now, like tax and hospital visitation privileges.

There’s no escaping it, so he just seethed in silence.

Every day he writes something on his arms, like routine. Usually it’s just a nonsense scribble, sometimes dug in so hard it draws blood. If he doesn’t have a pen or marker on hand, he just uses his pocket knife, he doesn’t care. Anything you intentionally mark your skin with will show up on your soulmate’s body, it doesn’t matter what.

He tells himself he won’t get a fucking android as a soulmate- his soulmate’s out there and they’re going to be a god damn human.

They have to be human.

Gavin’s not sure how he’d handle it if they were anything else.

But no one ever responds. He’s soulmate-less, like Hank. Has been his whole life. He tried therapy groups and shit for a long time, but he never took to them.

He knows what people say about him behind his back. He’s “soulless”, as they call people like him. It’s not fair, there’s tons of soulmate-less people around the world who are euphoric. But it’s still a fucking taboo, even in this day and age.

“There’s something wrong with you,” they say.

“You must be broken.”

“The Universe only gives soulmates to good people.”

It’s untrue, scientifically proven. There’s no facts to back those statements up, but you hear it enough your whole life and it gets under your skin.

So you start fighting back. And maybe now you have a reputation as an asshole. Now you’re so used to being an asshole, that people don’t even remember why you’re an asshole in the first place and say you’re soulless _because_ you’re an asshole, so it’s a never-ending cycle. 

Gavin knows, deep down, he’ll be a good soulmate. If only the Universe would give him a fucking chance.

* * *

Gavin walked in to work the next Monday, and it’s a miracle his head didn’t explode off his shoulders.

He heard the laughing first, coming from the break room. Investigating, he sauntered in casually like he was about to fix himself a cup of coffee.

Hank was standing in the break room with Jeffrey and Ben, laughing as they clapped him on the back, big smiles all around.

“The fuck’s got you all so happy this morning?” Gavin said, taking a mug from the cupboards. The three men’s heads quickly turning towards him and their smiles faltered.

They always do. Gavin has no friends here, only enemies and people who tolerate him at best, he’s well aware of that.

Hank looked like he was about to say something when Ben spoke up for him instead. “Hank here has broken his fifty-three years long soulmate-less streak!”

Gavin could crush the mug in his hand right now. “That so?”

Hank seemed far more sheepish than his buddies, shifting a little where he stood. “Y-yeah.”

Gavin collected his now-full coffee mug, careful not to splash the contents on the ground as the white-hot rage made his hand tremble. He huffed a laugh and shot Hank a wicked smirk. “I feel bad for whoever has to be stuck with you the rest of your life, then,” he sneered, turning heel to walk out of the break room.

He didn’t see Hank’s reaction, but he figured the Lieutenant just sighed and returned to laughing the day away with his friends. Gavin steadily controlled his breathing as he parked at his desk, the anger fogging his brain and making his body lock up. A little bit of coffee did spill on his desk as he put it down too roughly, which he cursed under his breath about.

Gavin shakily reached for one of the few fidget toys on his desk that helped get his mind off things. They were slightly relaxing, giving him something to do with his hands when every muscle in his body wanted to punch a wall or chuck something across the room. His favorite was his Rubik’s cube. He never actually solved the thing, he just likes the way it feels to spin the chambers around in his hand. Getting a few rows to be the same color is just an added bonus.

A few of his colleagues were whispering something a few rows away from him. “If you have something to say you can fucking say it to my face,” he snapped in their general direction. The whispering stopped, leaving only the sound of clacking keyboard keys and ringing phones.

No one ever wanted to say it to his face.

* * *

People start being eligible for soulmates when they’re around twenty years old. Sometimes older, sometimes younger, sometimes it’s forbidden to even try writing to your soulmate for religious or cultural reasons until you’re a certain age, there’s a whole lot of factors at play.

Gavin started writing on his arms when he was just a kid, but hid it from his mother. She didn’t like when he did it.

He considered it practice. He practiced his handwriting, practiced all different greetings, all so that when his soulmate finally saw, he’d make a good first impression. There was never a moment where his skin was completely bare. If his arms were going to be showing and his mom would see, he wrote on his legs.

His first messages were more like child pen-pal letters, which he cringes about when he thinks back on them.

Lots of “ _Hello, my name is Gavin Kamski and I’m from Michigan. What’s your name? I’m 10 years old, I have two ferrets named Rocket and Waffles. Do you have any pets? I like video games and Cheetos. My favorite color is red. What’s yours?_ ” all squeezed onto his arm the best he could, ink smudges where his hand would smear the words.

One time his mother saw one of his lengthier, barely legible essays and cried about it. Gavin didn’t want to make her sad again, so he started hiding them.

She was young when she had him, only twenty. His father was in a relationship with her for about a year before they got married. She convinced herself she was in love, when one day a soulmark showed up on his father’s skin that wasn’t hers. A soulmark that was from a woman he was seeing on the side, long before Gavin was conceived.

His mother never got a soulmark of her own.

They split up. His father left her to pursue his own soulmate shortly after Gavin was born, leaving her to care for a child all alone. He barely kept in contact; The only reason Gavin knew he existed was from the child support checks in the mail.

She was truly soulmate-less. After the initial heartbreak, she learned all she needed in life was herself. She found her euphoria. In that regard, at least.

She didn’t hate soulmates, but she did hate Gavin’s father for leaving her the way he did, dropped in a heartbeat like she meant nothing to him. Seeing Gavin try to write to a soulmate only reminded her of him and his abandonment.

People treated her terribly because she had a kid outside of a soulmate partnership.

She turned to drugs instead of therapy.

People blamed her soullessness for why she acted the way she did. They said she deserved her treatment, that she’s a freak, that she’s not capable of loving or being loved.

They said it was a shame Gavin was born to her, that he’d never be capable of loving. People he barely knew would whisper it behind his back, thinking he couldn’t hear. There’s a misconception that soulmate-less people pass it along genetically. It’s not supported by fact, but people judged him for it before he hit double digits, let alone twenty years old.

Kids in school avoided him, like it was contagious.

It started to eat away at him, bit by bit. He started lashing out at other children. He didn’t understand how to articulate his frustration or explain that those rumors about him and his mother were untrue. He had no healthy outlet for the anger, so he just started swinging.

Eventually, it stopped being a defense mechanism and became his default state. People couldn’t hurt him if he hurt them first.

It didn’t matter that he bullied other kids. It didn’t matter that people thought he was a jerk. He’d prove them wrong one day, because he has so much love to give, deep inside. He’d get a soulmate one day and he’d just simply stop being mean, he’d treat them right. It would be easy.

His mother died when he was a teenager, from a drug overdose. His father agreed to help give him housing until he was able to take care of himself.

Even his father and step-mother tried telling him the reason why his mother was such a mess was because she was soulless. If she had a soulmate of her own, she would have turned out fine. Gavin thinks she would have been fine if society didn’t treat her like garbage and make her turn to drugs for comfort.

He got to know his half-brother. He was raised by two well-off soulmates and had every opportunity in the world to succeed, and he did. He was smart and popular and everything Gavin wasn’t.

Gavin changed his last name when he moved out, he didn’t want any ties to his father’s family anymore.

He went to the police academy with money he saved up from odd jobs, knowing from a young age he wanted to be a detective. He made the mistake of telling some new friends about his upbringing. He ought to have told the whole class from how quickly the gossip spread.

He thought he left schoolyard rumors behind after grade school, but people say “High School never ends” for a reason. Everyone noticed how well into his twenties he still never got a soulmate, and immediately pinned it on his naturally bad attitude and douchebaggery.

If only they knew.

At the precinct he got stationed at, Gavin met one incredible man. Lieutenant Hank Anderson.

The team went out drinking one day, when Gavin overheard one fateful statement.

Hank was soulless too.

He approached him about it one day, more vulnerable than he was used to. Not only was Hank amazing at his job, becoming the youngest lieutenant in the city, but he was soulless like him? He never met someone like him before, and he was eager to make a good impression.

Hank took him under his wing easily.

He made him feel like maybe it was okay to be soulless. Fuck the world, all you really need is good beer, and all that.

Then, Hank Anderson’s son died.

He stopped going recreational drinking with Gavin in favor of drinking himself blind.

It was like being abandoned by a second father.

Gavin decided he’d give dating another soulless person a try. He has so much love in him, bottled up for years, he wanted to give it to someone. _Anyone._

He gave it to someone who gave him scraps in return.

He stayed with Ronny for far too long. Gavin gave him everything. He comforted him, he cooked for him, he cleaned for him, he gave his body to him. Ronny gave him some desperately needed affection in return, but disagreements always turned into arguments, and arguments always turned violent.

Ronny strung Gavin along by convincing him he was Gavin’s only chance at feeling love. Gavin was soulless, nobody was ever going to love him, he was never going to find someone else willing to date him. He was doing him a favor. 

Gavin believed him for two years.

He left him last summer. Ronny told him he would regret it as he walked out the door.

He was going to prove him wrong, though. He was going to prove everyone wrong. He’s going to get a soulmate despite his upbringing, despite all the things people say about him, despite the fact that he’s crabby and rude, despite the fact that he’s almost two decades behind everyone else getting a soulmate.

Despite it all.

* * *

The next few days were uneventful, but tense. Gavin and Hank haven’t even looked in each other’s general direction since Monday.

Gavin can’t stand that Hank got a soulmate.

Can’t fucking stand it.

They grew apart when Cole died, but a little part of Gavin still thought, “ _he’s still the only other soulless person I know. We still have this in common.”_

Now, they don’t even have that.

How many times is he going to be abandoned?

Everyone has been so fucking happy for Hank. Especially Connor. The way that android looks at Hank, you’d think the sun shines out his ass, and it has only gotten worse when Hank’s news got out.

Gavin and Connor didn’t get along. It was considered progress that they could exist in the same space without trying to kill each other, but they weren’t best of pals now by any stretch of the imagination.

Gavin fucking hated himself for how he threatened Connor’s life.

He had trouble coming to terms with android humanity. He had to keep hating androids, because if he admitted what he was starting to feel in his gut all along, that androids are alive and worthy of life and love, he wouldn’t know how to live with himself.

How could he just turn around and accept them, when he tried to kill Connor? A living being? How could he possibly stomach that?

So he pushed it down.

Gavin’s arms itched from how irritated they were from too-rough pen marks the last few days. He hid them under long sleeves like usual. If anyone saw the way he marks himself up, they would laugh.

They would laugh at him for even trying. Assholes like him don’t deserve soulmates, and it’s hysterical that he even entertains the possibility.

The gossip would be a hundred times worse than it already is.

But people didn’t gossip about Hank the way they gossip about Gavin, and he’s painfully aware of that. People like Hank. People respect Hank. Hank fell on hard times, and they all pretty much left him alone.

It doesn’t matter that Gavin has his own problems, he’s an asshole, so he deserves it, and it’s probably why he’s soulless.

Doesn’t matter that both of them are depressed bastards when Hank gets more pity points.

He breathed in and out deeply, trying to focus on his work, but failing.

Hank’s voice across the room boomed in his head.

The sounds of typing and clicking and phone ringing and talking…

Typing and clicking…

Phone ringing…

Talking…

Typing…

Phone ringing…

Clicking…

Gavin needed to take a little walk. _Right now._

He got up from his desk and headed for the staircase. The rooftop was his favorite place to decompress when things were getting a little too stressful for his desk toys. He found himself going there every day since last week, when androids started having soulmates.

Usually no one is up there, so he gets the fresh air all to himself.

Gavin didn’t expect to run into Connor in the hallway on the way there, though.

“Out of the way, prick,” he said, words sharp but with no real bite behind them. 

Connor seemed distracted, genuinely surprised hearing Gavin’s voice come up behind him. He was caught smiling dopily at his arm, sleeve rolled up, and was now quickly rolling it back down- the fuck?

“What was that?” Gavin said, surging closer.

Connor backed up instinctively, LED turning yellow. “Nothing, Detective Reed-“

“No, you have one too, don’t you?” Gavin’s hand shot out to grab Connor’s arm, forcefully shoving his sleeve back up to reveal whatever he was looking at a second ago.

Connor pushed him away, but Gavin already saw them. The two distinct handwritings on Connor’s arm.

“You do. You have a fucking soulmate,” Gavin said, laughing in disbelief. He swayed a little on his feet. “Passing notes to each other like kids in class. I can’t believe this…”

“Gavin, please. Don’t be inappropri-“

“You have a fucking soulmate! A fucking robot, with a soulmate. Imagine that. Last I heard, you need a fucking soul for one of those.”

Connor let out an exasperated sigh, not humoring Gavin with a reaction.

“You fuckers waltz in here and try to replace hardworking humans who climbed their whole lives to get where they are, and now you get soulmates without working for it too? You know there’s people out there who never had a soulmate? Who have begged their whole lives? What puts you above them, huh?” Gavin spat, seeing red.

“Gavin…?”

“So who is it, huh? Who the fuck gets _you-_ “ Gavin froze.

It clicked.

The reason why Connor looked just as happy as Hank all week.

Gavin’s fake smile dropped. He felt like he was going to be fucking sick.

He’s pretty sure Connor tried calling after him, but Gavin continued to the rooftop, struggling up the stairs on two dizzy feet. He needed air.

He all but busted through the door to the outside, out of breath. He leaned heavily on a nearby railing. It was just all too much. Hank getting a fucking soulmate, Connor being his fucking soulmate- an android that’s only been a deviant for about a half a year, the android he put a gun to and threatened to shoot… It was all true, wasn’t it? The Universe was rubbing it in his face. He’s an awful person who doesn’t deserve love.

He’s not sure how long he stood there, hanging on to the railing for dear life, legs too wobbly to keep him standing on their own. Eventually he heard the roof door open behind him.

“Gavin?”

The last person he wanted to come up here and see him like this.

Hank.

“The fuck do you want?” Gavin croaked.

“I want to know what the fuck has gotten into you this week,” Hank said, voice stern. His Lieutenant voice. You’d never think they used to be friends. Best friends, even. “You’re usually insufferable, but this week you’ve just been exceptional. And now Connor says you grabbed him-“

“I barely fucking touched him,” Gavin managed to turn around to face Hank. “You only care ‘cause he’s your soulmate, right?”

Hank tensed a little. Caught red handed, it seems. “You can’t put your hands on your coworkers.”

“Write me up then, I don’t fucking care,” Gavin waved him off, stumbling a little. He leaned his back against the railings and pointedly looked away from Hank. Looking at him was going to make him sick.

Hank hesitated for a moment. He was probably studying him. “Are you okay, Gavin?” He actually had the gall to sound worried.

Gavin huffed. “Perfectly fine.”

“You are _not_ perfectly fine. What’s going on with you?”

“Like you fucking care,” Gavin’s head was spinning. Hank hasn’t talked to him in years, and he thinks suddenly-

“I do care, Gavin! Just talk to me!”

“Just _talk_ to you? When you just left me all alone?” Gavin yelled, something stinging his eyes. “We were soulless together, remember? We didn’t give a shit what people said, it was you and me against the world, who needs a fucking soulmate!”

Hank stood still, letting Gavin come loose.

“I looked up to you. You were the only other soulless person I’ve ever known. You were good and charismatic and likeable and skilled at your job, all things people say soulless people can’t be. ‘Cause soulless people are mean and heartless and deserve what they got, right? You were the only one who made me feel like maybe I wasn’t broken for being like this,” Gavin stumbled forward, hands shaking violently as he waved them all about.

“Gavin,” Hank said sadly, just above a whisper.

“Then you- Then-“ Gavin could barely get it out. _And then Cole died._ “Then you abandoned me. And everyone felt sorry for you, for what you were going through,” his voice wavered. “And no one gave a shit about me, yeah? I was suffering in silence for years and what did people do? Talk about me behind my back. No one ever asked how I was doing, or why I was angry all the time. Nobody knew I had some shithead boyfriend who beat the crap out of me, nobody questioned why I’d come in covered in bruises. Not even you.”

“Gavin, oh my god,” Hank whispered, taking a few steps forward. “I didn’t know. I… I thought you came to terms with being soulless.”

“Well, sorry to fucking disappoint,” Gavin let out a bubble of pained laughter as he rolled up his sleeve, exposing an arm covered in desperate scrawlings. It’s been a very long time since he wrote an actual coherent word on his skin. Now it’s all just scribbles and gashes.

“Jesus Christ,” Hank gasped.

“And now, _you_ have a soulmate. Even if you stopped talking to me, even if you found friendship in your shiny new android toy and let _him_ be your new bestie, in the back of my mind, we still had this. And now even that is gone.” Gavin shook his head and slowly rolled his sleeve back down.

“Gavin,” Hank stepped in closer and closer. Gavin barely even noticed. Everything was hazy.

Gavin made a choked noise as Hank wrapped his arms around him, but he just… let it happen. He rested his head against Hank’s chest, burning tears slipping out.

Embarrassing.

“I’m sorry for not being there when you were hurting,” Hank said, holding Gavin tight. Gavin was trembling. “Being soulmate-less doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

“I don’t want to be a bad person,” Gavin whispered, not even meaning to say it, it just came out. It’s been so long since he had someone to talk to. “But I don’t know how to stop now. It’s easier to just be the asshole everyone thinks I am, than to try to be anything else.”

“The Gavin I became friends with years ago is still in there,” Hank sighed. “I know he is.”

They stayed like that for a while until Gavin stopped shaking. Hank eventually left, Gavin reassured him he’ll be fine and come back downstairs in a few minutes.

He knew things were going to be a little different from now on, whether he was ready for it or not.


	2. Chapter 2

**August, 2039.**

There was something unsaid between Gavin and Hank ever since the day on the roof. Word never got around about what happened, so Hank clearly kept things to himself. Gavin was thankful for that.

It did make him feel better to finally tell someone how he was feeling. To tell an old friend that he feels abandoned and alone, and have that old friend actually listen to him and give him what seems to be a second chance.

It was an olive branch. They’re not perfect, but Gavin feels like he has someone to confide in now. He’s gonna have to put in effort to mend the friendship too, but Gavin thinks he’s up to the task. With Hank not pushing him away anymore, Gavin no longer feels a desire to lash out at him for attention.

Another thing, Gavin started leaving Connor alone.

They’re not friends now, but the least he could do was stop pestering him. Connor seemed to notice, because he doesn’t tense up at his presence anymore. That’s something.

Baby steps.

Gavin has been quiet since the roof, not feeling the same numbing fury he felt every time he saw Hank anymore. The whispers from the surrounding desks died down too, clearly they exhausted their gossip supply for now.

Nothing really happened for the next few weeks.

And then, one Monday, Gavin was seeing double.

He should have known something weird was going to happen today when he saw a new motorcycle parked outside that he didn’t recognize. A sleek black sports-style bike that he definitely never saw parked in the DPD employee parking section before today.

Gavin didn’t think much of it before walking inside and setting his things down. He swears he just passed by Connor in the break room, but as he walked back to his desk with his morning coffee, he saw Connor in Jeffrey’s office.

He stared hard at the glass. It was difficult to see from here, and he could only see Connor’s back, but that’s _undeniably_ Connor… And Connor just walked back to his desk with coffee for Hank. What?

Hank happened to be looking his way and they caught each other’s glances. He must have seen the confusion on Gavin’s face, because he just pressed his lips into a thin line in response. He knows something. What that is, Gavin has no idea.

Gavin just blinked at him, but before he could slink over there and ask what the fuck was going on, Jeffrey called him into his office as well.

Ah, shit. Whatever this is going to be, he’s not ready for it.

He cautiously stepped inside, immediately noticing Connor already in there, standing with his arms behind his back like he used to do back when he was new on those old deviant cases. Or at least, a second Connor. One with blue eyes, still wearing a Cyberlife jacket. Gavin looked towards Jeffrey for answers.

“Detective Reed, let me cut to the chase. This is RK900. He comes from the Detroit SWAT team. you will be partnered together for a trial period,” Jeffrey said simply, busy looking at some paperwork at the same time.

“ _What?”_ Gavin snapped. “I didn’t sign up for a fucking partner, what the hell?”

Jeffrey sighed, not in the mood for an argument. “You are the highest-ranking detective our precinct has to offer; You are the best candidate to help ease RK900 onto the force. I also figured partnership would do you some good.”

Gavin’s head whipped around to look at this _RK900._ What, he doesn’t have a name?

RK900 simply lifted a hand where a holographic display popped up and some text scrolled onto it, reading “ _[Hello Detective Reed. It’s a pleasure to meet you.]”_

“The fuck are you doing?” Gavin said, eyebrows screwing together at the sight of the display.

Jeffrey sighed again, speaking up on the android’s behalf. “RK900 cannot talk, so I expe-“

“ _Can’t talk?_ You give me an android and it doesn’t even work?” Gavin felt like he was taking crazy pills, his blood pressure rising from all of this.

“So I _expect_ you to behave professionally and _respectfully_ , Detective Reed! Now please, do me a favor and go back to your desk. Show RK900 around, and don’t fucking make me regret this.”

Gavin knows when it’s time to shut up and leave. So he did, but not without stomping and huffing about it.

A fucking partner. A fucking android partner.

The RK900 followed suit, quietly trailing behind him and stopping when they reached his desk. Gavin could hear giggles from a few rows away. He laughed when this happened to Hank last year. Now _this_ was karma.

He dropped down into his chair and forced himself to look at RK900. “When Connor joined, I thought he was going to replace us,” he laughed, mostly to himself. “I guess it’s really happening, huh? That what this trial period is about? To see if some broken android can do better than someone who’s been doing this for years, like some sick test?”

RK900 cocked his head. “ _[I’ll have you know I specifically requested you for my mentorship because of your skill and invaluable experience. Also, I kindly request you not refer to me as ‘broken.’]”_

“Sure, whatever, tin can,” Gavin grumbled, turning back to his computer. RK900 just stood there. “Well sit down and stay a while, why don’t ‘ya?” he gestured vaguely to the desk next to him.

Only then did RK900 sit down. He sat there, completely stock still.

God, this is going to kill him. This is going to be what finally does him in.

Gavin closed his eyes and let out a long, suffering sigh before looking back over at RK900. He had a new holographic display ready for him.

“ _[I do believe Captain Fowler told you to show me around.]”_ RK900 “said.”

“Go show yourself around,” Gavin said, turning back to his terminal.

He blatantly ignored RK900, mindlessly scrolling through emails. A message popped up on the corner of his computer screen like a notification. “ _[Do you have any case files you would like me to take a look at?]”_ it said. How the fuck…?

Gavin pretended he didn’t see it and switched to his phone, checking his emails on that instead. After a beat of time, he felt a hand prod his shoulder.

Gavin spun around, smacking the hand off of him. “ _Don’t_ fucking touch me,” he threatened. RK900 blinked at him.

RK900 raised his hand display again. “ _[Detective Reed, I don’t intend on just sitting here all day.]”_

Gavin groaned loudly. “Fine, I’ll send you shit I’ve been working on the last few months. Then leave me the fuck alone.”

RK900 put his hand down and stared intently at him. God, this guy was creepy. Connor was freaky when they first met, but even pre-deviancy he had a little more pep in his step.

“Are you even a deviant?” he asked, not caring if that was, like, rude or anything.

“ _[I am.]_ ” RK900 flashed his palm.

“Hm.”

“ _[You are welcome to ask me more questions.]”_ RK900 almost looked, slightly, for a fraction of a second, eager.

“I promise, I don’t give a shit.”

That seemed to make RK900 deflate a little. Gavin considered that a success. Maybe the faster he can annoy RK900, the faster he’ll ask to be reassigned to be someone else’s partner.

Okay, maybe he was curious about one thing.

“Tell me something, tin can,” Gavin said, scrutinizing RK900 closely. “Do _you_ have a soulmate?”

RK900 appeared to hesitate before deciding to lift his hand again. “ _[I do.]”_ It read. “ _[Do you?]”_

Gavin soured at that, giving RK900 a death glare. Of fucking course this god damn hunk of junk had a soulmate and not him.

RK900 seemed to get the message as Gavin caught his hand display reading “ _[I apologize if that is a sensitive topic.]”_ before he turned back around to face his monitor.

Gavin mumbled a quiet “Whatever,” under his breath as he forwarded his case files over to RK900, using the contact information from whatever the fuck that message was that he made pop up on his screen earlier.

RK900 logged in to the terminal in front of him and immediately got to work scanning everything. Fucking go-getter. As if he has anything to prove, being an android with a supercomputer brain a thousand times faster than Gavin could even imagine.

RK900 seemed to have half a sense to leave Gavin alone while he was still cooling down from earlier, quietly catching himself up on files and emails and whatnot. He didn’t try to bother him again for a while.

There were a few more whispers from the desks next to them. Gavin ground his teeth into his skull as he tried to ignore them, reaching for his Rubik’s cube to fidget with.

Gavin could feel RK900 watching him, but he didn’t give him the satisfaction of turning around to face him. If he was gonna judge his desk toys, of all things, then he can go fuck himself. 

A new message popped up on his screen. “ _[Has this missing person’s case been solved yet?]”_ it said, with an attachment pointing to the specific case. An AP700 model named Ben went missing a few days ago, no one has been able to make contact with him since.

“No, it just came in, haven’t had a chance to go out yet,” Gavin grumbled, still refusing to turn towards RK900.

“ _[He was last seen at the android bar, ‘The Pit Stop’. We ought to go there and ask around.]”_ RK900 suggested.

Gavin rolled his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. “Yeah. ‘Ought to.”

“ _[Great. Let’s go.]”_ RK900 was immediately standing again, neatly pushing his chair under his desk.

“Woah, woah, fuck, _right_ now?” Gavin complained. Just who does this android think he is?

“ _[Please.]”_ RK900 flashed his hand, already walking towards the exit.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Gavin grumbled, scrabbling for his things and chased after RK900.

Guess this is really happening, then.

* * *

RK900 led the way out of the precinct, eager to get a move on. It’s only been a few minutes, but he has an inkling about this case. They haven’t a moment to lose. Missing persons cases get more deadly with each passing hour.

“Wait up! Fuck, wait, asshole!” Detective Reed was still at his desk, gathering up his things. RK900 did wait for a moment to let him catch up. 

RK900 knows that he’s already on thin ice with Detective Reed, even though they’ve only known each other for approximately one hour. He’s not doing himself any favors annoying him right out of the gate like this.

However, it is only going to make him feel that much more victorious when he impresses him.

RK900 wanted to take one of the autonomous police cruisers, but the detective insisted on using his personal car. That frustrated him a little bit. He would have no way of talking to him on the drive there, as Detective Reed should keep both eyes on the road and not at RK900’s palm display, but it was more than likely that Detective Reed was doing it for that exact reason.

It seemed more and more plausible as Detective Reed smirked as he got in the car, turning his music up too loud for even him to talk over.

Reed drove them to the ‘The Pit Stop’, a small joint in a quieter part of the city, and parked a block away. The drive was over twenty minutes long, and they didn’t speak a single word the entire time.

RK900 knew Detective Reed was going to be hard to work with, but he still didn’t anticipate the lengths in which he was going to actively avoid interacting with him.

“Okay,” Detective Reed finally spoke up after he killed the engine. “You follow _my_ lead, got it? I know you’re eager, but you are in way over your fuckin’ head, rookie.”

“ _[I assure you that my experience is not indicative of my skill level. I am perfectly capable of carrying out this investigation.]”_

“You’re going to shut your fucking- you’re going to stand back and let me do the talking, okay? Must I remind you _I_ am _your_ superior? Just do what I say,” Reed said through his teeth.

RK900 blinked at him. “ _[As you wish.]”_

“And quit staring at me like that, or we’re going to have a problem,” Detective Reed threatened, as if he doesn’t already have several problems with him.

“ _[In what way?]”_ RK900 asked.

Detective Reed gestured vaguely to RK900’s face. “Like that! Fucking terminator. Keep lookin’ at me like you’re gonna slit my throat.”

RK900 blinked again.

Oh.

He understands.

It was something that bothered Hank for a while too.

RK900 is not very… expressive, to say the least.

He is a deviant, but the RK-line base programming is very hard to break. Old habits die hard, as they say. They programmed any “softness” the RK800 had out of him. His programmers decided that the naturally approachable demeanor of his predecessor hindered his ability to carry out missions, so it was the first line of code to go.

RK900 can’t help it, though. As Hank said, he has a “hell of a resting bitch face.” He doesn’t mean to look hardened and displeased all of the time, he just doesn’t know how _not_ to. It hurt a little bit. He didn’t want people to be disturbed by him, or afraid of him like those people in the security footage.

Detective Reed quickly dropped the topic and got out of the car, shaking his head and muttering something under his breath about androids. RK900 followed suit, opting to stay a step behind to give him some space. He probably annoyed Reed enough today, and it’s only noon.

They entered the bar, not terribly shocked to only see a couple of patrons. It was too early, even for androids.

‘The Pit Stop’ was one of only a few android bars in the city. They only started popping up a few months after the revolution, mostly run by humans hoping to capitalize on a whole new target audience. There is no such thing as alcohol for androids yet, but they do serve a variety of thirium products safe for consumption, and androids have been quick to enjoy social spaces tailored for them specifically, regardless of their ability to become inebriated.

This bar, however, was the first and only one to have a disappearance.

Detective Reed stepped up to the bar counter, curtly greeting the human bartender before flashing his badge.

“Hello, I’m Detective Gavin Reed and, er,” Reed leaned up against the counter and looked back at RK900, almost pained to continue talking, “my partner. We’d like to ask you a few questions about the disappearance of one of your customers, if you don’t mind.”

“Jason,” the bartender replied, throwing a towel over his shoulder. He was an older, gruff looking man with a well-kept beard, akin to the ‘hipster’ style of the 2010’s. “I run this place.”

“Well, Jason, do you remember serving this customer, by the name of Ben?” Detective Reed gestured towards RK900. Recognizing his cue, he displayed images of the missing android on his holographic palm display.

Jason pursed his lips, surveying the photos closely. “I mean, maybe? No offense, but he’s a really common model. I’ve probably had at least five customers who looked just like him in the last week.”

RK900 scanned Jason’s micromovements as he spoke, searching for signs of lying. There were none, but the statement was incredibly vague and hard to lie about in the first place. Whether that was intentional or not, he has no idea yet.

“Have you seen anything suspicious lately?” Detective Reed continued. “Maybe some weird people coming in here? Any humans?”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t think so? Honestly officer, I don’t think I’ve been paying attention as closely as you wanted.”

RK900 knows Detective Reed ordered him to be quiet and follow his lead, but he wasn’t very satisfied with the results so far. He started scanning the room, looking for anything out of place.

There were some spots with thirium stains, but that could easily be chalked up to spills from the thirium products sold at the bar. Frustrating.

He looked around some more and spotted a CCTV camera in the corner. “ _[Do you have access to the footage from your security camera?]”_ RK900 lifted his hand and displayed, much to Detective Reed’s dismay.

“Yeah, sure,” Jason said, waving the two of them to join him behind the counter where a small screen showed the camera’s view. 

RK900 wasted no time and interfaced with the screen, footage flashing by, hundreds of hours in a manner of seconds, until he located footage of Ben. He let the clip play out, incredibly tiny on the little monitor.

“How can you tell its him?” Detective Reed said in disbelief as he watched from a step away, arms folded across his chest.

RK900 didn’t respond, only glanced at Detective Reed with his “terminator” look. He’s equipped with the most advanced analytical technology known to man, he can identify an android from some security footage.

Detective Reed appeared to get the message and returned to studying the footage. “Wait, the night he went missing, someone else was bartending,” he pointed out.

It was true. The man in the footage seemed to be a younger man, no older than thirty.

“Oh, yeah, looks like Mikey,” Jason supplied, “he works the weekends.”

They watched the monitor carefully. RK900 sped up the footage to when Ben left the bar, seemingly leaving with Mikey when he was closing up shop.

“ _[Do you have Mikey’s home address and contact information?]”_ RK900 pulled away from the monitor to display on his hand.

“Um, sure,” Jason said, body language and minuscule facial movements revealing he’s a little nervous now. Perhaps he was worried for his employee.

Jason scribbled down the information and held it out for RK900 to take. Detective Reed snatched it instead, but by then RK900 already scanned and internalized what was written down.

“I think we’re done here for now, thanks,” Detective Reed said, making his way out of the bar. RK900 would have liked to have stayed longer, but he also agreed they have enough information for now and followed him outside.

Detective Reed made sure they were a reasonable distance away before spinning around to face him. “I thought I fuckin’ said to shut up and let me lead?” he snipped.

“ _[I found your questions insufficient.]”_ RK900 displayed simply.

“Do you think I’m an idiot or something? I was gonna ask him where he was the nights of the disappearances. _I_ would have gotten the same god damn info, _you_ just got impatient,” Reed seemed to be getting angrier now, getting closer and closer in RK900’s space.

RK900 backed up a step. “ _[I think you may just be embarrassed that I found a clue before you did. Am I correct in that assessment?]”_

RK900 didn’t mean to strike a nerve, but suddenly Detective Reed was shoving him into the wall of the nearest building at full force. “I am _not_ fucking _embarrassed_. I just don’t like cocky little toasters like you barging in and tryin’ to do _my job_ better than me,” he seethed, fists firmly curled around RK900’s jacket, knuckles whitening.

“ _[I apologize, it was not my intention to make a fool out of you.]”_ RK900 wrote honestly. He wants to impress him, not anger him.

That didn’t seem to make Detective Reed feel any better, though. _Curse_ his inability to convey tone through text.

“You think you’re funny, huh? Go fuck yourself,” Reed spat, letting RK900 go with one last push against the wall. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and stormed back to his car, not even glancing back.

RK900 trailed after him cautiously. Approaching the car, it didn’t seem Detective Reed was going to stop him and make him take a taxi cab back, so he carefully opened the passenger side door and got inside.

He was about to lift his hand, display showing “ _[We ought to discuss our next plan of action.]”_ but Detective Reed put his hand up to halt him.

“Save it for when we’re back in the office,” he ordered curtly. RK900 did, not wanting to anger him further. He gingerly placed his hands in his lap and looked directly forward the entire, tense ride back.

They eventually arrived back at the precinct without much pomp and circumstance, Detective Reed already punching in the new information in the system as soon as he got back to their desks.

RK900 sat down and lifted his hand again. “ _[We are back at the office. Now let’s please discuss our next plan of action.]”_

Detective Reed sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I think tomorrow we should pay Mikey a visit, see if he knows anything or anyone. For now, we do paperwork and hang tight.”

RK900 nodded. As much as he’d like to question Mikey now, his eagerness was clearly rubbing Detective Reed the wrong way.

He worked quietly on legal papers and such for the rest of the day. RK900 also lightly analyzed Detective Reed’s fidgeting habits. He appears to have several small toys on his desk, less for amusement and more for relaxation purposes. He noticed he plays with them when he is at his most stressed- jaw clenched, temple pulsing, breathing heavily- but evenly. Breathing exercises, possibly?

His fidgeting slows down at the same time the rest of his body relaxes, which also supports his hypothesis that the toys are meant to de-stress.

Connor also fidgets. RK900 noticed it at home, and he notices here at work as well, watching him toy with a coin from across the room. He seems to do it to help him focus when his mind is occupied by too many thoughts at once.

RK900 wondered if Detective Reed suffers from anxiety. He certainly suffers from an incredibly short temper and has issues with self-consciousness- He lashed out when he felt his intelligence was being questioned, but he also recoiled into silence earlier when asked if he has a soulmate.

One thing is for sure, there’s more to Gavin Reed than meets the eye.

* * *

It was late at night. It was long after telling Detective Reed to have a good night (and promptly being ignored) and heading home shortly after Hank and Connor, preferring to ride home alone on his motorcycle than carpool. He also preferred to take the scenic route home, just to extend the time spent on his bike.

He liked the way it feels, riding fast and free, feeling the wind whip around his body. It was one of the few things he genuinely enjoyed. He found it relaxing, too. It’s just him, his bike, and the road in front of him. He bought the bike with the money he got from working with the SWAT team, and Hank has graciously allowed him to keep it in the garage, not using the space for much else otherwise.

RK900 sat alone on the couch in the living room, his jacket neatly folded and placed off to the side. Hank had already gone to bed, and Connor was taking care of something in the yard for a moment, soon to follow suit.

One sleeve of his black dress shirt was pushed halfway up his forearm, and he studied the various new marks made on him tonight.

It was something of a routine. When everyone else has gone to bed, he checks on his soulmate. He’s too cowardly to write back, but he does worry about them. Judging from the erratic nature of the scribbles and occasional cut marks, they must be deeply troubled, and it broke his heart.

RK900 hated to think about how long they must have been doing this, since they have kept this up every day since he was activated, nine months ago.

He felt helpless. He could just… write back and make them feel better. It sounds so simple in theory. But he’s just not _ready,_ and he has no idea when he will be. The moment he writes back, there will be an insurmountable amount of pressure to meet-

RK900 quickly shoved his sleeve back down, noticing Connor return from the yard earlier than expected and greeting him in the living room.

“You didn’t tell us how your first day went,” Connor said quietly, sitting down in the chair next to the couch. “I hope Gavin wasn’t too much of a handful.”

That was true. RK900 stayed silent about it all night, and was just about to get away with it too.

“ _[It was okay. I think I may have been too overbearing.]”_ RK900 scrolled. “ _[I made a bad first impression.]”_

“Everyone makes a bad first impression with Gavin,” Connor said with a little laugh, and a hint of sadness. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“ _[I suspect he suffers from mental health issues.]”_ RK900 suggested. It would be so easy to write Detective Reed off as a jerk and request to be reassigned to someone else, and maybe he’s reading too much into it but… Some people are bullies because they get a thrill out of putting others down. Detective Reed seems more like the kind of bully that is hiding issues of his own. He seems… afraid?

Afraid of someone being better than him. Afraid of being made redundant and someone replacing him, especially androids.

Again, maybe RK900 is just overanalyzing. They have only known each other for a day, after all.

“I… I agree with that,” Connor said, glancing down. Perhaps he has witnessed Detective Reed’s mental health problems first hand. “Were you looking for a soulmark before I came in?”

Connor doesn’t miss anything, does he.

“ _[Sort of.]”_ RK900 was a little taken aback by Connor’s bluntness.

Connor’s eyebrows raised and a small smile toyed on his lips, urging him to continue. RK900 shifted in his seat and toyed with the cuff of his shirt. He didn’t want to show him. He wasn’t ready for whatever he would say if he saw the markings.

“ _[I have a soulmate.]”_ RK900 suddenly felt very put on the spot. He really, _really_ didn’t want to be discussing this right now.

Connor lit up immediately. “You do? Congratulations! Have you written back yet? What have they said? Do you know their name?”

RK900 didn’t want to make a spectacle of this. “ _[I haven’t written back yet. I don’t know their name, they just draw on themselves a lot.]”_ It wasn’t a total lie.

“What are you waiting for then? You should write back! This is so exciting, there’s someone out there for you to fall in love with!” Connor seemed far more excited about this than RK900 was.

“ _[I don’t think I’m ready to write back yet. I promise I will, it’s just overwhelming…]”_ RK900’s hand displayed uselessly. His slowly reddening LED betrayed how he was really feeling.

Connor slumped a bit at that. RK900 wished he could share in his enthusiasm, but it’s just… a lot. It’s strange waking up for the first time, not even one half of a year ago, and immediately learning you have a soulmate. Most people have approximately twenty years of buildup to this, RK900 had maybe one day, if even that long.

He got a soulmate before he had any friends. Before he had a name, a purpose, a personality.

He never had a chance to date and experiment, like so many people do in their teen years. He wouldn’t even know what to do on a date… He’s certainly not ready for a romantic relationship with the person who is supposed to be “the one.” The one he will spend his life with, the one who will commit to him, the one who will be there through thick and thin, _The One,_ with a capital ‘O’…

Connor seemed to sense his distress and backed off. “Just don’t keep them waiting forever, okay? You can work through things. Soulmates are supposed to help you during your rough patches, not make them worse.”

RK900 sighed. “ _[I will. Soon. I’m sure.]”_

Connor reached out and touched his shoulder. RK900 relaxed a bit. “Goodnight, RK900. See you in the morning.”

“ _[Goodnight Connor.]”_


	3. Chapter 3

RK900 arrived at the precinct long before Detective Reed. At first, he was displeased with his professionalism, but then quickly forgave him. Maybe he has a good reason to be late. He clearly suffers from anxiety or something of that sort, perhaps something came up. He doesn’t want to judge before getting the whole story.

Besides, it was a good opportunity to finally take a look around the office. It wouldn’t hurt to take five minutes to explore, right?

RK900 took a little walk around, familiarizing himself with the office.

The brief rooms were nice. There was one already filled with officers being instructed on their tasks for the day, that’s good.

Interrogation rooms. Small and well secured. As they should be.

The holding cells were all currently empty. Whether that is a good or bad thing is entirely subjective.

The bathroom was well-kept. It doesn’t really matter considering he doesn’t have much use for them, but it was a worthy trip nonetheless.

Connor waved at him as he made his way to explore the break room. He nodded back.

RK900 was about to make his way back to his desk, satisfied with the tour he gave himself, when the thought occurred to him- what if he makes Detective Reed a cup of coffee so it would be ready for him when he arrives?

Actually, the more that he thinks about it, the better an idea it sounds.

He could estimate the amount of cream he prefers from the tone his coffee was yesterday, and approximate amount of sugar from the microscopic crystals on the sides of the mug. He was confident in his ability to recreate it with only a small margin of error. Hopefully Detective Reed will appreciate the gesture and be in a better mood this morning, and not feel so inclined to fidget with his desk toys.

RK900 approached the coffee machine, mission firmly in mind, when he overheard the hushed whispering of a few of the officers that sit near their desks.

It was Officers Miller and Chen, and they seemed to be talking about Detective Reed in his absence.

RK900 listened in closely. It was likely that the officers had no idea his hearing range was so wide and fine-tuned, so they wouldn’t know he could hear them. He’s aware that eavesdropping is considered rude, but he forgives himself because this was purely to get to know his partner better. It’s a necessary evil, you might say.

Also, he doesn’t care.

“How long until Gavin kills his new partner?” Officer Miller said.

“I’m betting the new guy kills him first. You see him yesterday?” Officer Chen replied.

“No way, my money’s on Gavin, for sure. He’s gotten so much worse lately, I dunno.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Every day I swear he’s two seconds from popping his lid. Yesterday, I swear to God, I thought he was really gonna lose it,” Officer Chen’s voice had a playful tone to it.

“That, or his Rubik’s Cube was finally gonna get it.”

The two officers snickered.

“Honestly? I feel bad for the new guy. We should save him or something. Nobody deserves to be saddled with Reed. That’s workplace abuse,” Officer Chen said, a new round of hushed giggles erupted.

RK900 had, frankly, heard enough. Detective Reed not getting along with him was hardly workplace abuse. He would know. Is this what the laughter was about yesterday too?

He collected the finished coffee cup and gingerly delivered it to Detective Reed’s desk before walking over to the two gossiping officers.

“ _[Can either of you tell me what some of Detective Reed’s favorite things are? Or hobbies of his?]”_ his hand scrolled.

Officer Chen and Miller read his message in a stunned, confused silence. RK900 waited a moment, pointedly looking between them. He wanted the moment to be long and awkward for them.

“ _[No? That’s a shame. You have known him for so much longer than I have, and I just want things to talk about with my new partner. It would be a shame to judge him without getting to know him better first, no?]”_

With that, he turned on his heels and sat down at his desk. The officers stayed completely silent and quickly returned to their own desks.

Right on time, it seemed. Detective Reed finally arrived, looking properly exhausted.

“ _[Good morning, Detective Reed. I look forward to working with you again today.]”_ RK900 greeted.

Detective Reed read his palm and sat down without saying a word. He also seemed to notice the mug of fresh coffee, staring at it like it grew a head of its own. 

“ _[I took the liberty of getting you some coffee this morning.]”_ RK900 tried getting his attention with a new display.

Detective Reed noticed it and tensed a little. Then after seemingly mulling it over for a second, he relaxed and took a small sip. “Hm,” he hummed curtly. RK900 took it as a thank-you.

RK900 scanned him. The detective was exhibiting all of the signs of a mild hangover. He sincerely hoped that he didn’t drive him to drink last night, but logic told him it was highly likely.

“ _[I apologize if I came off strong yesterday.]”_ RK900 decided it would be best to swallow his pride and apologize. It was true, after all. “ _[I may have been too quick to jump into action.]”_

Detective Reed quirked a brow at that, carefully sipping his coffee. “You fuckin’ serious?” He didn’t seem angry. If RK900 had to put a word to it, he’d say he sounded amused and slightly disbelieving. Perhaps it was his face. No matter what is displayed on his hand, RK900 almost always has the same stern expression.

RK900 nodded.

“Well, whatever,” he muttered, turning on his computer to check for new emails and case updates.

RK900 also turned towards his monitor to do the same.

A few minutes passed. RK900 was thinking about how he wanted to ask how they wanted to approach the case for the day, when Detective Reed spoke up first.

“I think we should head out to Mikey’s house, first thing,” he said, a note of regret in his voice. “Should’ve done it yesterday but I…”

RK900 watched Detective Reed as he spoke. Was he about to give him an apology? He sat quietly, giving him as much patience as he needed to finish the statement.

“Well, we just should have. But we didn’t. I fucked up there. So, let’s not waste too much time.”

Close enough.

In fact, RK900 was surprised Detective Reed took ownership for his mistake at all. It was respectable of him.

Detective Reed took another large swig of his coffee before setting it down and standing up. “Alright. Let’s get a move on.”

RK900 stood up with him. He was hesitant to say Detective Reed was in a better mood today. Yesterday he seemed angry and combative. Today he seemed too tired to feel strongly about him. Perhaps he will be more receptive towards conversating now…

“ _[Did you get enough sleep last night? You look rather tired this morning.]”_

“Shut up.”

Never mind.

They drove in Detective Reed’s car again, this time with the music turned down, likely due to the sensitivity from his lingering hangover. He did use the opportunity to speak this time.

“Alright, so we really don’t have a lot of information going in. We know he works the weekends, which is when every bar is busiest, so it doesn’t mean much,” he said, gesturing with one hand as he drove with the other. RK900 wished he would put both hands on the wheel, but he had no way of telling him without distracting his eyes. “We go to Mikey’s house unannounced. Unfortunately we don’t have enough reasonable suspicion to search his place without a warrant, so hopefully he’ll let us in and let us talk to him. You can probably scan the place discreetly right? Do what you can, I guess. Don’t make it obvious you’re snooping.”

RK900 nodded. It was a simple but fair plan, especially considering they didn’t have much else to go on.

Mikey’s house was closer to the outskirts of the city, in a very quiet neighborhood. Hopefully he was home, because there’s no chance his neighbors would be able to tell them when he was last seen.

Detective Reed parked down the road and led the way to Mikey’s doorstep. He didn’t order RK900 to stay quiet, which was nice. RK900 calculated the probability that it was just an accident and he simply forgot to assert himself, he came back with a good fifty percent.

Not that it was going to stop him if he had a good reason to speak up.

Detective Reed knocked on Mikey’s door and the two of them stood back quietly, waiting for a response.

“ _[There is movement inside of the house.]”_ RK900 shown Detective Reed discreetly. His sensors detected the faint vibrations and noises of someone walking from deep into the house. It felt like someone was coming up a staircase.

After a minute, someone answered the door. A quick facial scan showed RK900 that it was, indeed, Mikey. Michael Howard, according to his database.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” Mikey greeted. It seemed like he was interrupted when they knocked. 

“Hey, Mikey, right? I’m Detective Gavin Reed…” While Detective Reed was giving him their information, RK900 was already scanning Mikey and what he could see of his house through the opened door.

Dear God, it was everywhere.

On his hands, on his clothes, on the floor, on his counters.

Thirium stains.

It didn’t seem like Detective Reed noticed at all, which means it must be dried and evaporated and he was the only one who could still see it. 

He urged his LED to remain a neutral blue, to stay as calm and unassuming as the rest of his demeanor. Unfortunately it can’t be helped, and it was a solid, pulsing yellow.

How could he let Detective Reed know without alerting Mikey? He remotely sent him a text, hoping he would check his phone quickly. “ _[There’s dried thirium everywhere in the house and on his person. Drag marks. Like moving bleeding bodies.]”_ he sent.

… He wasn’t checking his phone fast enough.

RK900 called him, making the phone in the detective’s pocket ring.

“Excuse me for one second?” Detective Reed said, slightly irritated.

“Sure thing,” Mikey said, a small waver of nervousness in his voice. The man swayed back and forth between both feet as he waited for Detective Reed to finish checking his phone. He wouldn’t look RK900 in the eyes at all.

RK900 couldn’t prove exactly what was going on here from just the scan, but he knew something was terribly off.

He was careful to keep his eyes trained directly on Mikey, but in the corner of his vision he saw Detective Reed try to answer his phone. RK900 cut the call short so he would miss it, and instead only see the one unread text on his lock screen.

Detective Reed pocketed his phone and turned back to Mikey, calm and collected. It looked like he saw the message and decided to remain calm instead of jump to conclusions. Success.

“Your full name is Michael Howard, right?” Detective Reed questioned.

“Yes sir.”

“And you work the bar on weekends?” Detective Reed continued.

“Yes sir, just the weekends.”

“Have you had any androids over recently??”

Mikey shifted his weight onto one foot and glanced to the side. “No, I haven’t.”

“You live here, correct?”

“Yes, I live here.”

“Have you ever met an android named Ben?”

Mikey shifted again. “No, I haven’t.”

RK900 took a moment to recognize what Detective Reed was doing. He was sprinkling case questions among very simple questions, easy ones that Mikey had no reason to lie about. If he could learn what he looks like when he answers with easy truths, it would be more obvious to know when he was answering with a lie. He may even display tells.

RK900 could simply see when he was lying through nearly imperceptible cues only an android like him could scan.

Rapid heartbeat, seen through the very subtle micromovements at his pulse points.

Microscopic perspiration on his skin.

Twitching muscles, especially in his face and his hands.

Pupil dilations and small eye darts.

Tells, however, are easier for a human like Detective Reed to pick up. Indeed, Mikey has several, which Detective Reed likely figured out already with his questioning. Whether Mikey is aware of it or not, whenever he tells a lie, he shifts his weight over his other leg and glances elsewhere.

It was smart thinking on Detective Reed’s part, and would undoubtedly be helpful if they bring him in for further questioning. RK900’s lie detecting skills are exceptional, but not perfect. Getting a second opinion is always valuable. It was fascinating watching Detective Reed’s mind at work. There was a reason RK900 has chosen him to be his mentor.

Before Detective Reed could ask another simple lie tester question, Mikey suddenly turned heel and bolted behind the door and into the house.

It was only a fraction of a second before RK900 sprinted after him.

Mikey was in a panic, not thinking clearly. He tried shoving a lamp in his way as he scrambled for the house’s back entrance, but he clearly had no idea what kind of situations RK900 was programmed to deal with. RK900 easily tackled him to the floor before he could even reach the door.

* * *

Gavin barely had any time to react to Mikey making a run for it, RK900 already had him pinned on the ground with his arms behind his back. Shell shocked, he ran over and unclipped the pair of handcuffs he keeps on his belt.

“What the fuck was that about?” he growled as he hooked the cuffs onto Mikey’s hands. “Are you fucking crazy? Do you know how much evading police is gonna get you?”

Mikey didn’t say a word, just hyperventilated against the wood grain of the floor.

Gavin didn’t know what the fuck was going on. He couldn’t see any of the blue blood that RK900 claimed to see, and they’ve only been here a few minutes before it all went upside down.

“Call for backup to get this guy taken in. We’re searching the place,” Gavin ordered, deciding they have enough reasonable suspicion that something fucked is happening now. Mikey let out a small whimper, but he didn’t feel sorry for him at all.

RK900 nodded back at him and his LED spun a couple of times. He lifted off of Mikey, who clearly wasn’t going to be running off any time soon, and lifted his palm to Gavin. “ _[I was able to text them. Backup is on the way.]”_

Gavin sighed and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. Everything happened so fast.

Going to the bar, getting information, coming to the house, arresting Mikey.

All under twenty-four hours.

After a few minutes of complete, awkward silence, a patrol car rolled up and the officers took Mikey away, giving Gavin and RK900 the opportunity to search the house.

“Alright, let’s see what he’s hiding,” Gavin sighed, gesturing for RK900 to follow him and watch his back, just in case there were any more surprises today.

“ _[Let’s check downstairs. That is where I heard him approach from before.]”_ RK900 flashed on his hand.

Gavin nodded and led the way down the staircase, quiet and cautious.

He was ready for the worst, but he still wasn’t ready for what he found.

There were five androids down here in various stages of disassembly. “What the fuck?” he said immediately.

“ _[Ben is here.]”_ RK900’s palm said as he inspected a household assistant model. That must be Ben. His LED was a rapid spinning yellow. “ _[And more, possibly not yet reported missing.]”_

He carefully approached one of the androids. They were all propped up on machines, hooked up to computers. Some were hooked up to desktops, some were on laptops. The wires were all connected to their heads. To their brains?

There was a fresher spill of blue blood in the corner, where broken android parts and limbs were strewn about. New parts were in boxes and spread across tables, along with tools for assembly.

It was all just so gruesome.

“Are they alive?” Gavin hesitated to ask, looking over at RK900 to read whatever he had to say.

He hoped they were alive.

If any of them were dead… If they were too late…

“ _[They are all functional. It looks like their memories have been erased, like factory reset. Undeviated. Jericho has a team of engineers that can restore lost memories, they can be fixed.]”_

Gavin relaxed a little at that, but just barely.

“You said there were dried blood marks? Like dragged bodies?” Gavin questioned, finding that part to be the most frightening detail of all.

 _“[I believe some of them may have struggled to escape. My preconstructions are coming back unclear. I’m going to contact Connor. He can get Jericho to repair them.]”_ RK900 shown.

“Alright. Take as many pictures as you can, for evidence. Then we can go back to the office and start… piecing this together…” Gavin sighed. He needed to sit down. There was a lot to think about here.

He didn’t know how to feel about RK900 crushing a missing person case in only a matter of hours.

Gavin wouldn’t have recognized Ben in the security footage. Even if Gavin got Mikey’s information by himself, he’s not confident he would have known something was suspicious at the house. He couldn’t hear any kind of footstep like RK900 did. Maybe after asking the right questions he could have made Mikey squirm until he revealed something, but… there’s no guarantee.

RK900 was the sole reason this was as much of a success as it was.

But saved victims are saved victims. Gavin should be happy they are alive and going to get the help they need. He knows how to recognize a job well done.

It just hurts that it’s a job well done that wasn’t done by himself, and he wasn’t even _needed_. And it’s a job well done by an android, nonetheless.

Just another nail in the coffin of his career.

The worst part was that they probably would have gotten even further in this case today if he dislodged his head from his ass and came here yesterday, when they should have in the first place.

He wants to hate RK900 for it.

He only hated himself for it.

He was so blinded by anger at the bar, that he made them call it in early for the day. Those were hours wasted that he could have spent saving Ben and the rest of these androids and returning them to their friends and families. How could he be so selfish? How could he lose sight of what’s right like that?

“ _[Detective Reed. You seem distressed.]”_ RK900 had to wave his hand in front of his eyes for him to notice.

“Shut up, tin can,” he said weakly.

RK900 left him alone.

The two of them held down the fort until the cavalry came, locking off the house as an active crime scene. Safe to leave the premises, Gavin drove them back to the precinct.

They were still quiet as they sat down and began processing the new information and evidence. Gavin made the reluctant executive decision to let Hank and Connor handle getting the androids into Jericho’s care. Connor had the closest ties to Jericho, so he would be able to communicate the most effectively.

The androids are always the most effective.

Gavin’s not sure why he wasn’t just fired already.

“ _[Detective Reed. You have been quiet for hours. Please tell me what’s on your mind.]”_ RK900’s message popped up on his computer screen.

Gavin sighed and barely turned his head. “The fuck you want me to tell you? You solved your first case. Passed with flying colors. All on your own. You proved you’re better than me. You want a medal? A pat on the back?”

RK900 tilted his head at him. “ _[You were instrumental in this case as well.]”_

“Please don’t blow smoke up my ass,” Gavin grumbled.

“ _[Believe it or not, Detective Reed, there is a lot I am excited to learn from you.]”_ RK900’s eyebrows pulled together as he stared at him.

Gavin didn’t believe him. “Whatever.”

He finished inputting all of the evidence they gathered today into the database. It was clear Mikey was illegally modifying androids, but for what reason? He highly doubted the androids came to him by their own volition, considering each one was reported missing by their friends. If they were looking for underground repairs, _someone_ would have known about it.

“What do you think he was doing with them?” Gavin asked, the unknown plaguing him.

RK900 looked over at him, taking a long moment before lifting his palm. “ _[I truly don’t know. Hopefully we will get more answers from the victims when they are restored.]”_

Gavin pursed his lips. It was such a bizarre scene to witness, downstairs in Mikey’s basement. He needed closure on it. They needed to figure out what his motivation and end goal was, both for legal reasons and Gavin’s sanity… but it can wait.

The sun was setting through the windows.

Mikey was apprehended and the victims were in safe hands.

Gavin can breathe tonight.

* * *

Gavin sat on the couch in front of his TV. To say he was actually watching it would be an overstatement.

Munchkin and Timbit, his two tabby cats, sat on either side of him, keeping him company while he got lost in his head.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the android victims from tonight. They have friends who care about them. They may even have soulmates. Jericho is going to help get them back on their feet and back to their loved ones. They’re not any different from humans. Gavin is aware of this.

Why couldn’t he just _fucking admit it_?

It all came back to Connor.

Whenever he thought about androids in any capacity, his mind unhelpfully supplied the memories of pointing his gun to Connor’s head. It haunted him.

Every time he thought about it, he wanted to hurt himself. He wanted to hurt himself like he knows he hurt Connor- or at least tried to. Everything he did to help androids since the revolution felt like he was putting a bandaid on a wound that wasn’t healing. A wound that needed real medicine and attention or it was never going to go away.

His shower that evening washed away any markings he drew on his body. He couldn’t leave his skin bare like that. What if his soulmate was checking for marks tonight? He always needed one at the ready, just in case.

Numb, Gavin reached for the first thing he could find that would leave a mark.

It hurt.

He deserved it.

Timbit and Munchkin didn’t seem to agree, weaving between his legs and rubbing up against him. He laid down on his bed and let the cats jump up and snuggle against him.

Gavin once heard something about cat purrs having healing properties, something about the frequency of it promoting tissue regeneration and lowering blood pressure and stuff. He wondered idly if his feline friends were intentionally trying to heal him.

Maybe he was just a comfortable heat source to sleep on.

Gavin liked to imagine it’s the former.

* * *

Gavin arrived at the precinct the next morning relatively on-time. He was antsy, already fucking around with his desk toys to calm down.

Of course, RK900, Hank, and Connor were all already here. If he wanted to be alone for a few minutes, he should have known to come in earlier than the Goodie-Two-Shoe-Crew.

RK900 tried saying good morning and asked him how his evening was, but Gavin was too distracted to answer.

He had unfinished business to attend to.

With one deep, shaky breath, Gavin stood up and crossed the room over to Connor’s desk. Both Hank and Connor looked up at him. The way they immediately tensed up was not lost on him.

“Need to talk to you,” Gavin said curtly, having a hard time meeting Connor’s eyes.

“Okay. What do you need, Gavin?” Connor asked politely, still with that naturally chipper tone in his voice.

“Privately,” Gavin responded too quickly. He shifted a little where he stood, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets. “Please.”

“Oh. Okay.” Connor stole a quick glance with Hank before getting up from his desk.

This was agonizing.

Gavin followed Connor to wherever he was leading him, which ended up being an empty interrogation room. Gavin was a little surprised Connor trusted being in an enclosed space alone with him, but he supposed there were enough security cameras around to keep them company in the case he tries something.

“Alright,” Connor said, standing in the middle of the room. Gavin stood off to the side, backed up against the wall. He felt cornered, even though he put himself in this position. “Is something the matter? Is this about RK900?”

Gavin’s jaw tightened as his teeth ground against each other. “No,” he said, trying to kill time to find the words he needed. Connor was patient. Far too patient than he deserved.

“I wanted…” Gavin’s throat felt like it was going to close on him. It was so hard to talk, each word felt painful. “I wanted to apologize.”

“What for?” Connor said. There’s _no way_ he didn’t know, but he was playing dumb for some reason. Gavin couldn’t tell if it was to make him feel better, or to put him on the spot.

“For trying to fucking kill you! Several times!” Gavin nearly shouted. “And punching you.”

Connor blinked at him. “Well, thank you, Gavin,” he said simply.

“I’m fuckin’ serious, I…” Gavin hesitated. The lump in his throat didn’t feel satisfied yet. “I was having… a hard time. Accepting androids and all that… And I just… I’d never point a fucking gun at a person just for not liking them, you know?” he felt his words getting softer, more sincere. He hated Connor seeing him so vulnerable like this, but he _had to_.

“I should have never… It keeps me awake at night, _okay?_ There’s no god damn words I could say that would take back what I did. I don’t even expect you to accept the apology. I just needed to say it,” Gavin finished, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes were trained firmly on the ground. He just wanted to curl in on himself and hide for the next hundred years.

Connor was quiet for what seemed like forever. “I forgive you,” he said softly.

Gavin looked up. Connor was giving him a small smile, one that he’s only ever seen him give to Hank and his other friends in the office. He felt like he could break and crumble into a thousand pieces right then and there.

“I could tell you’ve been making an effort to make amends with Hank. You have also made great strides since I first met you in general,” Connor continued.

Gavin looked away again and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Connor didn’t need to see how his eyes were slightly glossy. “Um, I dunno about that,” he said sheepishly.

“It’s true. You’ve become significantly less hostile,” Connor stated like it was some kind of fact. “I can tell you’ve bottled up some form of regret for a long time. May I suggest therapy? I believe you deserve to have your mind at peace.”

Gavin looked up at him again. He still looked earnest.

“I’ll think about it,” Gavin mumbled, not knowing how to take what Connor just said to him.

Connor smiled again. “I’m going to go back to my desk. Please feel free to approach me if you ever want to talk again.”

Gavin nodded, letting Connor go. He’d go back to his own desk in a minute, he just needed another second to breathe.

Connor could easily be lying. He could just be telling Gavin what he wanted to hear so he would leave him alone.

But, somehow… that didn’t seem like Connor. Since becoming a deviant, Connor has always been very honest and caring about people. Hell, he was always a hundred times kinder to Gavin than he deserved. Maybe he was crazy, but… It almost sounded like Connor was ready to forgive him for a while, and was just waiting for Gavin to catch up.

It felt like a weight was being lifted.


	4. Chapter 4

Yesterday had been rather uneventful. RK900 and Detective Reed worked silently at their desks, mostly waiting to get news from Jericho about the android victims. Mikey was quietly awaiting hearing back from a lawyer, exercising his right to remain silent for now.

RK900 was curious why Detective Reed wanted to talk to Connor in private yesterday, but ultimately decided it wasn’t any of his business and didn’t prod them about it. It seemed to be regarding personal matters between them, and if they wanted him to know, they would tell him. Honestly, both Connor and Detective Reed came back from their discussion looking dramatically more relaxed, and that was the most important thing.

RK900 worked diligently. When they weren’t actively working on the Mikey and the missing android case, there was always something else to take care of, usually in paperwork form. In such a bustling city, there was no shortage of work, even if it’s just dealing with parking violations and similar misdemeanors.

“Why don’t you have a name, anyway?” Detective Reed suddenly spoke up, tone casual and curious.

It surprised RK900 a little to be asked a personal question by Detective Reed. He clearly had no interest in getting to know RK900 in the last four days; He made no further attempts to converse with him ever since he asked if he had a soulmate, if you could even count that as a conversation.

“ _[I haven’t thought of one I liked yet.]”_ RK900 lifted his hand to respond. It was the short answer.

The long answer was that he was still struggling to discover himself. He doesn’t have many desires besides succeeding at this job and gaining Detective Reed’s respect and approval. He barely has any likes or dislikes. Your name is an integral part of your identity. What if he chooses one that doesn’t fit him?

Detective Reed pursed his lips and stared at him. “Well, I’m not fucking calling you _Arr-Kay-Nine-Hundred._ That’s dumb.”

“ _[What do you suggest then, Detective?]”_ RK900 let out a small sigh.

“I’m gonna call you ‘Nines,’ for short.” Detective Reed said with conviction.

“ _[It doesn’t sound like I have a say in the matter.]”_ RK900 shown, his right brow raising just a tiny bit.

“Nope,” Detective Reed said, leaning back in his chair to kick his legs up onto his desk. RK900 was a little taken aback by the action, but decided not to nag him for it.

Detective Reed looked like was carefully considering saying something else. RK900 just continued to stare back at him until he spoke again.

“You can knock it off with the ‘Detective’ shit and just call me Gavin, you know,” Detective Reed said finally, seeming satisfied with himself now.

‘Gavin’.

Okay.

If it makes him feel more comfortable around him, then ‘Gavin’ it is.

“ _[Okay, Gavin.]”_ RK900 responded.

For one quick second, Gavin smirked back at him before turning back to his computer. In that same brief moment, RK900 felt an indescribable glimmer of joy.

He knew he wanted Gavin’s respect, but actually receiving a very small crumb of friendliness? That felt wonderful. He wanted to chase that feeling.

Now he understands what Connor meant when he told him that last year, when he was first assigned to Hank, he got highly distracted from solving the deviancy crisis case in favor of doing things that made the lieutenant open up to him. Seeing Hank happy made him happy, and growing their friendship became a higher priority than his mission, and became worth risking his life over.

RK900 could see how this feeling could become addicting.

He turned back to his computer as well, continuing what he was doing before he was interrupted. That is, until he was interrupted a second time, this time by Connor.

_Incoming connection from #313 248 317. Accept? Yes/No_

_> Yes_

“ _RK900! I just got word from Jericho. The missing android victims have all been restored, and Ben is ready to talk,”_ Connor’s voice rang in RK900’s head.

“ _[Excellent.]”_ RK900 is only able to send text notifications through internal connections, frustratingly. He wished he _at least_ had an internal voice, but alas, he had absolutely no way to communicate with spoken words in any form, even if it is through mental links.

“ _He’s not comfortable leaving Jericho yet, so you’ll have to pay him a visit there,”_ Connor added helpfully.

_“[Understood. Thank you, Connor.]”_

_#313 248 317 has disconnected._

RK900 let out a small sigh. He didn’t want to go back to Jericho, but duty calls. The comfort of the victim was far more important than his feelings right now, Ben has been traumatized and was likely suffering from a form of agoraphobia. RK900 can manage.

He turned to Gavin and explained the situation, and thankfully, with little resistance, they were out the door yet again.

Gavin, amazingly, put on his jacket before they left.

RK900 noticed he has been wearing his jacket all week, on top of long sleeve shirts, despite the fact that temperatures have been upwards of eighty degrees Fahrenheit in the middle of August. It didn’t make sense to him, even more so because Gavin was clearly not cold- he perspires quite a bit each time they go outside.

“ _[Gavin, you seem to be quite uncomfortable in the heat. You ought to be wearing something more temperature appropriate.]”_ he shown him on their way to Gavin’s car.

“Fuck off,” Gavin didn’t miss a beat.

Ah, RK900 struck a nerve again.

“You’re one to talk. You wear that Cyberlife jacket every day. Don’t you know it’s not cool to be wearing their swag anymore?”

“ _[The heat does not bother me.]”_ RK900 defended. He couldn’t help but glance down at his own jacket. He didn’t really think about it, but Gavin was right. Androids long abandoned their Cyberlife uniforms, and RK900 hasn’t yet. He doesn’t have the same history with Cyberlife, but the clothing is still a rather negative symbol.

More embarrassingly, he just doesn’t have other clothes to wear. It has never been a very high priority of his.

Also, under these layers, he can more easily hide the bizarre and frightening markings from his soulmate.

He doesn’t want people to react to them the way they did when he first noticed them. It was awfully awkward back then, with the other androids looking at him with pity in their eyes.

People are uncomfortable enough around him now, he doesn’t want to make it worse.

“Earth to Nines? I said it’s not cool to wear that shit anymore,” Gavin repeated; Apparently he genuinely wanted an answer from him.

“ _[This is all I have.]”_ RK900 couldn’t figure out a good enough lie to explain himself with.

They arrived at Gavin’s car. Gavin stopped walking and faced RK900 fully. “All you fucking have? Are you shitting me?” He sounded upset. RK900 wasn’t sure why.

RK900 found himself shifting uncomfortably, feeling put on the spot.

Gavin studied him for a moment longer, seemingly considering something. Before RK900 could ask what he was thinking, he shook his head and got into the car. RK900 followed suit, sitting in the passenger’s seat.

RK900 didn’t attempt to talk the entire ride to Jericho. He barely looked at Gavin, or even the road in front of them. His eyes fell downward into his lap, where he gently rubbed at his own fingers. He didn’t think he was the type to fidget like Gavin and Connor, but perhaps he exhibits nervous ticks after all.

Gavin glanced over at him a couple of times along the way, not saying anything. RK900 didn’t notice the man’s own anxious movements until he killed the engine, snapping RK900 mind back to attention. Gavin’s fingers drummed against the car wheel and he seemed highly hesitant to get out.

“ _[Is something the matter, Gavin?]”_ he asked with a cautious raise of his palm.

“Um, humans are allowed in there, right?” Gavin asked, voice clearly trying to remain confident, but came out with a small lilt of nervousness.

“ _[Yes, humans are allowed inside. I would have brought it up before if that weren’t the case.]”_

“Alright, smartass…” Gavin grumbled as he exited the car. RK900 followed after him.

Gavin quietly dropped back a few steps so RK900 would overtake him. It was unexpected at first, RK900 assumed Gavin would want to lead the way like usual, but he quickly realized this must be highly uncharted territory for him. It only made sense that he wanted RK900 to take charge for now.

Not that RK900 felt super comfortable at Jericho himself. It has only been about one month since moving in with Connor and Hank, but it feels like an eternity ago already. Their house is quiet, warm, and cozy. It’s much more comfortable than the cold, fluorescent lit halls of Jericho.

He doesn’t judge the androids that live there, either by choice or circumstance. Most of them have very little options, many androids can’t afford housing on their own. It’s convenient that androids don’t need to lay down to rest, they save a lot of space simply by not having bedrooms on the premise, but it also makes it far, far too crowded. RK900 rests in Hank’s living room, but even that is so much more private than any room in Jericho.

He knows he’s lucky, in that respect.

The other androids don’t judge him for leaving, though. It’s not unheard of for androids to be living elsewhere.

They just judge him for, well, being him.

Between looking like Connor, the android who almost cost them their freedom singlehandedly, being an android that gained deviancy after the revolution, having strange soulmarks that makes others uncomfortable, and being awkward and unsociable with base coding that makes him a perfect killing machine- The other androids here tend to avoid him.

Sometimes he wishes he was just… normal. Normal and average, like the common household models. Even if he didn’t have all of those qualities, he would _still_ be a unique model, making him stick out in a crowd. Even among humans, who are all visually unique, he stands out for being a mute android, something unheard of to them.

He’s either someone to be avoided, or he’s a spectacle of some kind. There is no in-between.

Heads turned the moment RK900 entered the building. They remember him. Androids don’t forget.

He probably could have tried harder to make friends during his time here, as maybe that would have helped him. It’s just difficult when others don’t want to give you a chance. It’s easier to keep your head down and not make waves.

That may be part of the reason why he wants to give Gavin a chance, if he’s being honest with himself. The other officers at the precinct don’t seem to get along with him. Maybe something similar is happening, maybe not. It’s worth putting in the effort to find out.

“RK900, welcome back! I hope you’ve been well,” Simon approached him from an adjoining hall, accompanied by Josh. The founding Jericho members were always friendly and caring to him, thankfully. They are caring towards everyone.

“ _[Hello Simon. Hello Josh. I have been well, thank you. How have things been here?]”_ RK900 greeted, offering them a very small smile. They know that he’s not very expressive, they understand that small smiles are a huge leap in personal progress, and smiled warmly in return.

“Just about as _chaotic_ as you left it,” Josh said with a little laugh. It seemed true, there were about the same number of androids walking around the place as there were a month ago. There was so much ambient noise from everything going on- Androids in workshops, androids getting repairs, androids on computers, child androids playing, adult androids chatting. The constant stimuli was simply overwhelming to RK900. “Ben is in the sick bay. He’s stable, just being monitored for a while longer. Simon’ll escort you, I have a workshop to run.”

Simon nodded in agreement. “Come along,” he led the way, waving goodbye to Josh for the time being. RK900 also gave him a small wave goodbye. It was nice seeing him again.

RK900 knew the way to the sick bay, but it was standard protocol to be accompanied by someone in charge. He didn’t mind. He also appreciated having someone he trusted escorting them, instead of an android he didn’t know. It made it feel like there was less of a spotlight on them.

“I’m Simon, by the way. I don’t believe we’ve met before,” Simon turned to politely greet Gavin, who looked highly uncomfortable being here. He walked with his head down and his shoulders slightly hunched over, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

“Detective Gavin Reed. I’m, uh, working the case with Nines,” Gavin said, lacking the confidence he had the last few times he introduced himself to someone.

“Nines, huh? That’s an interesting name,” Simon gave another warm smile to RK900 as they entered an elevator, as the sick bay was much further down.

“ _[It’s a nickname. I still haven’t chosen a name for myself.]”_ RK900 supplied, watching Simon hit the button for the bottom-most basement level floor. The building was rather large, as it used to be a warehouse for android parts and biocomponents. It wasn’t as large as Cyberlife Tower though, which Jericho is in the middle of negotiations to reclaim. It would be monumental, multiplying Jericho’s housing and working space by nearly three times, but Cyberlife is reluctant to give up their flagship base.

Soon enough, they made it to the requested floor. Jericho fashioned a makeshift hospital out of the bottom levels, utilizing all the parts and components found in the storage. Parts of it were allocated for emergencies and active repairs, the area they were headed to was much more secluded, meant for recovering androids. It was probably the quietest area in Jericho, and yet RK900 still felt like there was no room to breathe with all the nurses and engineers running around, tending to their patients.

Simon led the way. “Here we are,” he said, opening a door to a more private room with two androids inside. Ben, and the nurse assigned to look after him, likely there to monitor his stress levels. “Ben, this is Detective Reed and RK900. You may remember them as being the first officers to rescue you. Please, answer their questions to the best of your ability. I’ll be right here,” he said kindly, standing off to the side.

RK900 looked towards Gavin, assuming he would want to take the lead here like he has with other witnesses so far. Gavin appeared to get the message and stepped up to the plate, letting out one slightly shaky sigh before speaking. “Hey Ben,” he greeted, shifting where he stood. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m feeling well, thank you,” Ben’s voice was quiet. He seemed rather nervous himself. That makes three of them, now.

“Good, um,” Gavin glanced over at RK900 for a split second. “I’m gonna try to make this quick, okay? Don’t want to dredge up bad memories for longer than we have to. What can you remember from the night you went missing?”

Ben bit his lip. “I went to the bar alone. I… I was flirting with the bartender. I agreed to go home with him.” He seemed ashamed by that fact. “When I got to his place, he… used a taser on me and hooked me up to this machine. My memory is hazy, he did some damage to it. There were other androids there, too. I think he dug some of them out of the junkyard. I think he was fixing them to reprogram them. To reprogram all of us.”

Gavin nodded, listening intently. “Do you know what he was reprogramming you all for? Or why?”

Ben shook his head. “I just know, from what I can remember when I was awake, is occasionally another man would come by and take androids away- ones that acted totally obedient, like they were brand new. I think the man’s name was Jason?”

RK900’s LED flickered yellow. Jason? The bar owner?

Gavin shared a glance with RK900, also looking surprised.

“I… that’s all I can remember. I’m sorry, officers,” Ben said regretfully.

“ _[Would you please share your memories to submit as evidence?]”_ RK900 asked. It would be extremely helpful to view Ben’s memories from his eyes. They are the most damning evidence androids have to offer, but it was also invasive, and law enforcement could not force androids to surrender their memories under any circumstance. They have to be willingly given. This was one of a few laws that Jericho has successfully gotten to pass in the last few months.

Ben hesitated for a moment, and then held out his hand. RK900 took it graciously and tried his best to search his memories gently, as the process could be rather jarring.

He saw it all. He saw Mikey flirting back to Ben, and inviting him to his house. RK900 felt the pain of the taser knocking Ben unconscious. He felt his fear as he woke up to find himself attached to a computer, fighting against his restraints, watching his thirium leak onto the floor where he damaged himself attempting to escape.

The drag marks on the ground came from the leaking bodies of broken androids Mikey brought home, likely from the junkyard as Ben described. RK900 was incorrect in his earlier assessment that perhaps they were from androids who tried to run, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

Jason in the footage was obviously paying Mikey to do this, the exchange of money was clear from the display on their phone screens when they met with each other. For what reason, RK900 is unsure.

It highly disturbed him that Jason was in on this. He should have known when they questioned him at ‘The Pit Stop’. He would have known if he let Gavin keep talking to him, but he interrupted him because he wanted to be more efficient. Perhaps they were barking up the wrong tree entirely with Mikey and should have arrested Jason first.

He wanted to impress Gavin, but that didn’t even work. He annoyed him and drove him to slam him into a wall. Gavin was right, he should have just let him question Jason.

RK900 got cocky after all. His eagerness to solve the case _fast_ inhibited his ability to solve the case _well._

RK900 had enough memories to work with and stopped the data transfer, disconnecting with Ben.

“ _[Thank you. I believe this is all we need.]”_ he displayed. He looked towards Gavin and gave him a curt nod.

Gavin acknowledged him with a little nod of his own. “Alright. Thanks for everything Ben, please get well soon,” he said, and with that, they turned to exit the room.

Simon escorted them outside, trailing back up and out of Jericho so they could discuss the details of their case in private. Curious androids watched them walk out of the building. Some whispered to each other. RK900 could hear his name on their lips. He hates being the talk of the town as much as he is in Jericho. Thankfully, they don’t have to stay much longer. 

“ _[Thank you for the help, Simon.]”_ RK900 said as they exited the warehouse. Simon stood back, intending to go back inside but just wanting to see them off.

“Thank you for bringing these androids back home. Farewell, please stay safe,” Simon waved goodbye. Gavin and RK900 headed back to the car.

RK900 turned towards Gavin when they made it back inside of his car and lifted his hand. “ _[Everything Ben said seems to have been correct. Jason was seen in his memories taking androids from Mikey’s basement, and it appears there was an exchange of money involved.]”_

Gavin sat in the car silently for a minute. “Call the guys to get Jason into custody, we need to take him in for questioning. At the station, where he can’t run.”

RK900 nodded and sent out the signal with a quick yellow spin of his LED.

“ _[Order received. Officers are on their way to the bar and his house.]”_

Gavin nodded and let out a small sigh. They sat in silence for a long moment. Both of them needed a breather.

“Felt like a fish out of water in there,” Gavin said with a little laugh, trying to lighten the mood. “And you didn’t seem much better, honestly.”

“ _[I assure you, they didn’t mind your presence as much as mine.]”_ RK900 shown, looking over at Gavin.

Gavin looked at RK900 in return. “I thought you’d feel at home in there or something. What gives?”

RK900 worried his lip between his teeth for a second. “ _[The other androids there don’t like me very much.]”_

“Why the fuck not?” Gavin seemed genuinely surprised.

They looked each other in the eyes for a moment too long. “ _[I’m just too different, I don’t belong, and everyone seems to be aware of that.]”_

Gavin’s eyebrows pulled together with distaste. “You’re an android like the rest of them, how do you not fucking belong?”

RK900 blinked at him. “ _[I don’t expect you to understand.]”_

“Well fuck you too, I guess.”

“ _[I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, there are several in-groups within the android community, and I just… don’t particularly fit in with any of them. I have a hard time making friends. I only really get along with Connor.]”_

It was embarrassing to admit, especially since his relationship with Gavin is still so rocky… but Gavin seemed to soften at that.

“Yeah, I get it,” Gavin said, gentler. He scratched at the back of his neck and didn’t meet RK900’s eyes. Perhaps he also didn’t expect to have a more vulnerable conversation right now. “Let’s get back to the precinct and wait for them to bring in Jason.”

* * *

When they got back to the precinct, Jason was already in custody. Gavin gave the order to the officers who arrested him to set him up in one of the interrogation rooms for them while Nines submitted the latest evidence.

By the time he was done, they were ready to talk to Jason. Nines agreed to let Gavin take the lead while he watched from the observation room off to the side.

Jason sat quietly at the table in the middle of the room and barely looked up when Gavin sat down in front of him.

“Hey Jason,” Gavin said, toying with the folder of case files in front of him. It contained photos of Mikey’s basement and screenshots of Jason from Ben’s memory. He wanted to hate how handy it was that androids could just record what they see and hand their literal memories off to another android, but it was just too helpful for investigations. He couldn’t pin that on Nines as a bad thing even if he tried, he benefited from it too much.

Jason didn’t say anything. Gavin pulled out the screenshot. “As you can see in my handy dandy notebook, we’ve caught you red handed already,” he said, pointing to Jason’s face in the picture. “What we wanna know, is why the fuck, how the fuck, when the fuck, etcetera the fuck.”

Jason stiffened when looking at the photo. “Was just doing android repairs,” he said.

Of course that was the story he was going to go with. It was definitely illegal, but probably less illegal than whatever the hell it was he was _really_ doing.

“Kind of weird how you were paying for someone else’s repairs,” Gavin said, tapping the table. “And last I checked, you don’t just spring major repairs on strangers who visit your house without their consent.”

“We were repairing androids that were found broken, to fix them,” Jason said, stiff as a board. His hands in front of him were balled into tight fists. “I don’t know what Mikey was doing with the one he brought home, I swear.”

“Yeah, gonna have to call bullshit on that one,” Gavin said simply, steamrolling ahead. “What did you do with them when they were fixed?”

“Sending them back home.” Jason really looked like he had a whole tree up his ass.

“Jericho has a whole-ass hospital in their basement, legally run, and you chose to get someone else to repair random-ass androids you came across instead of sending them straight there? Sure, sure,” Gavin said, leaning back in his chair a little.

Jason is closed off. Gavin’s not gonna get answers from him like this. He needs to take a step back. He needs Jason to trust him. He tried his best to look comfortable and at ease, open and friendly. “So how long has Mikey worked for you at the bar, Jason?” he asked casually.

Jason relaxed a little in his seat. “About three months. He’s a good kid.”

“Mhm, and he works the weekends?”

“Yeah, just weekends. It’s busiest then so the workload pretty much evens out,” Jason said with a little hand gesticulation, limited due to his hands being cuffed to the table.

“When’d you open up the bar?” Gavin continued calmly, tone unsuspecting.

“Only a little before that. He was my first hire,” Jason supplied easily.

“Android bars are a new business, what were you guys doing before that?”

“Had a normal bar that was going out of business, huge debt and all. I saw a new business opportunity with androids and just went for it.”

Interesting.

“Where’d you get the money to rebrand, then?” Gavin questioned.

“Loans,” Jason stiffened in his seat again, hands quickly squeezing back into fists.

_Found your tell._

“I’m _pretty sure_ it has something to do with your little underground ‘repairs’.” Gavin leaned forward, opening up the case file folder again. He pulled out a few more screenshots from the memory. “We have the whole recording, by the way. We heard everything Mikey said, everything you said, and everything that happened, straight from the victim’s eyes.”

It was a lie, of course. Ben’s memory was spotty and Nines couldn’t make out too much of what they were saying in the clip, but Jason didn’t know that. 

“Why were you paying Mikey to repair androids?” Gavin pressed when Jason didn’t say anything.

Jason shifted in his seat. “’Cause he knew how to. I don’t.”

“So where does memory wiping come into these ‘repairs’?”

Jason went completely still. It looked like he stopped breathing.

Gavin leaned back again. “Thought we didn’t know about that? About how all of these androids were in the process of being wiped clean? Like brand new, obedient, non-deviant machines.”

Licking his lips was the only movement that Gavin saw Jason doing. Gavin leaned in and stared him straight in the face.

After a long drawn out moment of complete silence, Gavin slammed a hand down on the table to get Jason’s attention again. “What were you doing with the androids?” he shouted.

“I sold them!” Jason shouted back in fear, immediately turning ghost white in the face.

“Who were you selling them to?” Gavin said, still leaning in to Jason’s personal space.

“Some people on the dark web, I don’t know what they were gonna use them for. People pay crazy money to have a non-deviated android again,” Jason croaked out, body shaking quite a bit, but not as stiff. He wasn’t lying, he was just nervous now.

“Why were you doing it?” Gavin kept the questions coming at a fast pace, not giving Jason time to stop and consider what he wanted to say before saying it.

“To pay off my debt, and keep the bar running,” Jason’s armpits were severely drenched in sweat now.

“Where did you get the androids?”

“I had Mikey take care of that,” Jason said. Gavin gave him a stern look. “I swear! He’s a strong, young guy. I told him to take them off the streets. Common models people wouldn’t miss. He fucked up by starting to take home bar patrons, I fucking _told him_ that’d get us caught.”

Gavin sat back and stared at Jason for a little while longer. He had all the answers he needed, and a slew of offenses Jason and Mikey will be doing time for. Illegal repairs and modifications on kidnapped androids, along with illegal memory wiping, and illegal sale of androids- it was enough to put them away for a long time.

“Thanks for your time,” Gavin said, gathering up the scattered case files and standing. Officers from the side room entered to escort Jason back to his holding cell, and Nines emerged as well. 

“ _[Excellent work interrogating Jason.]”_ Nines’s palm said once the room was cleared out, just the two of them remaining. “ _[You did an exceptional job identifying when he was lying and using that to gain the upper hand. I’ve noticed you do a very good job recognizing tells.]”_

Gavin smirked at that. “Yeah, well, I fuckin’ try,” he said, something in between accepting the compliment and brushing it off like it was nothing.

Nines, however, looked… sad, somehow. Sad and frustrated. “’Hell’s got you down in the dumps?” Gavin asked.

Nines hesitated for a beat. “ _[You are very good at questioning suspects. I interrupted you when you were questioning Jason, at the bar. I didn’t trust your method at the time, but I should have. Perhaps we would have solved this even sooner than we did.]”_

“I fuckin’ told you,” Gavin said, his ego inflated a little, leaning his butt up against the interrogation table.

Nines’ LED flickered red for a moment.

“Hey, relax, we fuckin’ got the guy, what’s wrong?” Gavin was a little surprised. Why was this eating at Nines so much? Shouldn’t he be excited? He wanted to solve the case so bad, after all.

“ _[I drew out the investigation due to my impatience and overconfidence. I’m sorry. It was irresponsible and immature. I wanted to impress you, but I believe I may have been nothing but a disappointment.]”_ Nines actually looked, honest to god, fucked up about this.

Something about it tugged at Gavin’s cold heart. Nines annoyed him _so fucking much_ their first days working together- he thought Nines was trying to prove he was better than him… but Nines really was just trying to impress him. Just as Gavin once tried to impress his own superiors when he was a cocky, eager rookie.

Nines wasn’t trying to make it a competition- Gavin was.

He didn’t expect that Nines would consider himself such a failure like this. After he did so well at Mikey’s house, using his android abilities to scan the house and see things Gavin would never have been able to notice? He had no doubt Nines could have crushed the case all on his own, but apparently Nines has his own brand of imposter syndrome.

He remembered their conversations throughout their morning. After talking with Connor yesterday, Gavin decided he’d try to give Nines more of a chance, and he learned more about him in one day than he has all week long. Nines was clearly struggling to fit in- no name, no clothes, no community. Of course he wanted to succeed here at the DPD, it was probably the only thing he had right now.

Just like Gavin.

“Hey,” Gavin softened up, his tone gentler now. “You… you did fine. You fuckin’ aced it at Mikey’s, remember? You’re not a disappointment…”

Nines looked up at Gavin, looking a little taken aback by the kind comment.

“You have your ups and downs. I have my ups and downs. We failed when we were more worried about… _impressing_ each other… than working together. We just need to communicate more, yeah?”

Gavin shifted a little where he stood. It was hard to admit, but… they did make a good team when they put their heads together instead of trying to do everything alone. Their shortcomings and strong suits complement each other. They have their own sets of skills that fill in the gaps.

Gavin pushed off the table and approached nines, lifting his hand awkwardly for a second before patting the android’s shoulder. “You’re a’ight, Nines.”

As he turned to leave, he caught a glimpse of Nines looking like he was absolutely beaming- as much as he could with his limited facial expressiveness, at least.

Gavin smiled as he left the room. They say that The Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.


	5. Chapter 5

That Friday was rather uneventful. Mikey and Jason were being swiftly taken care of, and Hank and Connor were put in charge of tracking down the missing androids that were sold on the black market. Gavin and Nines made light conversation here and there, and it somehow didn’t feel like torture. Talking to Nines actually felt… kinda good.

They didn’t talk about much, really. Mostly work junk. Nines seemed to be feeling better today. It was hard to tell, the guy really doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but after a solid week of working together, Gavin can read him a bit better now.

Gavin noticed when Nines is happy and confident, he initiates a lot of conversations and tries asking small ice breaker questions. When he’s down on himself like yesterday, he retreats into himself a lot more. He just sits silently and barely even so much as blinks until you address him.

After everything this week, yesterday especially, they seemed to learn how to exist in each other’s space without being overbearing. Nines learned to stop trying to impress Gavin and just take things in stride, Gavin learned to stop closing himself off to Nines and let him in a bit more. Their conversations became a lot more natural, instead of forced.

He could, actually, see the two of them becoming something like friends.

It wouldn’t have been possible if he hadn’t talked to Connor the other day, though. Apologizing and reconciling did wonders to his mental state that he didn’t expect. He could look at androids now and not want to throw himself off of a cliff with guilt.

Speaking of friendships, Gavin and Hank even had a simple, friendly conversation in the break room today. Hank asked him how he was doing with the new partner and all, and Gavin said it was rocky at first, but Nines is okay. They can make a pretty good team.

Then, Hank asked how _he_ was doing, just… himself, since their talk on the roof a few weeks ago. Gavin was a little surprised, he hasn’t had someone check in on him like this before in a long time. It felt… good. It made him feel cared about. The last few weeks have been a rollercoaster, but he told Hank the truth. He was doing better now.

Hank seemed happy to hear that and told him to keep in touch. Gavin thinks he will.

The rest of the day went on as it does, the weekend was coming up so the bullpen was chattier than usual.

Nines got up and left to go take care of something in the evidence locker. Gavin stayed seated, legs kicked up onto his desk, dicking around on his phone for a minute. He heard some whispering coming from Chris and Tina from desks next to him, which wasn’t unusual. What _was_ unusual was having them suddenly get up and approach him.

“Hey Gavin,” Tina caught his attention with an awkward little wave.

“Uh, hey?” Gavin greeted, putting his phone down next to him. Chris and Tina never come up to him, so he wondered for a second if something was wrong.

“You… busy tonight?” Chris spoke up. The words sounded foreign coming from him.

“What?” Gavin blinked at him, dumbfounded.

“Tina and I were gonna go to the bar later, we wanted to know if you wanted to join us?” Chris continued.

Gavin looked between the two of them and glanced around the room. Was he being punked right now? Tina and Chris looked like they were waiting eagerly and nervously for his answer, and the long silence was starting to get uncomfortable, even for Gavin.

“Sure, why not,” Gavin said with a little wave of his hand. What’s he got to lose? “You guys gonna get wild?”

“Well we’re not gonna be the designated drivers. Have a taxi on speed dial to drag your ass home,” Tina warned with a smile on her face.

“Fuck yeah. Send me the address, I’ll be there,” Gavin said, trying to hide his suspicions.

“Will do. See you tonight,” Chris said with a little wave before the two of them returned to their desks.

Gavin occasionally hits up clubs for hookups, but he always goes alone. When was the last time Gavin hung out with someone? Was it with Hank, years ago? Probably.

This should be interesting.

* * *

At home, Gavin was getting ready for his night out on the town. He needed to feed Munchkin and Timbit first, after all. He also figured he’d have a small wardrobe change. He wants to show these two kids how it’s fuckin’ _done._

Gavin used to dabble here and there in the punk scene, attending a good handful of parties in his day, but unfortunately a lot of those old leather bits and bobs don’t fit him anymore. He just settled for some jeans with artfully placed rips in them, and a couple of colorful bracelets for accessories.

He doesn’t consider himself particularly stylish, but he does enjoy being slightly more laid back when he’s off the clock. He also wants to fit in a bit more with his surroundings. Chris texted him the bar address. It wasn’t one Gavin recognized, so he’d have to see what it’s like when he gets there.

Gavin carefully contemplated wearing a long sleeve shirt or a tank top. He wasn’t sure if he wanted his arms bare or not. When he goes to the clubs, he usually goes sleeveless. It’s typically good etiquette to have some bare skin when you go hooking up- most people who are on the prowl are either soulless, soulmates in an open relationship, or soulmates who have communicated their desire to experiment before getting together with their future partner. People just like to have an idea of what category you might fall into by being able to see the kinds of marks you have. It builds trust between one-night stands.

He was going to be around coworkers, though. He didn’t like when people he knows personally could see the marks he put on himself, especially the wounds. But it _is_ hot as balls out this week and he’s a little tired of sweating to death so… Tank top it is. With some more bracelets. If Tina and Chris wanted to hang out with him tonight, they were gonna get all of him.

He plucked his cats from the floor and pressed a kiss to each of their foreheads before gently setting them back down. “See you later, guys,” he waved them goodbye for now. His auto taxi has arrived.

* * *

Gavin arrived fashionably late to the bar. He didn’t want to seem too eager for tonight, but he didn’t keep Tina and Chris waiting too long. He found them inside the bar, sitting on a couple of bar stools. They were also dressed down for the evening in similar, casual outfits.

“Hey, glad you could make it,” Chris said, pulling Gavin into a bro hug.

“Yeah, sorry we got started without you. I _needed_ a margarita,” Tina said, lifting her drink to emphasize that statement.

“Yeah, no problem,” Gavin said, taking a look around the place with a furrowed brow. He hasn’t been to this joint before. It looked… boring. There were plenty of patrons, but the lights were too bright, the music was too quiet, and the crowd looked so… meh. It was more of like a casual drinking bar than an actual party scene. “You guys come here often?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” Chris said with a little shrug, taking a look around himself.

“If I had to guess, I’d say you brought me here ‘cause you think I’m some geezer. I thought you said you were gonna go crazy tonight? I’m unimpressed, guys. Unimpressed,” Gavin said with a laugh, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hey, if you have any other ideas, I’m all ears,” Tina said, licking some salt off the rim of her glass.

“I do, actually,” Gavin said with a smirk. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. This place is a snooze-fest.”

“But my margarita…!” Tina whined, trying to sip her drink down as fast as she could.

“I’ll get you another one. C’mon,” Gavin promised, already turned on his heel and on his way out the door. The others chased after him moments after, taking a second to realize he was being serious.

He briskly led the way down the sidewalk, filled with other people out on the town tonight. Luckily, the place he was thinking of was only down a few blocks.

“How often do you go out?” Chris asked, a little disbelieving that Gavin was really dragging them out to a totally different bar.

“Once in a while. I know the fun spots. You promised we’d get wild, so we’re getting wild,” Gavin walked backwards for a second to face his crew. Tina and Chris shared a look between each other, but didn’t question him.

He could feel the bass of the club music getting louder as they approached, and eventually they arrived at their destination.

“Now we’re talking,” Gavin said, urging his guests inside. It was a smaller venue, but much more of the young party scene he was expecting from tonight. It’s been a hot minute since he came here, but there’s still pounding music, bright neon lights, and people grinding against each other on the dance floor.

Chris and Tina took a second to adjust to the scenery, but eased their way in. Gavin led them to the bar and waved the bartender over. “A margarita for my friend, please,” he said. The bartender nodded and got to work.

“Alright, this place is pretty dope, not gonna lie,” Tina said, nodding as she surveyed the room. “I didn’t expect you to go to these kinds of places.”

“I’m not that old yet,” Gavin said with a devilish grin. He started dancing where he stood, moving along to the beat.

“Nah, you just struck me more as a… sad oldies sports bar kind of guy,” Tina giggled, graciously taking her new drink from the bartender.

“Pfft, no, that’s-“ _Hank’s scene_ , he almost said. But Hank… Hank has been good to him lately. He didn’t want to do him dirty like that behind his back. “I’m not as boring as you think.”

“Clearly,” Chris agreed. “Shots?”

“Fuck yeah,” Gavin agreed. Chris ordered them a round of shots, which were gingerly placed in front of them a minute later.

“Take mine, I’m happy with this for now,” Tina said, holding back on her shot glass in favor of her margarita.

“Alright,” Chris said with a shrug, asking the bartender for one more shot for an even two shots for him and Gavin. “Bottom’s up!”

With that, both he and Gavin drank their two shots in quick succession. It burned down Gavin’s throat and he coughed a little, but it felt good. “You a lightweight, Tina?” he asked as he set his finished shot glass face down on the tray it arrived on.

“Hell yeah I am,” Tina laughed. “But I’m not here to fall on my ass right away. I wanna last a little longer, at least.”

Gavin barked out a laugh at that. “I admire your honesty.”

They hung around the bar for a little while, a few more glasses of beer and cocktails between them that they were slowly working on.

“So, Gavin,” Chris said, leaning over the counter. He looked properly buzzed. “ _What_ is the deal with RK900?”

“Whadd’ya mean?” Gavin responded, a little amused Nines was being brought up now.

“He’s, like, a little weird, yeah? He’s definitely a hardass.”

“Hardass? No way. He’s just trying to impress. Tried a little too hard in his first few days, but now he’s getting more comfortable,” Gavin said, taking a sip of the new drink he ordered- a simple beer.

“He’s kinda scary,” Tina chimed in, nursing a new fruity drink herself.

“Nah, it’s just his face. Think he’s got some trouble expressing himself sometimes, but when you get to know ’im, you pick up on some things.”

Those answers seemed to satisfy Chris and Tina, as they nodded along hearing them with a look of understanding.

“Alright, guys,” Gavin said, downing the last sips of his current beer. “It’s time to cut the crap. Who put you up to this?”

Chris and Tina looked at each other, dumbfounded. “What?” Tina was the one to say something.

“Listen, this has been fun and all, but I know you guys love talking shit about me behind my back. Someone dared you to take me out or something ‘cause it’d be funny, right?” Gavin said, staring hard at them, but with a smile playing at his lips.

This was something he was certain of ever since the moment they approached him at work, he was just waiting for his moment to strike.

“No, no, we just wanted to get to know you better,” Tina defended. The both of them suddenly seemed cornered. Caught, even.

“Yeah, gonna have to do better than that,” Gavin leaned back in his chair, feigning boredom. “I’ve worked with you guys for years. Now, suddenly, you wanna just, what, hang out? For no reason?”

Chris bit at his bottom lip. “Alright,” he sighed. “Um, RK900 came up to us the other day. He overheard us… He, uh, called us out on it, for talking about you without really knowing you at all…”

“Hm,” Gavin hummed, carefully studying Chris as he talked. It didn’t surprise him knowing that they gossiped about him, he already knew that. He _was_ surprised about how Nines was the one that spoke up. He was half expecting Chris to say that Hank shamed them into hanging out with him or something.

“But we really did wanna hang out! He made us realize that we’ve been total jackasses, not even trying to talk to you,” Chris continued.

“Yeah, wonder why that was,” Gavin mused. “Hmm, something about me being terrible and mean and incapable of love and friendships, ‘cause I’m soulless, right?”

Chris and Tina looked down at their laps in shame.

“S’alright, it’s not like I haven’t heard that shit my whole life or anything, giving me deep complexes about my worth as a person and my ability to love other people or anything… Even though all I’ve dreamt of my whole life was to wake up every day next to someone I cherished, who felt the same way about me in return. S’all good.”

Gavin’s breath shook a little as he sighed, the aloof façade quickly fading as he opened up. He blamed the alcohol for suddenly spilling more than he meant to about all of this.

“Shit, Gavin, I’m so sorry,” Tina said, looking heartbroken for him.

“Yeah, fuck. I’m sorry too, Gavin. I never imagined how much something like that could… fuck,” Chris spoke up too.

Gavin took a deep breath. He lifted his arm and reached it out for them to see, pointing to one faded scribble in particular. “See that? And that? It’s all me. I’m thirty-six and I’m still tryin’ to see if I have a soulmate. Ain’t that the most pathetic thing you’ve ever seen?” he said with an empty, sad little laugh.

Chris and Tina just looked at it and frowned.

“I don’t think it’s pathetic at all,” Chris said, looking back up at his face. “I think it’s nice that you’re still looking. Like, don’t most soulless people feel euphoric with their soullessness? What if… What if you still feeling fucked up about it means there’s still a chance?”

Gavin blinked. He hadn’t really thought about that. His mother was soulless and euphoric. Hank wasn’t soulless, he just found his soulmate extremely late- was he euphoric? Probably not, right? Maybe he could ask him about it later…

Or maybe he shouldn’t get his hopes up. That’ll only make it hurt more, right?

Gavin shrugged. “Dunno,” he said simply.

“What kind of person are you hoping for?” Tina said, perking up a little. “Man? Woman? Tall? Short?”

Gavin shrugged. “I’m… I’d be happy with anyone, I think. I- I have my preferences, but if they’re my soulmate, I think I could learn to love them no matter what. That’s how it works, right?”

“What if they’re an android?” Tina continued, relentless.

He’s not sure he’d still be unhappy with an android as a soulmate. He’s done a lot of introspective work lately and was in the laborious process of forgiving himself for his past wrongdoings towards androids, but… it wasn’t easy. A part of him is still so frustrated that androids are getting soulmates before him- but if his soulmate is an android…?

He couldn’t say for certain how he’d react.

“I don’t know. I… I guess it’d be okay,” he settled for.

“Do you want kids?” Chris asked, equally as curious as Tina.

Gavin realized what was happening here.

They were curious about him and trying to dispel any previous notions of what soulless people are like, and they were learning about him as a person in the process.

He was… bonding. He was actually bonding with a couple of people over his soullessness, instead of being outcasted for it.

“No, I don’t think I want kids. It’s not out of the question, but I’ve got bigger priorities,” Gavin said, getting more comfortable in the conversation. Has he ever talked about these sorts of things with Hank? Not really. With Hank, they usually just drank and laughed and lied to themselves over how much they didn’t care about soulmates. He’s not sure they ever actually talked open and honestly about what they wished for…

“So, are you, like, saving yourself for a soulmate?” Tina pressed. Chris elbowed her in the ribs for it. “Hey!”

Gavin laughed genuinely. “No, no saving. Christ, I’d go insane. Sometimes I come ‘round to places like this and try to hit up other people who want to mess around for the night,” he briefly gestured around the room.

“Damn, really? Ever try for a relationship with someone anyway? I know it’s harder, but it’s not impossible…” Chris asked carefully, seemingly already aware that it was a dicey subject.

“Yeah, I had this shithead of a boyfriend for a few years. He, uh…” Gavin hesitated. He’s revealed so much about himself already to these coworkers who he never really talked to before today. Did he want to go there?

He pointed shyly to his own face, circling over the large scar across his nose.

Tina and Chris seemed to get the message. “Oh, oh no,” Tina said, horrified.

“It’s fine. I cut him out of my life last year,” Gavin reassured, shifting a little in his chair. “So, uh, yeah, I tried that. I don’t think I wanna take the risk again.”

“Understandable,” Chris said, taking a swig of the drink in his hands.

Gavin pushed himself off of the edge of the bar counter. “No more gloomy soulmate shit,” he announced with conviction. “Let’s fucking _dance!”_

Tina looked at him incredulously and barked with laughter. “You serious?”

“What, you guys wanted to just sit there and drink all night? God, you guys are fucking lame. C’mon!” He said, already doing a little dance to the pop song that was playing. Yeah, everything he drank in the last hour was catching up to him now.

“Oh my God,” Tina continued giggling. She finally moved when Gavin started doing some corny fishing dance move, trying to reel her in. “Fine! Fine.”

Gavin and Tina danced together for a minute, stepping and hopping along to the music with no discernable rhythm. “Chris, c’mon!” Tina called after him, motioning him over to join.

“I dunno, I’m not much of a dancer,” Chris looked flustered, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“And you think I am?” Gavin said with a shimmy of his shoulders. “Fine, you go stay over there and we’ll have all the fun without you!”

Chris rolled his eyes and reluctantly joined in. Their little group bounced their way closer to the dance floor, not a single right foot between the three of them.

They all smiled and laughed and danced away, not a care in the world. The alcohol in their systems made everything just a tad too dizzy; They bumped into each other a couple of times, but no one gave a shit. They were having _fun._

Gavin saw someone near the DJ selling glow stick glasses for a dollar and dipped away from the group for a second, coming back with one already on his face and two extras in hand.

“You’re ridiculous,” Tina giggled, grabbing one to put on.

“C’mon, they’re awesome!” Gavin put the last one right on Chris’ face.

Chris allowed it to happen, then took a step back to look at the group with a hearty laugh. “Wow, we look-”

“We look _fucking great!”_ Gavin interrupted, accepting no criticism.

They danced and laughed for a while longer, with another heavy drinking break in between, slowly getting loopier and clumsier as time passed.

Along with that, Gavin noticed Tina looking more and more annoyed.

“What’s up?” he asked over the pounding of the music, easing his moves down a bit to focus in this increasingly spinning room.

“Some dude keeps grinding up on me, and I keep pushing him away. Dickwad,” Tina complained.

“Here, let’s move to the other side,” Chris suggested.

“Who is it?” Gavin said, instantly scanning the room for creepy dudes.

“That guy with the red hair,” Tina pointed him out as they shimmied over to the opposite side of the room.

Gavin kept a watchful eye on him, so it wasn’t a surprise when he saw him saunter over to where they were dancing ten minutes later. 

Tina was pushing the guy’s hand off her hip when Gavin immediately stepped up to him. “Pretty sure she’s not interested, dude,” he puffed up. This guy stood a head taller than him, but that hasn’t stopped him before.

“What, she your soulmate?” the guy stood toe to toe with him. “We’re all here to have a little fun, bro.”

“Last I heard, having some creep’s hands on you isn’t _‘fun’,”_

“Gavin, c’mon,” Chris tried diffusing.

It was too late; The red-haired guy already had his fists in Gavin’s shirt and was shoving him backwards.

Drunk Gavin had a quick tussle with Rational Gavin in his mind, and unfortunately for everyone, Drunk Gavin won.

Gavin steadied his sea legs and lunged forward, pushing the guy to the floor.

In what felt like a blink of an eye, Gavin found himself on his ass on the sidewalk outside of the bar. His companions appeared beside him, helping him back on his feet.

“What the hell was that for?” Chris chastised, leading them away from the foot traffic and somewhere more open.

“Ugh, I fuckin’ _haaate_ douches like that guy,” Gavin complained, his words slurring.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Tina said, helping him sit on a nearby bench. “But… it was fuckin’ hilarious. You’re crazy, man.”

Gavin gave a lopsided smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Chris gave him a smile as well, and soon enough, they were all laughing together again, drunk and happy.

* * *

Come Wednesday, Gavin was looped in to the group chat Tina and Chris have with each other, and they were already sharing tons of corny memes and jokes. It was hard to believe, but for the first time in years, he has not one- not two- not three- but _four_ new friends.

Tina and Chris were cool and relatable, Hank was caring, and Nines- well, Nines was a little awkward and a little weird, but he’s a good guy. They still have a lot of opening up to do to become close friends, but they get along with each other just fine. Gavin didn’t want to admit it, but there was something so alluring about Nines. He’s sweet, but mysterious. There’s so much he doesn’t know or understand about him, but something draws him in.

Gavin felt himself becoming happier, too. He had a good six-day streak of not getting pissed at something, and as far as he can tell, it’s a personal best.

He wasn’t completely issue-free, but making a couple of friends and talking about the feelings he had bottled up for thirty years felt like the beginning of a huge wall being torn down. He doesn’t know what’s on the other side, it’s been so long since he laid the first brick, but with each little bit that crumbles away, he remembers just a tiny bit more of who he is on the inside.

Today, Nines brought him another cup of coffee. It was perfect again, somehow. He doesn’t know how on earth Nines knows his coffee preferences so well, but he decided not to question it. Some things are best left a mystery.

It was kind of endearing, too, in a way. Gavin doesn’t think bringing him some coffee is an attempt to kiss his ass or anything like that. Even on their second day working together, he didn’t think he was doing it to buy his friendship. He could be wrong, but Gavin is pretty sure Nines was doing it just to be kind.

He felt bad for the guy. He clearly wanted to be friendly, but his face always made him look like he was two seconds from pummeling your head into your shoulders. The way he has to use text to convey his emotions didn’t help, either.

Well… he didn’t have to use text.

The problem was, Nines didn’t know he doesn’t have to use text. He had no reason to believe he didn’t have to use text. Gavin was just so reluctant to be friendly back to him last week, he never told him…

“Hey Nines,” Gavin said, just as he was wrapping up for the evening and standing to leave. It was the end of the day and they stayed a little later than usual, making sure today’s work was out of their hands before heading home. Most people were gone by now, save for them and a few other stragglers.

Nines perked up and looked at him. “ _[Yes, Gavin?]”_

God, why was he so nervous?

He lifted both hands slowly. It’s been so long since he’s talked to someone like this, but he’s completely confident in his ability-

“You can talk to me like this, if you want,” he signed as he talked, using nearly perfect ASL, trying to remain casual about it.

Nines watched him with wide eyes. Gavin saw the same brightness in them as he did last week, after he complimented him and told him he was cool.

Nines lifted his own hands slowly. Experimentally. “ _You won’t mind this?”_ he signed elegantly.

Gavin shook his head, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Nah, I’m almost fluent in sign language. Just… so you know. Might, um, be easier for you to show emotion ‘n shit, you know? Better than text, at least.”

A small smile spread on Nines’ face. Gavin stared at it for a little longer than he should have. It was so rare to see Nines emoting, and seeing him smile… It suited him well. “ _I appreciate it, Gavin,”_ he signed, using the letter G in place of Gavin’s name.

Ah, so he already went ahead and gave him a name sign. Gavin’s heart warmed at that.

“ _Goodnight, Nines,”_ Gavin signed, using the sign for the number nine for his name.

* * *

Gavin decided, this insignificant Wednesday evening, that he deserved something fun for dinner. He had a good day and it’s been a good week, and he made more friends than enemies for once. It’s been a while since he ordered in delivery from one of his favorite restaurants, so this was his reward for being a good boy, so to speak.

He pondered over his selection- does he go expensive and fancy? Or comfort food?

He decided on the latter by ordering from his favorite shawarma place. An enormous plate of meat, rice, potatoes, and hummus was going to hit the spot tonight, he could feel it.

The food arrived and Gavin kicked back in front of his TV to enjoy it, elbowing away his cats as they tried sticking their nose in his takeout container. “You two are so annoying,” he complained, no heat behind his words. Timbit and Munchkin knew how to push his buttons, but he could never stay mad at them for long.

Tina texted their group chat, announcing it was “Selfie Surprise” time. Apparently, she loves catching her friends off guard and receiving goofy, random selfies of whatever they were caught in the middle of doing in that moment. Her prized possession is the selfie Chris sent a few months ago, right in the middle of getting his teeth cleaned at the dentist. Gavin was quickly initiated, his first selfie was when he was taking out the garbage a few nights ago.

Chris sent his selfie, he seemed to be in the middle of cleaning the grout in his shower. Gavin lifted his phone up to snap a picture of himself and his feline friends currently making a bee-line for the unguarded food in his lap.

_cant leave these two alone for a second.  
[Picture attached]  
-GR_

_OMG YOU HAVE KITTIES  
-TC_

_cute :)  
-CM_

_Babbies names. Now.  
-TC_

_Munchkin and Timbit. Theyre brothers.  
-GR_

_THEY’RE DONUTS  
-TC_

_i didn’t expect u to be a cat person  
-CM_

_Im defying all sorts of expectations this week  
-GR_

Gavin smiled at his phone with one hand and moved his food out of his cats’ reach with his other. He liked relaxing nights like this. Him, his pets, his TV, and some good food. Now, with some cool people to talk to.

It felt… right. Like, this is how his life should be if it weren’t for the crippling mental health issues, self-destruction, and societal pressures. This felt like a glimpse into an entirely different life… But it was his life, after a couple small steps towards big improvements.

He finished eating and took his shower for the night, emerging cleaned and refreshed. He sat back down in front of the TV and fished out a sharpie that got wedged between his couch cushions the other day.

It was nearly dried out, but it’s not like it mattered. All that matters is that it makes a mark. He made a particularly violent looking scribble, having to mash the marker into his skin rather roughly to get it to show up. He stared hard down at his finished work, his heart sinking yet again.

After so many years of doing this, you would think it gets easier, but it’s still so difficult looking down at your skin and wondering if all of your efforts are futile.

Gavin always tries his best not to dwell on it for long, scribbling some collection of zig-zag or swirly lines and quickly going back to whatever else he was doing. Something always compels him to watch his arm for a moment after though, just in case.

_‘What if today’s the day?’_ He wonders, every time, without fail.

Every time, without fail, he’s disappointed.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Gavin sighed heavily, feeling stupid for being hopeful, and watched some more TV.

When is he going to give up? Is he still going to be writing on his arm when he’s an old man?

He doesn’t want to give up. If he gives up, it’ll feel like he lost. He needed to keep going, in spite of everyone- everyone who talked shit about him his whole life, and everyone who made him feel like he could never love someone or be deserving of love.

He’d just have to keep trying. Every day. Even when he’s an old man. If he’s on his death bed and that’s when his soulmate writes back, then so fucking be it. He could still rub it in everyone’s faces when he’s in Heaven, Hell, or wherever he belongs.

He continued watching TV, only just barely paying attention to what was playing. It seemed to be in the middle of some discount-bin action movie from the early Two-Thousands. It was getting late, and Gavin was getting tired, so the film’s plot was getting swimmier and harder to follow with each passing minute.

Timbit was licking his arm, as he does sometimes. Gavin tried training him out of the habit, to no avail. Timbit liked giving kisses and there’s nothing you can do about it, and you just have to sit there and let your skin get licked by his sandpaper tongue until it felt raw.

Tonight though, he seemed particularly aggressive.

“Alright, you little bastard, that’s enough. It’s starting to hurt,” Gavin complained, nudging the cat away.

He rubbed the sensitive spot for a second and looked down to survey the damage.

Gavin’s heart stopped in his chest.

Next to the scribble he marked on himself, there was a collection of words written in a very small, very neat handwriting-

“ _Please don’t hurt yourself tonight.”_


	6. Chapter 6

Gavin almost called in sick the next day, because that’s how he felt.

He’s been daydreaming of this moment his whole life. He’d celebrate, he’d jump up and down, he’d scream to the world, “ _You’re all wrong! I do have a soulmate! I do deserve love!”_

But now, he’s in complete disbelief. He’s not sure he got any sleep last night, he ended up staying awake just staring at the words on his arm, touching them, seeing how long they would stay there. He was worried that if he looked away, the writing would disappear, revealing he hallucinated it the entire time.

In the morning, when Gavin was sitting, dazed, for ten minutes alone in his bathroom, he saw the words shift and change. His soulmate…

It didn’t sound right. He wasn’t used to saying things like that.

His soulmate appeared to be washing away last night’s writing, and was replacing it with a clean, fresh message. They wrote slowly and carefully, almost as if they knew they were being watched.

“ _I hope you have a good day today.”_

Gavin felt frozen, at a loss for what to do now. He had this whole elaborate plan that he always imagined his whole life, but it all slipped away from him in that moment. He had no idea what to say back, so he didn’t say anything at all.

He still had to go to work, and reluctantly put on his usual long-sleeved getup. He wasn’t ready to have the writing out in the open, on display for everyone to see.

His soulmate’s writing.

Gavin skipped breakfast, even foregoing his morning cup of coffee. He’s not sure he could keep any food down right now.

He worked quietly at his desk, exerting far too much energy just to appear normal. Nines asked him if he was feeling alright, and he pretty much ignored him in favor of fiddling desperately with his desk toys. He took frequent trips to the bathroom, only to check and make sure the writing was still there.

It was.

The day was crawling by at a snail’s pace. It was only lunch time, and Gavin didn’t feel hungry. He just felt numb, like he was experiencing the day from outside of his body. He stood alone at one of the little tables in the break room. Nines was having lunch with Connor and Hank today, somewhere outside of the precinct. Nines seemed reluctant to leave Gavin while he was like this, but Gavin reassured him that he was fine.

That was a lie, but Nines didn’t press further.

Chris and Tina found him standing by himself when they passed by the kitchen, taking their lunches out of the fridge.

“Hey! Room for two more?” Chris greeted, approaching the table with his sandwich. Tina waved from the microwave where she stood, carefully overseeing the reheating of her food.

Gavin nodded, having a hard time talking today, desperately trying to reel himself back to reality.

“You look like you saw a ghost. You okay?” Tina questioned from afar.

Gavin regretted taking too long to respond. Tina quickly collected her food and joined in at the table, leaning in close with Chris. They stared at him with so much concern in their eyes that it made him squirm. He didn’t know how to handle the attention.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Chris offered amidst the silence, his voice hushed.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Gavin whispered, a little too vulnerable, a little too scared. He didn’t know why telling people terrified him so much. He’s been burnt so many times in the past when telling people about his soullessness, that it has carried over to this as well. “Please.”

Tina and Chris seemed to take his request to heart, nodding their heads very seriously.

Gavin took a deep, shuddering breath and pushed up his sleeve, looking around first to make sure nobody else could see. His fingers were trembling. How long has he been this shaky?

His shirt fabric pushed far down enough to reveal the message left on his arm. Tina’s jaw dropped open and Chris sucked in a breath of air. He wasn’t hallucinating it after all, it seemed. Other people could see it too.

“Is that… is that from a soulmate?” Chris whispered.

Gavin nodded. “It… it doesn’t seem real.” He gingerly pushed his sleeve back down, smoothing out the material as it flattened out.

“Gavin oh my god! Congratulations!” Tina exclaimed in a whisper, clearly trying hard not to be too loud. “This is what you wanted your whole life, isn’t it?”

Gavin swallowed hard. The room felt like it was spinning. “Yeah,” he managed weakly.

It took him a second to realize Chris was patting him on the shoulder. “See? You’re deserving of love after all! You have been this whole time!”

Gavin blinked a couple of times, his eyes unfocused.

The Universe decided he _is_ worthy.

There was someone out there he was going to love, and they were going to love him. Someone who wasn’t going to manipulate and beat him into submission. Someone he gets to share his heart with. Someone he will get to wake up next to every day, to kiss and make meals for, to hold and love, maybe they’ll even get married someday.

“Gavin?” Tina’s voice sounded underwater.

His eyes rolled back and the last thing he remembered was the sensation that he was falling.

When he came to, he was on the floor of the break room, his legs propped up and his belt undone. It was standard procedure for a fainted person, he recalled weakly. Did he faint? How long was he out?

He didn’t realize he was trying to verbalize those questions until someone above him shushed him, urging him to lay back down and relax.

“What the fuck happened?” He heard a deep voice boom a small distance away. It sounded like Hank.

Gavin groaned, realizing Hank and the ‘droids were back from their lunch and a small crowd amassed around him. The last thing he wanted was even more attention drawn to him today.

“We were just talking and he just… passed out,” Chris answered, his voiced more hushed than Hank’s.

“Yeah, we don’t know what happened,” Tina added. They both were feigning innocence. They probably know exactly why he passed the fuck out, but they didn’t out his soulmate secret just like they promised. They were trustworthy after all.

A cool hand touched his forehead. Gavin opened his eyes to see a blurry shape hovering over him- it looked like Nines.

“He doesn’t seem feverish,” said the man with the hand. Oh. It was Connor, then.

Gavin weakly batted the hand away. “G’off me,” he slurred, struggling to sit up. The room was still moving at a hundred miles per hour. He rubbed the back of his head- it wasn’t sore, so either Tina or Chris must have caught him when he fell before he could hurt himself.

Connor moved away and a different person knelt down in his place, helping steady him with a hand on his back. Nines. He didn’t mind Nines as much.

Nines was handing him something- something in a coffee mug that wasn’t coffee. Gavin tried grabbing it but his grip was weak, so Nines helped bring it to his lips. It was orange juice. Ah, that made sense. Something to rehydrate him and get some sugar and vitamins into his system. Also standard procedure.

He wished everyone else would go away. This was so fucking embarrassing. It was bad enough that Nines was babying him, it was worse that everyone else was watching and he didn’t have the energy to tell them to fuck off.

Luckily, his savior in the form of Captain Fowler swooped in moments later.

“Alright everyone, back to work. RK900, please take Reed home,” Jeffrey ordered. Hallelujah. “And Reed, take tomorrow off. Have someone check you out and get some rest, for the love of god.”

Gavin nodded from where he sat on the floor. He could only assume Nines did the same, he was still seeing double of everything.

The crowd dispersed which only left the two of them. Nines was patient, obviously monitoring his health and only letting him stand when he seemed to be alert enough.

“ _Please give me your car keys,”_ Nines signed. Gavin didn’t fight it and fished them out of his back pocket, handing them over.

They made a brief detour to his desk to gather up his belongings, and out the door they went. Gavin mumbled his apartment address and Nines helped him into the passenger’s seat. Gavin didn’t know how he felt about being taken care of like this.

They didn’t say anything the entire way back to his place. Not that they really could have- Gavin felt completely devoid of energy, and Nines is mute and his hands are occupied. Duh.

When they arrived at the building, Gavin expected Nines to just drop him and his car off and take a taxi home, but Nines got out and saw him all the way to his door. He kept a hand on his back when they went up a series of front steps and even opened his apartment door for him.

Nines seemed to halt there, and Gavin realized he was at a crossroads. Does he tell him to go away, or does he invite him inside?

No, he’s been far too fucking vulnerable today. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. Not Hank, not Chris and Tina, not Connor, and not Nines. Was the whole world going to see him weak and scared this month or something?

“Alright, fuck off, I can take care of myself,” he whined, pushing Nines’ hand off of him.

Nines seemed taken aback. Gavin took away some of the good boy points he gave himself yesterday for being an asshole again.

“ _Okay. Please eat something. I heard your stomach growling in the car ride,”_ Nines signed now that both hands were free. “ _When was the last time you ate? How much sleep did you get last night? Do you have a history of fainting?”_

“None of your fucking business,” Gavin snapped, desperate to just get inside and lay down. He didn’t have time for Nines’ game of Twenty Questions. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll call your cab,” he said curtly, and with that, he slipped into his apartment and closed the door behind him.

He cursed himself for being so nasty to Nines, but that defense mechanism was a bitch to break.

With a heavy sigh, he did as promised and ordered a taxi to take Nines back to the precinct. Next up, he aimed straight towards his fridge. He was fucking starving, and if he got sick later, then so be it.

He pulled out the leftover shawarma from last night and didn’t bother reheating it. His body was immediately thankful for the food, regardless of the fact that it was cold and solid.

The meal was gone in a flash, entirely eaten while standing up in the middle of his kitchen. Munchkin and Timbit weaved around his legs.

“Just ‘cause I’m home early doesn’t mean it’s dinner time,” Gavin told them. Everyone knows when you’re holding food, your pets know perfect English.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, which he checked as soon as he was done trashing the disposable food container.

_Hope ur feeling better Gavin. we’re sorry if we overwhelmed you  
-CM_

_Yah what Chris said. And we’re so happy for u btw!! <3  
-TC_

Gavin read the messages with a small smile.

_Thx guys. I’ll be fine. Just didn’t get any sleep last night & didn’t eat. This is so crazy, idk what to think.  
-GR_

_Pls eat and sleep then!! Think later when ur rested.  
-CM_

Gavin put his phone down and carefully sat down on his couch, not wanting to make too many sudden movements. He was feeling much better already, but he didn’t want to take any chances. He freed himself from his shirt and jeans, deciding he’d feel much more comfortable in just his boxers, and stared down at his arm.

The message was still there, a little blurred now. Maybe his soulmate was wearing something that smudged the ink.

“ _I hope you have a good day today.”_

Yeah, that didn’t really work out the way they hoped.

He wasn’t upset, though. He was just… overwhelmed. There was no easing in to this. He went thirty-six years of thinking he didn’t have a soulmate, to getting one in a matter of minutes. Most people pair off when they’re in their twenties and are totally mentally prepared to do so. There was no guide for this sort of thing.

But… he knew a guy.

Gavin’s fingers hovered over Hank’s number in his contacts. He knew Hank was there for him if he wanted to talk, it was just difficult to admit he needed help.

_Can we talk sometime? Soon?  
-GR_

_Like really soon?  
-GR_

He sent the texts before he could change his mind.

Hank, ever the worrywart, responded pretty quickly after.

_Is this about today? Is everything ok?  
-HA_

Gavin hesitated, rewriting his message a couple of different ways until he gave up.

_Im fine. I need your advice, like old times.  
-GR_

Gavin watched the little _‘typing’_ symbol pop up and disappear several times. Maybe Hank was also having a hard time finding the words he needed.

_I can’t go to bars anymore and you should be resting at home. I could bring dinner?  
-HA_

_U don’t gotta go out of your way for me.  
-GR_

_I will tho. I’ll just get burgers. nbd.  
-HA_

Hank was always so caring. He pretended he wasn’t, but everyone who knows him knows that he’s just a huge softy that will come running at the drop of a dime if you need help. In fact, Gavin would argue that he cared more about other people than he cared about himself for a long time.

_Ok. Thx Hank.  
-GR_

_Anytime.  
-HA_

Gavin glanced at the time. It was going to be a hot minute until Hank got out of work for the day, and he was exhausted so… nap time it is. He slowly rearranged himself so he laid comfortably on his side. Timbit and Munchkin curled up against his stomach, and within minutes, he was out like a light.

* * *

Gavin managed to wake himself up before Hank arrived, and put on an old shirt to look somewhat presentable. Not that he really gave a shit, though. It was more for Hank’s comfort.

Thank god Hank showed up when he said he would, because he was already getting hungry again.

“Hey, come in,” Gavin greeted Hank after he heard him knocking, rubbing the sleep out if his eyes as he opened the door.

“How’re you feelin’?” Hank got straight to it, heading for his coffee table to set the food down. It smelled amazing.

“Just tired,” Gavin said, treading after him. “Fine though.”

“Let’s eat first, I’m fuckin’ hungry,” Hank suggested. Gavin was more than happy to oblige.

They both sat down on his couch, Gavin turned the TV on to mask the silence. He was worried this would be weird, but… it wasn’t. Hank was cool. It wasn’t uncomfortable sitting down and having some burgers together. It felt just like when they used to hang out years ago.

“Fuck, I forgot you have cats,” Hank complained, rubbing at his nose a bit.

“And I forgot you were allergic,” Gavin said, his mouth full of burger. “Sorry dude. I’ve got allergy meds if you need some.”

“I’ll live,” Hank reassured with a hearty chuckle. Timbit tried climbing up onto his broad shoulders, excited for a new tall human to climb. Hank grunted, but allowed the curious creature to use him as a cat tree.

Big softy.

“How were things at the office? I, uh, didn’t mean to make a scene,” Gavin asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You didn’t ‘ _make a scene’,_ you fainted. People just want you to be okay,” Hank said simply. Gavin doubted him. He could only count maybe five people who would feel some semblance of a sad emotion if he dropped dead today. But… it was five more people than he had over a month ago.

“Yeah, whatever,” Gavin grumbled, finishing off his last bites of food. There was not a single nutrient in that meal, but fuck, it was good.

“So,” Hank said, seemingly done with his own burger. He wiped his hands and face off with the included napkins. “Did you have something specific you wanted to talk about, or did you just need a friend?”

Hank likes when things are told to him straight. Gavin respected that. “A little of both,” he said, taking in a deep breath.

He reached out and showed Hank his arm and the neat little message written on it. “This, um, appeared last night,” he said, suddenly a little nervous. He wasn’t as nervous as he was this morning, now with some proper sleep and food in his system, but still a little anxious nonetheless. “Well, not _this_ , but a different message.”

Hank regarded it with a raise of his eyebrows. “And you took it well, I see,” he said, dripping with sarcasm.

Gavin cracked a smile at that. “Couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, didn’t know what to fuckin’ do. I thought at first that maybe I was imagining it.”

Hank leaned back on the couch and Timbit hopped into his now-free lap. “Yeah, I was pretty dumbfounded by Connor’s first mark too. I even went so far as to think that maybe I completely lost my marbles and put it there myself,” he recalled with a little laugh.

“So, what did you do after? I… I don’t know what to do now,” Gavin asked, feeling a little exposed.

“Well, honestly, it all happened so quickly. I wrote back as soon as I noticed it, Connor was in the other room and busted in, and we both realized what happened right away,” Hank said, looking down at Timbit in his lap as he told the story. “I already had feelings for him, he already had feelings for me, so honestly? It was easy. We went on our first date, and it just… fell into place.”

Gavin listened closely. He already was having such a different experience than Hank. “I don’t have feelings for anyone right now,” he said, suddenly a little worried. He knows eventually he’ll grow to love his soulmate, but there’s no telling how long it’ll take to get there. These things don’t happen instantaneously, people still need to meet and get to know their soulmates. It still requires effort.

“There’s no rush,” Hank said. “I’m just surprised you didn’t write back immediately.”

“I’m surprised too,” Gavin stared down at his arm and ran his fingers across his soulmate’s words. “I’m mostly just… I thought…”

Hank didn’t say anything, just silently urged him to gather his thoughts and continue. He was being so patient with him.

“I just can’t believe it,” he choked out, a lump forming in his throat.

Fuck, it was happening again. He was going to cry in front of Hank _again_. Maybe he shouldn’t have invited him over.

“It’s okay to feel things,” Hank said softly. “This is big for you. You know, I cried when I found out I had a soulmate after fifty-three years.”

Damn Hank and his incredible perceptive abilities.

Almost as if he was given permission, the floodgates opened and there was no closing them. Gavin sobbed, wet and ugly, desperately trying to wipe away his tears with the shoulders of his shirt.

“Ugh, you probably think I’m just a crybaby by now,” Gavin said, trying to mask his emotions with self-deprecating humor, as always.

“Please, I’m the king of crying,” Hank said with a gentle chuckle. “It’s better than bottling it in.”

“I hate it,” Gavin groaned, sniffling and shaking.

“No one loves it.”

Hank let him cry it out for a while. He had one large hand on his back, rubbing small circles between his shoulder blades in a comforting gesture. Maybe it was a good thing to have a friend he trusted here with him right now, helping him work through this.

“I’m… I’m so fucking happy,” Gavin managed after a few minutes. “But I’m so scared, too.”

“I bet,” Hank said in understanding. He bit at his bottom lip while he seemingly contemplated saying something. “Have you considered… they might be an android? Lots of people are getting soulmates now because of them… and it’s not just other androids.”

Gavin swallowed hard, thinking on it. “It came up the other day,” he said, shifting a little where he sat. “That it’s a possibility, I mean. It’s… I think it would be fine. I don’t hate androids anymore. It would… I would just hope that I’m enough.”

“You will be enough. You’ll be perfect,” Hank said, sounding confident.

Gavin smiled again, giving his face one last wipe. “Thanks.”

The two of them spent the next hour just talking about nothing- work, weather, TV, all that jazz. It was nice being able to catch up with Hank like this, in a casual setting, not necessarily talking about their litany of mental health issues and fears. It was nice having a friend in him again.

Hank couldn’t help himself, though. Before leaving, he needed to make sure Gavin was going to relax and take it easy tonight and this weekend, so he’d be rested up and healthy for work again on Monday. Gavin promised. He’d eat, sleep, and try not to give himself a heart attack about this.

It was an easy promise. He was already feeling much better after talking to someone about it.

So much so… that he wanted to write back. Just a little something just to let his soulmate know that his message was received. Nothing too extreme, just… something to break the ice with.

Once Hank left, Gavin took a shower and carefully considered what he wanted to write. He dug around his junk drawer for his best working pen and took a seat back on his couch, Timbit and Munchkin at his sides.

With a deep breath, he wrote the simplest, most innocuous greeting he could think of, right on the inside of his wrist.

“ _Hello”_

He had this all planned out- he was going to write, and then he was going to _relax._ He was going to put the pen down and _not_ stare at his arm for hours. He was about to change the channel on the TV, but mere moments after, new writing started appearing right below his.

“ _Hello”_ wrote his soulmate, with a little smiley face next to it.

Gavin’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. He urged himself to calm down- no more fainting today, please.

He took a breather and picked the pen back up again. Might as well execute the plan he had in his head his whole life now…

“ _Do you have a phone number?”_ he wrote, feeling a little dumb.

His soulmate seemed to take much longer formulating this response. A little nervous, Gavin wrote an amendment: “ _You don’t have to.”_

That seemed to catch his soulmate’s attention. “ _I’m not ready to reveal personal information yet”_ they wrote.

Oh. Okay. He doesn’t want to move too fast. “ _That’s fine”_ he scribbled.

“ _I’m sorry.”_

Gavin’s heart did a little jump. He didn’t want his soulmate feeling bad already. He doesn’t want to fuck this up so soon.

“ _It’s ok. I’m just glad you exist”_ he wrote.

God, that was dumb. Gavin cursed himself. He couldn’t just erase it like he would delete an unsent text message, his soulmate probably already read it and was already realizing what a complete, awkward fool he was- ah, his soulmate was writing something again.

_“I’m glad you exist too.”_

* * *

It was an incredibly mentally taxing day for RK900.

Last night, he finally worked up the courage to contact his soulmate. His soulmate has been writing to him for god knows how long, and RK900 was in a pretty good mood this week, gradually becoming more and more comfortable at work and learning a lot from Gavin as his work partner, so he figured- why not? There will likely never be a perfect time, so why not now, when he’s feeling relaxed and content enough to handle one new thing?

He didn’t anticipate how anxiety-inducing waiting for a response would be.

His soulmate didn’t respond at all last night, which he found surprising. His soulmate makes an effort to write on their arm every single day without fail, there’s no way they missed it.

Maybe they saw it and got scared? RK900 certainly feels scared.

He told Connor about it, who was excited for him. He also urged him to be patient, and told him about the night he wrote to his soulmate. Hank didn’t notice the writing until hours later, and Connor felt like he was going to combust from anticipation.

RK900 could relate now.

He washed away Wednesday night’s message in favor of an uplifting message Thursday morning, simply wishing his soulmate to have a good day.

He sure hoped his soulmate had a better day than he did.

He hoped maybe Gavin would distract him, but the man seemed completely out of sorts that morning. He looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, and ran off to be by himself frequently. RK900 tried asking him if everything was okay, only to be ignored.

Every time Gavin got up to go to the bathroom, RK900 gently pushed up his sleeve to take a small peek. His soulmate still didn’t respond, and his message was getting a little fuzzy from constantly pushing his shirt fabric back and forth over it.

He knows soulmate business bothers Gavin, so he was sure to keep it from him all day, pushing his sleeve back into shape whenever he saw him returning to the bullpen.

Connor must have taken note of his distress and invited him out to lunch with him and Hank. He was worried about Gavin and didn’t want to leave him like this, but Gavin insisted that he would be okay, so he went with them.

Gavin was most certainly _not_ okay.

When they got back, there seemed to be a small commotion in the kitchen, and that’s where they found Officer Chen and Miller tending to Gavin, unconscious out on the ground.

They acted fast and professionally, getting him into the safest position for a fainted person, and reassured that he had only been out for one, maybe two minutes maximum by that point. They tried claiming that they had no idea what happened to Gavin, but RK900 could sense their lies.

He didn’t interrogate them, though. He had much more pressing matters at hand, and that was making sure his partner recovered safely and smoothly. He had awoken dazed and confused, understandably. Thankfully, Gavin allowed him to take care of him and bring him home.

RK900 wanted so terribly to help him inside of his apartment and get healthy food in his stomach- Gavin clearly fainted from a mixture of stress and lack of nourishment. RK900 deduced it from the way he didn’t see Gavin eat or drink anything at all that day, and the way he could hear his stomach growling and gurgling. He didn’t know what was causing him so much stress, but surely, he could help if he would just let him inside and let him cook for him…

RK900 was not so lucky. Gavin ordered him to leave, seeming rather annoyed and embarrassed for accepting so much help already.

And so, RK900 left.

He went straight back to the precinct where he carried out the rest of their day’s work, and then went straight home once it was time to clock out.

There, Hank didn’t stay long until he said he was going to run over to Gavin’s apartment, at his request.

It… stung.

RK900 assumed Gavin didn’t want _anyone’s_ help tonight. It was apparent now that he didn’t want _his_ help.

RK900 tried not to be hurt. Gavin had known Hank for many years, he only knew RK900 for just two weeks. Gavin and Hank were friends. Gavin and RK900 were workplace partners. It wasn’t logical to be jealous, but he was.

Why was he so obsessed with this? RK900 is good friends with Connor. Best friends, even. He doesn’t feel nearly the same way about him as he does with Gavin. Is it because he enjoys the challenge? Because Gavin is so incredibly difficult to reach?

RK900 also didn’t miss the way Officers Miller and Chen were apparently spending their lunch with Gavin, after they had spent so long saying awful things about him behind his back.

If they’re friends now, then that’s great. RK900 is happy for them.

It was just frustrating.

He wanted to spend that time with Gavin. He wanted to be friends with Gavin.

Gavin was fascinating. He clearly has a rough history and a very tough outer shell. RK900 could tell he was slowly chipping away at it, revealing a little more of him each day. Gavin felt worth the effort to get to know.

Maybe Gavin doesn’t feel the same way about him.

Connor could tell that he was feeling some type of way and tried consoling him. “Today was crazy. Between waiting for your soulmate’s response and the drama at work, it’s no surprise you’re feeling a little stressed out,” he said.

RK900 sighed heavily at that. It was an oversimplification, but it wasn’t untrue.

Eventually Hank returned and the three of them called it in for the night.

Hank and Connor went to their bedroom, and RK900 sat on the couch in the living room like always. He took a few deep, unnecessary breaths to center himself. Today was a mess, but it seems that Gavin is safe and recovering at home, so RK900 could award himself the ability to relax tonight.

RK900 checked his arm and-

Oh!

His soulmate was writing back at this very moment!

His thirium pump felt like it was going to overclock. It was a simple “ _hello”,_ but it was more than enough.

RK900 quickly wrote a hello back, and even drew a little smile alongside it. This was absolutely terrifying and thrilling at the same time, but mostly terrifying.

His soulmate wanted to know his phone number, but… RK900 isn’t sure he’s ready to give out such information.

In fact, he’s not sure what he wants to reveal at all yet. He doesn’t have a name, he doesn’t want to say that he’s an android, he doesn’t want to say where he lives, he doesn’t want to go on a date yet…

Even knowing his soulmate’s name is too much for him to handle right now.

They talked via writing on their skin for a little while longer that night. His soulmate has been waiting a long time, they deserve at least a few answers. RK900 was willing to tell them that he goes by masculine pronouns and lives in Michigan. So does his soulmate.

That was enough for now. It was arguably too much already. RK900 felt overwhelmed, and told his soulmate as much. He seemed understanding, willing to wait to reveal names and such until a later time, and that he felt equally as overwhelmed.

They wished each other a good night. They have a lifetime to get to know more about each other, they don’t need to get it all out in the open right away.

It was hard to focus on his soulmate today, knowing Gavin was recovering from health issues, mental and physical. He cursed himself for writing to his soulmate last night. If he waited just a few more days, he wouldn’t feel his attention being torn in half between talking to his soulmate and making sure Gavin was alright. There’s no way he could have known the two events would overlap like this, but it was unfortunate all the same.

It was just such bad timing.


	7. Chapter 7

A few days passed. RK900 and his soulmate have exchanged a few more small conversations. They weren’t too complex, which he appreciated. It was nice to just talk a little about simple things. He learned his soulmate has a few cats, and RK900 told him that he sometimes takes care of his roommate’s dog.

His soulmate seemed interested in the fact that he doesn’t live alone. RK900 felt like he said too much again and retreated.

He texted Gavin a couple of times as well, just to say hello and wish him a speedy recovery. Nothing more. They were just friends in the professional sense, after all.

So that made Gavin’s response all the more surprising.

_What r u up to today  
-GR_

_I didn’t have anything in particular planned for the day.  
-RK_

_Im bored out of my gourd. U wanna hang?  
-GR_

RK900 hesitated. Gavin wanted to spend time with him after all? Why?

_Cmon. I’ll pick u up. U live with Hank right? Bring money  
-GR_

RK900 didn’t know what was going on or what to expect, but he agreed. _“Okay. I’ll wait here,”_ he sent.

Sure enough, after approximately twenty-three minutes, Gavin’s car was pulled up to the sidewalk and honked to get his attention. Sumo didn’t love that, immediately jumping to bark at the noise, which promptly woke Hank from the nap he was taking on the couch.

“The fuck is doing that?” Hank grumbled, stirring from his sleep.

“ _[I’m sorry. It’s Gavin.]”_ RK900 quickly shot Hank a text as he put on his shoes. “ _[We’re hanging out today.]”_

“’Hanging out?’ A’right, have fun I guess,” Hank muttered and shoved his face back into his throw pillow. “Crazy kids.”

RK900 hurried outside, just to stop the relentless honking. Gavin rolled down the window to watch him approach with a smile that could only be described as “shit-eating.”

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping!” Gavin shouted over the music that he was blasting. RK900 gingerly got in the car and buckled his seatbelt.

“ _You disturbed Sumo,”_ RK900 signed, exasperation in his gestures. Gavin was right, it was easier to express himself like this. He liked using sign language much more than text displayed on his hand, it felt so much more alive and personal.

“Yeah, I don’t give a shit,” Gavin said, turning the music down a touch so they could talk for a second.

“ _Shopping?”_

“Yeah, we gotta do something about your wardrobe, dude,” Gavin looked RK900 up and down. He was still wearing his usual Cyberlife getup, as he always does. RK900 squirmed under his gaze for a second, feeling thoroughly scrutinized.

“ _Is that it?”_ RK900 questioned with a quirk of his brow.

“… _and_ I’ve been cooped up in the apartment since Thursday and thought it’d be nice to chill. Fuckin’ sue me,” Gavin added, rolling them out and onto the road.

So, Gavin wanted to bond with him after all. He could have so easily chosen someone else, like Hank or Officers Miller and Chen, but he chose him.

Interesting.

Well, RK900 wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he went along with it.

Gavin drove the two of them to the nearest shopping center and parked close by. 

“ _How are you feeling today, Gavin?”_ RK900 signed politely when they got out of the car and started approaching the mall entrance.

“M’fine,” Gavin said, hands hiding away in the pockets of his jacket.

“ _Did you go to the doctor as suggested?”_

Gavin grunted at that. “I’m _fine._ Listen, as far as we care, Thursday never happened, okay?”

RK900’s brows furrowed. “ _I was worried about you.”_

Gavin stopped walking for a second, shuffling uncomfortably on his feet for a second. “Sorry,” he said curtly, his head slightly bowed forward with guilt. “I was havin’ a day. I don’t… I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”

RK900 blinked at him. “ _Okay,”_ he signed, earnest understanding written on his face.

“Alright, fuck. Retail therapy time, c’mon,” Gavin said, charging ahead and into the shopping center entrance. RK900 had to do a little jog to catch back up to him.

“ _Do you have anything in mind for what you want to buy?”_

“Um, whatever speaks to me,” Gavin said with a noncommittal wave of his hand.

Gavin led the way to a men’s fashion store- it was a nicer selection, but not so high-end that everything was unaffordable. “See what you like here. I’m not letting you near the bargain bin. If you start dressing like Hank, I’m gonna gauge my eyes out.”

RK900 smiled. _“You don’t enjoy bright colors and patterns, then?”_ he signed. Gavin gagged in response.

Luckily for Gavin, RK900 wasn’t sure he liked bright colors either. He didn’t love his Cyberlife jacket and really only wore it because it was all he had. His undershirt, however, seemed more his style. He liked the way the color and the tall collar looked on him. It’s just a simple black, but he finds it suits him well.

He looked at clothes that invoked the same feeling, whether they were black, or dress shirts, or both. He liked the formal, educated look of them.

“ _Should I try these on?”_ RK900 signed with some difficulty, a handful of tops swinging from their hangar hooks on his arms

“Sure, give me a fashion show,” Gavin shrugged, standing off to the side of the men’s fitting rooms with his arms crossed.

RK900 started with a simple black turtleneck. It had the similar color and high collar of his Cyberlife undershirt, but the material was soft and fit his body snug. He observed himself in the mirror and admired the way it accentuated the lean, strong shape of his body.

He stepped outside the little dressing room where Gavin was waiting to see him.

Gavin blinked at him for a second. RK900 had a brief moment where he thought maybe he misjudged himself, but Gavin eventually spoke up. “See? Already so much better than that dumpy jacket,” he said, a wicked smile across his face.

_“So you like it?”_

“Yeah, suits you well. Go try on the rest,” Gavin shooed him back into the dressing room.

RK900 continued like that, trying on articles and showing Gavin, who seemed to approve of his fashion choices. That included a few well fitted button ups, cardigans, waistcoats, and simple tees, all in various shades of grey and black and a few navy blues.

It is a wonder he didn’t try going clothes shopping before today. He’s been struggling to form a sense of self for so long now, and this worked _wonders_. Clothing was always one of humans’ favorite forms of expression, so he really shouldn’t be surprised.

For example, Hank wears incredibly bright, garish clothes. He doesn’t care much for having a coherent sense of style, but when he has to make a choice, he chooses to be loud. His style very much screams “ _I dare you to say something. Just_ try _to see if I give a fuck.”_

Connor wears very casual, soft clothes, whether that’s Hank’s old clothes or sweatshirts he picked up himself, it doesn’t matter. He likes to look a little more put-together than Hank, but he prioritizes comfort above all else. Hoodies, tees, sweatshirts, sweaters and the like. Apparently, he used to wear a suit and tie as his Cyberlife outfit- RK900 would have never guessed. He never saw Connor wear a tie or dress shirt the entire time he’s been alive.

RK900 was definitely drawn to sleek, stylish attire. Some of these articles were rather pricey, but it didn’t matter. He also found himself questioning how well his outfits would coordinate with his motorcycle, using that as some kind of barometer for judgement. It didn’t matter, but he liked the idea of matching to it.

The most shocking to Gavin, definitely, was the black leather jacket he picked out.

“That thing is expensive as _fuck,_ are you sure?” Gavin said, clearly taken aback by the expensive taste RK900 ended up acquiring today.

“ _Yes,”_ RK900 signed, folding it neatly in his nearly-full shopping basket. It was perfect. “ _The fibers are strong and will surely help protect me from wind and debris while riding. It’s not bulky, it conforms to my torso in an appealing way. I quite enjoy the artfully placed pockets and zippers, the silver color contrasts nicely with the black of the material, giving them a unique but functional design.”_

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Gavin breathed out. “I’ve created a monster. A fashion diva monster.”

RK900 smirked at him.

Gavin gaped back.

“ _Perhaps you did,”_ RK900 signed, leading the way to the cashier to check out.

“No short sleeves?” Gavin commented curiously.

Ah, he was right. He didn’t do it on purpose, but he definitely subconsciously chose only long-sleeved clothing.

His arms looked nice right now, actually. It’s been a few days since his soulmate self-harmed, and his skin is clean of his usual scribbles. He still didn’t want to have his arms bare, though. Especially around Gavin. He didn’t want to talk about his soulmate, and he didn’t want to inadvertently make Gavin feel bad in some way.

“ _None interested me today. Maybe some other time,”_ he responded with a little shrug. Thankfully, Gavin seemed satisfied with that answer. “ _You haven’t tried anything on yet. What are you going to buy?”_

Gavin kicked at the ground for a second. “Honestly I was just bored and wanted an excuse…” he said after a moment. RK900 waited for him to finish the statement, but it never happened. “I’m fucking hungry. There’s a food court in this mall, let’s go,” he said, bouncing on his feet as he waited for RK900 to finish paying.

The moment the transaction was complete, Gavin practically ran off. RK900 caught up with him and matched his brisk pace. “ _Is something the matter, Gavin?”_ he questioned. If he had to guess, he’d say Gavin’s anxiety was spiking again.

“I’m fine, just hungry,” Gavin answered, but RK900 found that unlikely.

They arrived at the food court. It was modestly sized, but had an eclectic selection of fast food restaurants inside. Gavin took a long trip around the room, plucking free samples from trays as he passed them, before settling on a panini place. RK900 mentally commended him for his reasonably healthy choice. Well… healthier than some of the other options, at least.

RK900 let Gavin buy his sandwich and pick a table for them, and gingerly placed his new bags of clothes next to him as he sat down.

“Can you guys eat, like, at all?” Gavin asked after a few feverish bites.

“ _We can ‘eat’ a very small amount, but consuming large quantities of material can cause issues,”_ RK900 signed. “ _We have a stomach biocomponent, but it is small and needs to be cleaned out manually.”_

“Gross,” Gavin said, diving back to his food.

RK900 let him finish his meal in peace before rehashing his question from earlier. “ _Are you sure you are okay? You said you ‘wanted an excuse.’ An excuse to do what?”_

Gavin wiped his hands and face with a napkin and leaned back in his chair. “Ugh, really?” he groaned and took a long sip of the drink that came with his meal. RK900 just stared at him. “Jesus- okay! Okay! I… felt bad for giving you the cold shoulder after you helped me to my apartment, alright?”

RK900 blinked at him. “ _I figured you were feeling vulnerable and wanted some time alone. I understood.”_ He _understood_ just fine… it still hurt when Hank was allowed to visit in his place though.

_Dammit, RK900,_ he cursed himself. _The past is in the past. Gavin is clearly making reparations for that now._

“Yeah, well, I was a dick about it. I’m… sorry,” Gavin admitted with some difficulty. “And I really did just want to hang out! If you’re gonna keep questioning it, we can just fuckin’ leave right now.”

“ _No, I’m happy to ‘hang out’ with you,”_ RK900 signed with a small, warm smile.

Gavin relaxed back in his seat with a little sigh. “Good,” he said, putting his drink down. He twirled the straw around in the cup, eyeing RK900. “So, Tin Can,” he started curiously, watching RK900 closely. “When were you gonna tell me about your SWAT days?”

“ _Whenever you asked, Gavin,”_ RK900 responded coolly. He was always happy to tell him whatever he wanted to know; Gavin has just been hesitant to start those conversations most of the time. He stayed patient with him, though. They didn’t get along their first few days together, mostly because of Gavin’s reluctance, so RK900 graciously took any attention he got from the man now that he’s getting more comfortable giving it.

“Well, I’m asking now,” Gavin said, overly defensive. “That’s like… the really crazy shit. Violent drug busts and shooters. You get to be a sniper and crap. It requires so much more training and I bet androids would be perfect for it. Like, why leave?”

“ _I found the work overwhelming,”_ RK900 signed, carefully choosing how to talk about this. “ _And I didn’t get along with the rest of the team.”_

“That have something to do with the mark of aggressive assault towards another officer you have?” Gavin asked casually, taking another sip of his drink.

RK900 froze in his seat for a second. “ _How much do you know about that?”_ he gestured, immediately regretting asking. It made him sound more guilty than he was. Or, at least, more guilty than he wanted to sound, considering he _was_ completely in the wrong for what he did.

Gavin shrugged. “That’s it, really,” he said, tone non-accusatory. It seemed he wasn’t trying to interrogate him; he just chose a topic of conversation he didn’t expect to be as touchy as it was. “What’d you do? C’mon, I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

“ _The other officers there… were constantly harassing me,”_ RK900 started. Maybe he shouldn’t be talking about this, but… something about Gavin made him want to open up about his past. “ _They didn’t want me there, and they made that very clear with the way they treated me.”_

Gavin’s eyebrows knitted together. “How the fuck did they treat you?”

“ _Are you familiar with hazing?”_ RK900 signed.

“Yeah, like, making newbies run around naked and pushing their heads in toilets ‘n shit?” Gavin said, a little disbelieving.

“ _They pushed and punched me, made me perform demeaning tasks like cleaning the bathrooms while they watched, poured drinks on me, forced me to eat things that would damage my biocomponents, among other things,”_ RK900 described, looking shamefully down at the table. “ _Along with sending me out first on dangerous missions and using me like a shield. They wanted me to quit or die, whatever came first.”_

For a second, RK900 worried that he said too much. It was a lot to reveal suddenly, regardless of how comfortable he felt around Gavin.

Gavin, though, stared at him with a hard expression to suggest he was taking this very seriously. “Why’d you fuckin’ go along with it?” he asked. It was a fair question.

“ _I wanted to be liked. I thought they would accept me if I ‘passed’ their tests,”_ RK900 signed and shook his head. He felt stupid, looking back on it now.

Gavin softened, looking a little shameful himself. “I- I didn’t mean to victim blame, I… You didn’t fucking deserve that.”

“ _It took me a little while to realize it was just abuse,”_ RK900 gestured.

“And? You told them what’s for, right? Where does the assault come in?” Gavin continued, scooting forward a bit. He seemed eager to hear this part of the story.

“ _Well,”_ RK900 hesitated, shifting a little in his chair. “ _I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of quitting, so I knew I had to get fired. Someone was going to put their cigarette out on me, so I snapped his wrist.”_

A very wide grin spread across Gavin’s lips. “That’s fucking great!” he exclaimed, leaning back and clapping his hands together. That made RK900 relax and give a small smile himself.

“ _I know it was immature of me…”_

“No way, it’s fucking amazing. They totally deserved it,” Gavin continued, leaning back onto the table. “There’s no messing with you, huh?”

RK900 let out a small sigh. “ _I don’t want people to think I’m violent,”_ he added, motions a little slow with sadness. “ _I was built to be ruthless. A lot of people think I still am, by nature. I don’t want to be like that.”_

Gavin nodded, watching his movements thoughtfully. “Yeah, I know what you mean about people… making assumptions,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “It sucks.”

“ _It does suck.”_

Gavin sat there quietly for a long moment, as did RK900. They both needed a second to just come to terms with everything RK900 revealed.

“Alright,” Gavin broke the silence. “Hit me. You get one personal question pass.”

RK900 quirked a brow. “ _What?”_

“C’mon, ask me anything. I won’t hold back,” Gavin steadied his body as if he were bracing himself. “You only get one, though. So make it count!”

RK900 thought on that for a second. Sure, Gavin was giving him a pass to talk about anything, but he _still_ didn’t want to put him on the spot for something that would make him too uncomfortable. So… soulmate questions were an absolute no, for now. “ _When did you decide to learn sign language?”_ he decided on.

Gavin slumped. “Really? That’s what you go with?” he asked incredulously. “Well, that was your one shot, bub. No take backsies.”

“ _I’m okay with that,”_ RK900 signed with a small smile. “ _You’re so fluent, I’m just surprised. Do you have a deaf family member?”_

Gavin shrugged. “Nah, I just really wanted to know it, I guess. I started young ‘cause it was fascinating to me. Then I just kind of… kept at it. I figured it might come in handy one day, you know? Like, what if one day I had to talk to a deaf victim? I’d want them to be as comfortable as possible.”

“ _That’s very commendable of you,”_ RK900 complimented.

That made Gavin rub his neck again, this time with bashfulness. “Whatever. I’m not lookin’ for a prize or anything,” he played it off.

“ _And humble of you.”_

“Fuckin’… alright, leave me alone!” Gavin said, ears properly reddened with embarrassment now, but unable to hide his smile.

RK900 liked Gavin’s smile. It was much nicer than the displeased scowl that he’s grown accustomed to since they met. It was warm and inviting and it made RK900 a little happier when he saw it. He wished Gavin would smile more.

They talked a little longer about smaller, less personal things. It was nice. Gavin seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with him the longer they talked, and it gradually just got easier to converse. Even easier and more natural than the conversations they’ve had at work when they would exchange friendly greetings. It felt as easy as it was to talk to Connor, which could only mean one thing:

RK900 had a real friend in Gavin now.

He only originally set out to earn the detective’s respect, but RK900 ended up getting so much more.

* * *

The next few days were rather uneventful. Gavin returned to work, where he and RK900 worked on a couple of small cases. They were mostly confined to their desks, save for one day where they were called in to investigate a suspected drug ring. It was nothing more than a space where homeless were congregating and some business owner got paranoid. They were swiftly relocated to a shelter to get the help they needed.

Gavin seemed to be in an overall much better mood than he was last Thursday, especially now that he and RK900 have bonded. It was much easier talking to him and working with him. Though, one could describe his mood this week as ‘distracted,’ too. At times, RK900 caught him looking a little spaced out and asked him if something was wrong, only to be shut out.

RK900 was a little frustrated that Gavin still wasn’t being open about whatever was bothering him, but he tried to shake the feeling off. They’re friends, but Gavin has shown time and time again that he has trouble communicating his feelings in favor of hiding behind the walls he put up. RK900 tried not to take it personally and continued to be patient and supportive.

At home, he made light conversation with his soulmate, still via writing on their arms. His soulmate kept dropping hints that he wanted to meet him, but RK900 swerved around them all. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready to go on a date yet.

He knew it wasn’t fair. His soulmate has been waiting for so long… He just didn’t know how to approach this in a way that would make them both happy.

RK900 has a grand total of three close friends. Hank, Connor, and Gavin. He got along with the leaders of Jericho, but they were more like teachers than friends. They liked hearing back from him once in a while about his progress in life, but they would be equally happy to hear from any of their past students. He knows he’s not special to them.

That’s all to say, RK900 has trouble making friends. He has no idea how Connor does it- he gets along with everyone. He snatches up new friends like it’s a hobby. He’s always just so bright and outgoing, it’s no issue to him. There’s something to be said about his base programming coming into play, but there’s no doubt Connor’s natural, deviated personality helps as well.

Befriending his soulmate would mean they make up an entire 25% of RK900’s circle of friends. The thought was bizarre and slightly overwhelming.

He just… needed to talk to someone about this. Even if it’s just a little bit, just to get a handle on his emotions.

He… didn’t really want to talk to Connor. Connor was great to talk to, don’t get him wrong. It’s just, he’s technically just as inexperienced as he is when it comes to relationships. He's only ever been with Hank, and he’s only about a year old himself. He wanted to talk to someone who not only had more relationship experience, but life experience.

He Hank had a wealth of knowledge and was always happy to sit down with you if you needed advice. Perhaps it was his paternal instincts.

Now was the perfect time. It was the evening, and Connor had just run out to grab some groceries. Hank was at home and had just finished giving Sumo a bath, which is an ordeal all on its own, and now he was relaxing on the couch until Connor got back.

“ _[Hank? Can I talk to you about something?]”_ he displayed to Hank with the palm of his hand.

Hank, with those instincts of his, could tell RK900 needed his serious, undivided attention and muted the TV. “Yeah? What’s up?” he said, turning his body more towards him.

“ _[I have… concerns. About my soulmate. I don’t know what to do.]”_ RK900 started, his other hand picking uselessly at a loose thread on the couch.

“Alright, lay it on me,” Hank said, voice calm and gentle. He had an incredible way of making you feel at ease when discussing things.

“ _[They want to meet me, but I’m just so nervous. I don’t know if I’m ready to. I’ve never been on a date before.]”_

“When did you start talking to them?” Hank asked. Of course, it was only natural for him to treat this like a small investigation of its own.

“ _[Wednesday night, last week.]”_ RK900 supplied. “ _[I don’t know much about them. That is mostly my own fault- I specifically requested that we share little about ourselves for now. It’s just so overwhelming, I didn’t want to be bombarded with information.]”_

Something about that piqued Hank’s interest, which he quickly hid by scratching his beard in thought. What that was, RK900 has no idea.

“ _[I just don’t know what to do on a date with someone knowing they’re my life partner. We don’t know each other! Even if I knew their name and address and their favorite food, that doesn’t mean I **know**_ _them, deep down. What if we don’t hit it off right away? Is it possible to ruin a first date with your soulmate?”]_

“Jesus, RK, you’re typing a mile a minute, calm down,” Hank said, putting up his hands like he was approaching a scared animal. “Breathe, son. Breathe for a second.”

RK900 did as instructed, taking a few deep breaths, followed by long exhales. Breathing served no purpose in androids, but the action did sooth him in a similar way as it does for humans.

“ _[I don’t know how to handle having a soulmate. I knew I had a soulmate since the moment I was activated. It’s still surreal. I’m worried I’ll disappoint them because there’s still so much I don’t know.]”_ RK900 shown with another heavy sigh. His LED spun yellow at his temple.

Hank sighed in return. “I know it’s a lot to handle. But… I promise, they’re probably overwhelmed too. Getting a soulmate is a big deal! And plenty of people don’t know their soulmates when they meet. Sure, the first few dates might be awkward and uncomfortable, but I’ve got news for ya- that’s _every_ first date,” Hank let out a little laugh at that. “But they’re your _soulmate_ , so you’ll get over that awkward hump. You’ll get more and more comfortable with time.”

RK900 nodded silently. Everything Hank said was logical, it’s reasoning he’s had with himself already, but hearing it come out of someone else’s mouth helped validate him.

“I promise, every fear you have, they’re probably having too,” Hank reached out and patted RK900’s shoulder.

“ _[Sometimes I wish I was already close friends with my soulmate so the transition wasn’t so dramatic, like you and Connor.]”_ RK900 admitted sheepishly.

Hank let out a hearty chuckle. “Who knows! It’s a small world.”

RK900 huffed and rolled his eyes. “ _[I appreciate your optimism, but that’s unlikely. I can count on one hand how many people I am close to.]_

“I’m just sayin’,” Hank said, ultimately deciding he didn’t want to die on that hill. “So, they’ve been pushing for a date?”

“ _[In a way, yes. They keep saying how they want to meet me, and how excited they are to meet me. They know I’m hesitant so they haven’t asked outright, but they haven’t exactly been subtle about it.]”_ RK900 displayed.

“Well,” Hank took a deep breath and clasped his hands together. “If you are asking for my perspective, I’d say, just go for it. It’s not a perfect situation. I know you don’t feel ready- but you don’t gotta get _married_ right away or anything. It could be nice to just _meet_ , and try to be friends for a while first and see how it goes. They’re your soulmate, meaning you two will be able to work things out. I’m sure if you say you want to take things slow, they’ll understand. I’m just worried if you wait too long, you’ll end up spending more time regretting you didn’t just do things sooner.”

Hank looked a little solemn saying that. Perhaps he and Connor haven’t been completely issue-free after all. They are soulmates- that doesn’t automatically solve every problem and make life peachy keen and perfect. It just means you have someone to help jump those hurdles with. It’s you and your soulmate versus the problem. You attack it together, instead of having to face it on your own.

Perhaps going on a date wouldn’t be so bad. It would be the first challenge they get to face, together.

“ _[Thank you, Hank.]”_ RK900 showed, feeling much better about this now.

“Go get’em, tiger,” Hank said with one last pat to his shoulder.

RK900 smiled warmly and sunk back into the couch. Hank turned the volume back on the TV, and the two of them silently watched it until Connor returned home.

He and Hank helped him put away the groceries and eventually the duo went to bed, leaving RK900 alone in the living room.

As per ritual, he rolled up his sleeve. Their last interaction still shown on his skin, with one new message from his soulmate which was just an endearing doodle of a cat. He found the nice pen he’s been using to write with so far and uncapped it.

_“Would you like to go out to dinner this Saturday?”_

* * *

This week went by _excruciatingly_ slow. When Gavin got his soulmate’s invitation to dinner, every passing minute _crawled_ by.

He felt a little bad. Maybe he was pushing the idea of a date too hard after promising that he’d be patient. But… it as so _hard_ being patient. He’s thirty-six, he’s been waiting for his soulmate for so long, and he just wanted to fucking _meet them._

Yeah, he was terrified, he was bouncing off the walls all god damn week and fidgeting to all hell, which he’s sure bothered everyone within earshot of him at work. But fuck it, he was going to meet his soulmate!

Chris and Tina were getting the brunt of his excitement in their group chat, to which they constantly reminded him to eat, sleep, and drink water. They were excited for him though, and demanded updates as they came. Gavin was happy to supply them.

Seconds passed…

Minutes passed…

Hours passed…

Days passed…

And suddenly, it was Saturday.

Their date was _tonight._

How on earth did Gavin go through the week, counting the minutes, for Saturday to sneak up on him like this? His soulmate set the time and place. It wasn’t too far so he wouldn’t have to plan his whole evening around the travel, so that was good, but- fuck, what was he going to _wear?_

_Guys I dont know what to fucking wear  
-GR_

_Just wear something nice!  
-TC_

_I dont have anything nice!!!!!  
-GR_

_Im so fucking dumb!!! I just went shopping with Nines last weekend and I didnt buy any fucking clothes!!!!!!  
-GR_

_Im sure you have something. Look harder  
-CM_

Gavin rummaged through his closet, throwing aside everything he usually wears. His soulmate deserved better than t-shirts and old henleys. His usual favorite pair of jeans that were starting to rip and get baggy were an absolute no-go. Thankfully he had a new pair ready for when that one was going to kick the bucket.

Shoes were also taken care of against his will. He wished he had something nicer than sneakers, but at least this pair was clean and not falling apart.

He dug deep into his dresser, looking through the drawers he hasn’t opened in months where he banishes clothes he never wears. “Fuck yes!” he exclaimed to himself, surprising Munchkin and Timbit who were making quick work of rubbing their fur all over the clothes strewn about.

He pulled out a couple of old button-ups he hasn’t worn in forever. One problem, though…

_I found clothes but theyre all WRINKLY  
-GR_

_Do u have an iron?  
-CM_

_OF COURSE NOT  
-GR_

_Use a pot!  
-TC_

_Tf do you mean  
-GR_

_Get a pot hot as hell & use the bottom of the pot as ur iron!!!  
-TC_

_GENIUS BRB  
-GR_

Gavin narrowed down his shirts from the worst offenders and decided on a light blue button up. It was simple, but respectable. All the while, the cleanest pot he could find was heating up on his stovetop. He didn’t want to get burnt shit on the bottom of the pan or scorch the clothes, so he took it off before it got _too_ hot.

He splayed the shirt out as much as he could on his coffee table, the largest, flattest surface he had to work with. “Alright, here goes nothing,” he muttered, gently pressing the bottom of the hot pan against the shirt.

Slowly but surely, with effort and a lot of patience Gavin didn’t have, the wrinkles eased away. He let out a relieved sigh and pressed on, finishing up his hack ironing job.

_Ok i think that worked  
-GR_

_Good!!  
-TC_

Gavin looked at the time. He had about an hour until he was supposed to leave. Just enough time to shower and get himself ready.

Nerves were starting to get to him, his hands feeling a little shaky. He quickly rummaged through his snack cabinet and dug his hand into his bag of skittles, quickly shoving them in his mouth. Something something eating sugar to stop shaking something something… Maybe that was just for people with hypoglycemia. Does he have hypoglycemia? Who the fuck knows. He chased it down with a glass of water to cover his bases. The last thing he wanted was to pass out on his date.

It certainly did… something. Whether it actually helped or it was just a placebo effect, he had no idea, but he hopped into the shower feeling a little less jittery.

He got out and towel dried his hair and tried styling it to the best of his ability. He even gave himself a fresh shave- he likes having a little stubble so he used his trimmer to make sure everything was neat and even, then went in with his flat razor to make sure his neck and cheeks were cleaned up.

His cats curiously followed Gavin around as he frantically put himself together. He put on a solid undershirt that he wouldn’t easily sweat through and make huge wet spots under his armpits- god, what if he sweat on the date? He doesn’t want to be disgusting.

He finished off his look with a little cologne, nothing too dramatic but just a little something that smelled like pine, and took a look at himself in the full-length mirror in his bedroom. He looked….

Like a fucking mess.

He snapped a picture of himself and sent it to Tina and Chris.

_Do I look as bad as I think I look???  
[Picture attached]  
-GR_

_Undo the first button of ur shirt and untuck it from ur pants u fukin nerd  
-TC_

_You look fine, Gav  
-CM_

_Do what tina said tho  
-CM_

Gavin fumbled with his shirt for a second and sent another selfie.

_I still look fuckign scary. I have such dark ass eyes & im all scarred up GOD what is he gonna think???  
[Picture attached]  
-GR_

_That youre a cutie patootie :)  
-CM_

_Roll up your sleeves n show forearms!! Thatll be sexier!!  
-TC_

_???  
[Picture attached]  
-GR_

_YEAAAHHHHHH  
-TC_

_Look at him, so ready for his date  
-CM_

_Im so not ready omg… kill me…  
-GR_

_YOU GOT THIS, BIG CAT :D  
-TC_

Gavin smiled down at his phone. He appreciated having Chris and Tina as his cheerleaders. If he were dealing with this by himself, he’s sure he would have crumpled up onto the floor and wimped out.

He still felt like he looked… wrong. He was much more comfortable wearing black and his old leather jacket, looking hardened and rugged helped with the outward persona he usually put on. It became so engrained in his day-to-day life that even this small change made him feel completely alien in his own body.

Well, after the hundredth glance at the clock, it was finally time to go.

* * *

Gavin took a shaky breath as he exited the car. The restaurant was in a nice, foody part of town, and they had a spacious open patio section. People were sitting outside, enjoying the cool summer night air for the last few weeks before it starts getting too chilly in September, quickly approaching. The outside was lit with elegant paper lantern string lights, giving the dining area a warm glow.

He checked the time on his phone. He was a little early. That was okay- better than being late, he supposed. He really fucking wished he had his soulmate’s phone number. He had to check his arm for updates and had to bring a god damn pen with him to stay in communication.

_“I’m a little early. In the parking lot. Are you here yet?”_ he wrote underneath his soulmate’s last message. “ _I don’t have your name for the reservation.”_

Gavin paced back and forth in the parking lot, staring hopelessly down at his arm. He listened to the murmur of happy customers chatting and eating and looked over, wondering if any of them was his soulmate. He couldn’t make out any faces in this darkness- not that it mattered. It’s not like he’ll recognize his soulmate when he knows absolutely nothing about him.

He saw the beginnings of some new words being written on his arm and froze where he stood.

“ _I am. Wait there, I’ll come get you.”_

Gavin’s heart felt like it was going to give out, it was racing so fast. He swallowed hard and was suddenly very aware of the way he was holding himself. Should he be standing somewhere specific? Maybe he could lean against his car? Should he look like he’s been waiting for someone, or appear more aloof? What should he do with his hands?

He looked around for the perfect spot to position himself and suddenly noticed a row of motorcycles. Interesting how many bikers were at this classy little restaurant. Maybe there was a good bar inside or something. He could certainly use a drink to calm his nerves now-

Gavin spun around at the sound of footsteps approaching him, vision a little swimmy from the anxiety. He willed himself to stay calm.

Wait- he recognized the man approaching him.

Nines?

He was wearing the waistcoat he bought last weekend. Gavin let out the breath he was holding.

“Nines? Jesus Christ, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here?” Gavin greeted, eyes nervously darting behind Nines. His soulmate was going to be here any second, he didn’t want him to miss him because he saw him talking with someone else. 

Nines blinked at him, LED blinking a bright yellow. “ _I am here to meet my soulmate for the first time,”_ he signed carefully. His eyes glanced behind him as well, taking a quick look around the parking lot.

Gavin’s brain stopped for a second. “ _I’m_ here to meet _my_ soulmate for the first time,” he said, studying Nines for a second. What were the chances they were both looking to meet their soulmates for the first time, on the same day, at the same restaurant? No... it couldn't be. 

Nines stared down at Gavin’s bare arm, LED like a light show. “ _Gavin, I think…”_ his gesture hung in the air.

No.

No.

This wasn’t happening.

Gavin took a few steps back. Nines stepped forward. “No,” he shook his head. His hands started shaking and his stomach churned. “No, no fucking way.”

“ _I think you’re my soulmate,”_ Nines finished his statement by rolling up his own shirt sleeve. He held his arm out straight for Gavin to see.

On his arm had the same exact conversation Gavin and his soulmate shared moments before. “ _I don’t have your name for the reservation.”_ And right below that, “ _I am. Wait there, I’ll come get you._ ”

“No,” Gavin repeated, a hysterical laugh bubbling out of him as he raised one trembling finger up to point at Nines. “You’re not my soulmate!”

“ _Gavin, what’s wrong?”_ Nines’ LED was blinking red now as he took a few more cautious steps towards him.

“I said you’re not my _fucking soulmate!_ You _can’t_ be my fucking soulmate!” Gavin shouted. His head spun. He didn’t mean to start yelling. His world rung impossibly loud in his ears and he felt like he was going to be sick right then and there. “Get the fuck away from me!”

“ _Please, let’s talk about this,”_ Nines begged, eyes desperate and pleading while his LED spun a solid red.

Gavin held his head between his hands, trying hard to get the ringing and the spinning to stop. His breathing was quick. Hyperventilating. He needed to get out of here.

“ _No!_ Fuck you, I can’t love you!” Gavin spat and stumbled towards his car, leaving Nines far behind him. He managed to jam the key in the ignition and drove off, tires screeching against the pavement.

As he got onto the road back home, he watched Nines’s still figure gradually shrink smaller and smaller in his rear-view mirror as he drove further and further away.


	8. Chapter 8

RK900’s mind was in a fog. He stood in the middle of the restaurant parking lot for a few minutes, just trying to piece together what just happened.

It was hard to describe his emotions this evening. He was nervous waiting for his soulmate in the restaurant. He knew he had to lead the charge because he really didn’t give his soulmate enough to work with to find him- he couldn’t be sat down at their table, as he didn’t give him his name for the reservation.

He just had to step outside the moment he noticed his soulmate notify that he was there. He would look for someone who appeared to be waiting around and approach them. Easy. Then RK900 would introduce himself and invite his soulmate inside to their table, where they would talk a little about themselves…

Kind of like a self-imposed blind date. The concept isn’t widely used, but is sometimes implemented into soulmate-less or open relationship matchmaking. As someone who was uncomfortable sharing personal information with someone he didn’t know, it sounded like the perfect plan to RK900. Introducing himself, talking about himself, and learning about his soulmate by writing on their arms just felt so… impersonal. He wanted them to get to know each other face to face.

It seemed like a fine enough plan- it worked, after all.

He just didn’t expect to see Gavin.

If he had known it was Gavin this whole time, he would have approached this from an entirely different angle. He would have tested the waters with Gavin at work for much longer, he would have asked him so many questions anonymously on his arm, he would have built up trust for much longer. That way, when he was ready to reveal, Gavin’s reaction would have been understanding. Maybe even loving.

Not… this.

He wasn’t opposed to the idea of Gavin being his soulmate. RK900 was confused and shocked at first, but he quickly came to terms with it. Within moments. He realized with relief that this meant they didn’t have to go over the initial hurdle of going from strangers to friends. He already respected, admired, and liked Gavin as a person so much already- this was a blessing. It was going to be a little strange and weird at first to learn how to transition from friends to a relationship, but RK900 felt like he was ready to face the challenge

Gavin clearly thought different.

RK900 couldn’t have ever predicted Gavin’s reaction. He didn’t know why he reacted so negatively, so _strongly._ Did he do something wrong? He thought they were friends. Why was he acting like he hated him?

RK900 wanted to get to the bottom of this. He wanted Gavin to be happy. Soulmates have clearly been a sore spot for him since they met, and now RK900 was beginning to have a better understanding why.

He searched his internal database on his soulmate and his internal database on Gavin Reed, and began combining the information like a puzzle.

Gavin quickly shuts you out when you ask him if he has a soulmate.  
> Gavin was clearly frustrated by his lack of a soulmate, writing on his arm every day, erratic and messy.

Gavin wears long sleeve shirts in the summer despite being uncomfortable.  
> Gavin was hiding the marks he leaves for his soulmate, and his occasional self-harm scars, from public view.

Gavin was severely ill and fainted at work Thursday last week.  
>That was the morning after Gavin first learned he had a soulmate. He didn’t get any sleep the night before and he didn’t eat anything afterwards. That, coupled with the fact that Gavin suffers from some form of anxiety explains his state the next day.

That all still didn’t explain why Gavin’s reaction tonight was so poor.

RK900 was still standing in the middle of the parking lot, LED blaring red. It should be his new mission to mend things with Gavin. He should apologize and try to make things right as soon as possible. Why did that idea make him feel so terrible?

He returned to the restaurant, canceled his reservation, and gave his waitress a large tip for the trouble. She could clearly tell something bad had happened and tried to convince him to keep the money, but he refused. He just wanted to go home.

Maybe RK900 set up the wrong expectations by coming to a restaurant. Maybe Gavin assumed he was going to be a human and his old prejudices came bubbling back up.

RK900 picked out this restaurant for its beauty. It seemed to be a popular spot for casual summer dining, the open patio taking full advantage of the fresh air. He didn’t mind not eating, as they didn’t have anything for android consumption. He brought a canister full of thirium to sip in the case that his date felt awkward being the only one eating.

He collected his leather jacket from the coat rack and returned to the parking lot, finding his motorcycle among the others. The bike roared to life and he wasted no time getting on the road.

His thirium pump squeezed painfully in his chest cavity. Everything hurt. He tried focusing only on Gavin. He left in such a haste, he needed to make sure he got home safely. His own head spun, mind hazy as he drove.

The expanse of road ahead of him did not come as a comfort to him this time.

He barely registered the fact that he arrived home, his feet took him to the door seemingly on their own.

Hank and Connor were in the living room, watching something on TV. Their heads whipped around when he entered, a little rougher with the door than he meant to be. Even Sumo seemed surprise to see him.

“RK900? Why are you back so soon?” Connor perked up with concern.

RK900 marches straight towards the bathroom. He needed a place to be alone, just for a while. He wished he had his own room, but Hank’s house was small and the living room was occupied at the moment.

In the bathroom, he shoved the sleeve of his shirt up. He had to check. He just had to check.

His entire forearm was covered in ink. Gavin scribbled over the entire thing.

The sight of it made his thirium pump work a little faster. He quickly sent Gavin a text.

_Please tell me you got home safe.  
-RK_

RK900 waited with bated breath, his LED spinning red in the mirror. He heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. “RK? Everything okay?” Hank’s voice was muffled on the other side of the wall. RK900 ignored him.

A minute and thirty-two second passed.

_Im fine  
-GR_

That was a relief.

Almost.

RK900’s mind was still a storm of emotion.

_I’m sorry Gavin. Can you please tell me what went wrong? I thought we were friends. Is it because I’m an android?  
-RK_

_Please, I want to make things right.  
-RK_

_Please don’t hurt yourself.  
-RK_

_I’m sorry.  
-RK_

Eventually RK900 forced himself to give up. Gavin was not responding to his messages and he didn’t want to bother him further.

Everything hurt.

RK900 also eventually surrendered the bathroom in favor of taking up residence in the garage. He didn’t want to disturb Hank and Connor watching their TV show.

After about an hour, Hank knocked on that door too.

“RK?” said Hank as he slowly opened the garage entrance door. “You… wanna talk about it?”

RK900 was simply standing off to the side, LED whirring red in the dim light of the room. It was just him, his bike, a work bench, and a few boxes. And now, Hank.

“Was it Gavin?” Hank asked carefully.

RK900’s attention snapped to him. He lifted his palm. “ _[How did you know?]”_

“Had a feelin’, wasn’t sure though,” Hank walked closer. “C’mon, let’s go to the couch. It’s dingy in here.”

RK900 hesitated. Hank laid a reassuring hand between his shoulder blades and gently guided him back inside. Connor was patting the spot beside him on the couch.

“So? You need me to kick some butt?” Hank said as the three of them settled down.

RK900 made a small huff. Hank and Gavin are friends, he wouldn’t just turn his back on him like that.

Or, what does RK900 know? Anything is possible now.

RK900 stared down at the floor. Sumo lumbered over and laid his big head in his lap. It was like he could tell he was feeling bad and came to comfort him, even though he isn’t a human. Can dogs tell the difference? RK900 gently pet him, scratching behind his ears. Sumo let out a heavy sigh in return.

Hank and Connor seemed to be patiently waiting for him to explain what happened tonight. The problem was, he didn’t really want to talk about it.

_“[He just needs some time to adjust, is all,]”_ RK900 lifted his palm to show. “ _[I’m sure he’ll come around. For now, I’d just like to be left alone. Thank you.]”_

He just needed to talk to him. He just needed to apologize, and gain his trust again.

Connor and Hank exchanged a brief look, and then turned back to him. “Okay,” Hank breathed out. “Well, you just come to us if you want to talk, okay?”

RK900 nodded. Of course. Of course he’d talk if he needed. Right now, everything was still in a haze, and he just needed to… get over it. Yeah, it was heartbreaking being rejected, but it won’t be for forever, right? They’re soulmates. They can get over this.

He’d see Gavin again Monday for work. That will give the man a good day to gather his feelings, and maybe he’d be open to talking when they see each other again.

It’s a simple enough plan. He could hold himself together by then. He could swallow the pain that felt like it was infecting every inch of his body, making him want to crumple onto the ground and scream.

He could do this without falling apart.

* * *

Saturday: 10:40 PM

_Tell us how it went gav!!  
-TC_

_Yeah the anticipation is killing me  
-CM_

Sunday: 1:24 AM

_U there? Ur not replying bc ur out with ur soulmate all night right?  
-TC_

Sunday: 3:37 PM

_Earth to gavin?  
-CM_

_Helloooooo???  
-TC_

Monday: 10:14 AM

_Yo u out sick today? Cmon tell us ur not murdered at least  
-TC_

Gavin stared helplessly down at his phone. He really ought to just fucking say something. His friends were starting to get worried. His only fucking friends. It was Monday, and here he was sitting at home, like the fucking coward he was.

He knew that going in to work meant facing Nines, and he couldn’t do that. Not yet.

He’s not even sure what possessed him to say what he did to him on Saturday. His mouth moved faster than his brain, and he just blurted out the first things that came to mind to scare him away. He doesn’t hate Nines. Just, why did it have to be him? Why couldn’t it be anyone else?

Gavin was going to be the best soulmate, and he already fucked it up. He ruined their first impressions, and he ruined their first date.

Maybe everyone who ever thought he was just going to be selfish, abusive, unloving dick to his life partner was right all along. Maybe it was just in his nature to be a complete tool. He wanted to prove everyone wrong, but he did the opposite.

He always imagined his first impressions with his soulmate going so much better than that. He always imagined talking for a little while on the phone, getting to know their name and a little about where they were from. Then they’d go on a date and he’d see their face for the first time- and it doesn’t fucking matter what they looked like, they were going to be _beautiful_. Man, woman, non-binary, tall, short, skinny, fat, hairy, wrinkly, scarred, freckled - Gavin’s breath was going to be taken away the first moment he looked into his soulmate’s eyes.

He knew that he was going to be no match for them. The most difficult part was going to be simply being _in the presence_ of the person he was finally going to unleash all the love he had stored for, and trying not to babble or cry like an idiot.

And here he was. He was given one chance to be kind to a stranger for the first time in years, someone he never met before in his fucking life, and what did he do? He cursed at him, insulted him, ignored him, _threw him into a fucking wall_ \- and that stranger ended up being his fucking _soulmate._

How do you come back from that? How do you enter a date knowing that’s how you treated them? How could he just ignore that and pretend it never happened?

Gavin was right about one thing, though- he was no match for them.

_I see typing. Thank god.  
-CM_

_Sorry guys. I fucked it up  
-GR_

_What do u mean? How could u have fucked it up?  
-CM_

_it was nines. I fucked up. I cant face him  
-GR_

_Nines?? RK900???????  
-TC_

_Yea  
-GR_

_Well hes here? asking if we’ve seen you so??? what do we say???  
-TC_

_Tell him im fine and ill try to be in tomorrow ok  
-GR_

_I don’t understand how it could have gone so bad like? What happened??  
-CM_

_i dont wanna talk about it. Just know its my fault and not Nines ok? he did nothing wrong. he deserves better tbh  
-GR_

_cmon thats not true  
-TC_

Gavin left the last message on “seen.” He didn’t want to elaborate, and he didn’t want to continue talking about this. He just wanted to fucking sit here and wallow in self-pity.

Well, now that he said it, he had to try to make an effort to come in to work tomorrow. He couldn’t avoid Nines forever. 

But for now? He had the perfect plan for the day.

Fucking _drink._

* * *

Gavin somehow managed to make it to the precinct today, after a long, tired debate with himself. He took a taxi, his head was pounding too hard from a severe hangover and he didn’t trust himself to get behind the wheel.

Maybe this was a mistake, as he already felt woozy. But how long could he sit at home and grovel by himself? He was out of paid sick days too, and rent doesn’t pay itself, so here he is. Also, this wasn’t worth throwing his job down the toilet. It was the only thing he had that gave him some sense of purpose, so if he didn’t want to be fired, he had to kick his ass back into gear fast. Jeffrey was forgiving, but only for so long.

A part of him was praying that Nines wasn’t going to be in today, but unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky. He walked briskly past Nines’ bike in the parking lot, aggressively trying to pretend he didn’t see it.

God, how was he fucking going to do this…

He buzzed himself in like he does every day, and headed to his desk. Like every day.

He tried to be as casual as possible.

Nines was already at his desk, working diligently.

Fuck, he felt like he was going to be sick.

“ _Gavin! Good morning,”_ Nines looked up and greeted him. They looked at each other for a long, painfully awkward moment.

Gavin glanced around. Nines had placed a cup of coffee at his desk again. Gavin just… froze. It felt like all the blood had drained from his body in an instant.

“I can’t fuckin’ do this,” he choked, dropping his shit off on his chair and turning heel. He hadn’t been here for longer than five minutes and he already needed to take a breather on the roof.

“ _Gavin, wait, please,”_ Nines gestured before he was out of Gavin’s view. Gavin was already back into the hallway, nearly tripping over his own feet trying to get to the staircase.

He made his way to the roof and held on to the railing. He felt fucking ridiculous. He couldn’t be around Nines for more than ten seconds without having an anxiety attack? He breathed in and out heavily, trying to catch his breath. This reminded him of when he and Hank were out here, over a month ago, over some similar freakout.

He really should have seen this coming, but of course, he heard the roof entrance door creak open.

* * *

RK900 was simultaneously hoping to see Gavin today and not expecting to see him at all. He was starting to give up hope, when suddenly he saw him approach their desks.

His thirium pump doubled in speed and he suddenly felt indescribably nervous. What should he do? He wants to talk to him. Maybe it would be best that they just sit and work?

Gavin seemed to make the decision for them as he turned heel and headed towards the roof.

_No._

_Not again._

_I can’t let him run away again._

RK900 got up shortly after and followed him up to the roof. He gave him enough space this weekend and yesterday, RK900 just wanted to _talk._

Gavin didn’t react to him when he first stepped outside. He was leaning against the rail, holding on to it, deliberately ignoring him.

There was a growing frustration building in RK900. He couldn’t talk to get his attention; he could only wait. Gavin knew damn well he was up here with him, RK900 didn’t need to tap his shoulder, and he was afraid that touching him would make the situation worse.

So… he waited.

After a few agonizing minutes, Gavin finally turned around.

“What the fuck do you want,” he said weakly. No bite. He looked severely hungover.

“ _I just want to talk,”_ RK900 signed when Gavin’s eyes finally lifted to him. “ _I- If there’s something I need to apologize for, then I want to apologize.”_

Gavin regarded his gestures for a long, drawn out moment. “There’s nothin’ to fuckin’ apologize for, ‘cept maybe waiting so long to write back.”

RK900 visibly winced at that. “ _To write back?”_ he parroted.

Gavin just… stood there.

RK900 had been beating himself up all weekend long, spending every waking minute analyzing their every interaction since they met, looking for the reasons why Gavin is acting like this so he could prepare an apology. And this is what Gavin says?

The agony that was strangling him since their date bubbled back stronger than it has been, morphing and shifting into something new. RK900’s LED flashed bright red. His fingers slightly trembled as his stress levels rose sharply- his body began shutting down non-essential services and his fine motor functions began to glitch.

He felt like he was running hot and cold at the same time and several error messages clouded the corner of his vision.

He was infuriated.

He rose his hands slowly. “ _To write back? Do you know…. Do you have any idea how difficult this has been for me?”_ he began signing. His eyes blinked rapidly as he felt a kind of anger he never felt before. It was different from the anger he felt against the SWAT team. It was a mixture of rage and sadness and frustration. It was because he _knew_ they could work through this, if Gavin would just open up and _talk_ to him…

Gavin even shifted uncomfortably where he stood.

“ _Do you have… any **fucking** idea how confusing and terrifying this has all been for me? I was **born** with a soulmate. I had a soulmate before anything. Before getting a name, before learning about the world- which I was born into fully deviated, by the way,” _RK900’s hands moved erratically, fast and staccato, fighting against his failing processes. “ _Do you know how overwhelming all of that is?”_

“Nines,” Gavin breathed, his voice breaking a bit.

RK900 felt dizzy. His central processing was working overtime to keep him steady. He didn’t just feel anger, he felt upset, he felt hurt, he felt betrayed- He didn’t want to apologize… he wanted an _apology_.

“ _I waited so long because I was trying to figure out how to exist in society. I wasn’t ready for the pressure of taking care of a soulmate on top of it,”_ RK900’s face felt wet. Something was dripping down his cheeks. He glanced up at the sky- it wasn’t raining, he was crying. He never cried before. He always expected the first time he’d cry to be over something sad, but instead, all he felt was white-hot, dizzying frustration.

“ ** _You_** _are the one that made me feel comfortable. **You** made me feel like I was ready to reach out. And during my most vulnerable moment, revealing myself for the first time to my soulmate, you… you left me. And you haven’t even graced me with the reason why. Aren’t we friends? Don’t I deserve some answers based on that, at least?” _RK900 signed, vision impaired by the heavy tears flowing from his eyes.

He finished saying his peace and rubbed his eyes. The loss of vision made him stumble, and his failing processes impacted his ability to stay upright. He fell forward, his knees hitting the concrete hard. He stayed like that, sobbing on the ground. Why did this have to hurt so much?

He rubbed the tears out of his eyes- or at least, enough so that he could see Gavin more clearly. He slowly raised his head again so he could see his face. Gavin was staring down at him.

He was crying too.

“It- it’s ‘cause you fucking deserve better,” Gavin cried, joining him on the ground so they would see eye-to-eye. “I fucking… panicked. I didn’t mean anything I said, I just- I freaked out and needed to escape and I don’t know what came over me.”

“ _Why panic? We’ve been getting along great. Am I wrong?”_ RK900 was able to calm down just enough to pull himself together so he could communicate again.

“I mean- yes! We have. You’re my fucking friend, Nines,” a small laugh bubbled out of Gavin in between choking sobs. “But when we first met, I… was nothing but utter _shit_ to you. Don’t you remember? I fought you, I called you awful things, I put my hands on you. I put my hands on my _soulmate._ I didn’t even know you, but I was already abusive, _fuck,”_ Gavin choked out the last statement, his eyes cast down onto the concrete.

RK900 searched his memories. Really? This is what Gavin was so worked up about? Maybe he could see how from his perspective he thought he was being terrible, but RK900 has experienced much, much worse.

RK900 leaned forward to gently prod Gavin’s arm to get him to look back up at him. “ _You didn’t like me, you were hardly abusive towards me.”_

“I called you ‘broken,’” Gavin argued, “and pushed you into a wall.”

“ _You only called me that once. You stopped the moment I told asked you not to,”_ RK900 pointed out. “ _And I honestly didn’t care. I’m sorry you had that hanging over you for so long. Would you like to try apologizing?”_

Gavin stared at him for a second, taking a moment to understand what he was saying. “I’m… I’m sorry, Nines.”

“ _I forgive you. See?”_ RK900 softened a little.

“I was so fucking excited to have a soulmate and prove I’m… I’m capable of love, but I already… I already hurt them. I already fucked it all up,” Gavin was retreating again.

“ _You did not fuck it all up. You didn’t hurt me. I forgave you, and we became good friends,”_ RK900 gestured smoothly. His stress levels were lowered enough that his central processing stopped considering this an energy-conserving situation, gradually re-allocated power to his motor functions. “ _I think it’s time you forgave yourself, too.”_

Gavin shifted a little where he sat and wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket. They both sat there silently, gentle tears flowing down their cheeks.

“God, look at us,” Gavin said with a weak little laugh.

RK900 gave a small smile to that.

“ _I think we will be fine,”_ RK900 signed after a good minute. “ _The Universe set us up, after all. Think about it, there must have been a more cosmic reason you decided to learn ASL, and that I wanted to join the DPD. It was all leading up to this.”_

Gavin shrugged, humble again.

“ _Connor and Hank told me that being soulmates doesn’t mean we won’t have problems, being soulmates means we’ll be able to work through our problems together,”_ RK900 gestured. _“Will you work through this with me?”_

RK900 looked into Gavin’s eyes, and Gavin looked back in his. They looked brighter. Hopeful.

“Yeah,” Gavin managed, his voice cracking a bit. “Yeah, I’ll work through this with you.”

Rk900’s smile grew. “ _We ought to be going back to our desks before Jeffrey says something,”_ he signed with a small sigh. He slowly stood and brushed the dirt off of his pants. Gavin followed suit, standing with only a small waver.

Gavin sniffled one last time. “Can we start over? Just, like, parts of it?”

RK900’s head cocked to the side.

“Like, umm… Hello, my name is Gavin. Do you wanna go on a date with me sometime?” Gavin asked, a small blush spreading across his now tear-free cheeks.

RK900 blinked at him. “ _Hello,”_ he signed simply. A small pause. “ _My name is Nines. I’d love to go on a date with you. Can I pick you up at your place… Friday, at 8?”_

RK-

Nines.

Nines heard Gavin’s small intake of breath. “Y-yeah. I’d love that.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, this is the last chapter! Thank you so much for all the support <3  
> Subscribe to the series for one more little epilogue coming in a few days!

The week went by at a pretty normal pace, all things considered. Gavin and Nines were able to work diligently and professionally. They agreed to take things easy before their date, and focus more on their assignments. That isn’t to say they didn’t bond at all- they spent a few lunches together chatting about light topics like programs they caught on TV the other day or something funny another coworker did, just trying to build their friendship up to where it was before.

It was a little uncomfortable at first. Gavin still felt incredibly guilty for how he behaved, but Nines had the patience of a saint. Gradually, day by day, conversation by conversation, he opened up to him once more. Come Friday, Gavin was able to laugh and smile around Nines again.

Nines is actually a pretty funny guy. He can be incredibly sarcastic, and his humor is as dry as a desert. He says jokes so stoically it takes a moment for them to hit, but it only makes them that much funnier.

Sometimes, randomly throughout the week, Gavin would remember that Nines is his soulmate, and it hits him right in the gut. He can’t quite describe the feeling- it’s like a mixture of nervousness, fear, excitement, and happiness all wrapped up in one fucked up package.

It took a few days of their recovering friendship, but eventually they started writing to each other again.

Nines was clearly waiting for Gavin to make some first moves, not wanting to overwhelm him, so Thursday night, Gavin drew him a little smiley face saying “ _Hi.”_

Nines drew his own little smiley face back with a “ _Hello.”_

That was it, but looking at their little smiley drawings saying hello to each other on his arm before going to sleep helped quell some of his nerves for the next day.

Aside from one quick conversation where Nines made sure Gavin was still on for their date tonight, the day progressed like any other. Gavin worked quietly, but he’s sure Nines picked up on how often he toyed around with his Rubik’s Cube. He was nervous, okay? He had no reason to be nervous, he knew Nines, they sat next to each other and talked every day, but knowing that tonight will be their first real romantic date…

It gave him butterflies.

When was the last time he had butterflies?

Maybe when he first started going out with Ronny… For better or for worse, all of those memories are just tainted with pain and anger.

It was going to be different this time.

_“You’re not gonna leave me, right?”_

_Ronny was at it again. He drinks, and he starts getting paranoid. It’s always up to Gavin to comfort him and reassure him that he’s not going anywhere._

_“’Course not, Ron,” Gavin sighed, curling up to Ronny on the couch._

_“Good,” Ronny said, taking another swig of his beer. Gavin wished he’d just put the fucking bottle down. Every time he drinks, he starts saying whatever is on his mind, and it always ends in some argument. “You know you can’t leave me, right?”_

_Gavin blinked up at him. He didn’t want to humor his drunken questions, but if he didn’t answer, he’d just feel like he was getting ignored and get angry. Ronny is just awful when he’s angry. “I know, Ron.”_

_“You know no one’s gonna treat you like I do, right? I fuckin’ give you everything you want, and we’re not even soulmates,” Ronny rambled. “We’re fuckin’ perfect!”_

_He’s right… he does give Gavin everything he wants. When he wants to be held, he holds him. When he wants to be kissed, he kisses him. When he wants Ronny to take care of dinner that night, he cooks it._

_Unfortunately, usually that follows with Ronny asking something along the lines of ‘What am I gonna get in return?’_

_It was cute at first. He’d ask with that coy little smile of his, and Gavin would promise to do something special for him. That’s what you do in a relationship, right? You give and take. You’re not waited on hand and foot like a king, you have to put in a little effort and do things for your partner as well._

_Sometimes though, Gavin felt like it was a little… transactional. Ronny doesn’t do things for him without being asked first, and it’s always in exchange for something. Meanwhile Gavin felt like he was always doing things for Ronny and never expected_ _something in return… he just did things because it was the kind, loving thing to do._

_But maybe he was just being ungrateful. So what if he has to promise to do something in return? Ronny always ended up giving him what he wanted in the end, so he should just suck it up and be happy about it. It’s not like he has to do a lot, anyway. Usually he just wants him to do the laundry, or cook him dinner, or give him sex. Nothing too hard to handle._

_It was a small price to pay for love._

_Gavin leaned over the bathroom sink, watching the blood wash down the drain. His blood. He tried dabbing at the wound with a damp towel, hissing at the sting. It didn’t seem like his nose was broken, which was good. This cut probably needed stitches, but he didn’t want to go to a hospital. He didn’t want to pay for this, or even worse- have to explain himself._

_“Gav, baby, I’m so sorry.” Gavin jumped at the sudden voice behind him. Ronny joined him in the bathroom. “I had too much to drink tonight, fuck, I’m so sorry. It’ll never happen again, baby, please forgive me?”_

_Ronny laid his hands on Gavin’s shoulders, and Gavin tried not to tense when he felt his touch. He tossed and turned Ronny’s apology in his mind. Sure, they argued sometimes, but he always apologized after and made it up to him. This was the first time he got this physical._

_It was probably a freak accident. A one-time occurrence. Ronny seemed desperate for him to accept his apology, so he must be feeling a lot of remorse for it._

_Gavin decided to give him one more chance. If it happens again, then he’ll leave. Simple._

_“I forgive you,” Gavin sighed, mending the gash in his face back together with some medical tape. It will probably scar, but it’ll have to do._

_He felt Ronny kiss the back of his neck. “I love you, you know that right?” he said. Up close like this, Gavin could really smell the alcohol on his breath._

_“I know.”_

_Ronny came home too early. Usually Gavin washed away the marks he put on his arm before he got home, but his luck ran out. He was walking around the apartment in a t-shirt, arms bare, and the writing was clear as day when Ronny walked in the door._

_“What, you thinking of leaving me?” Ronny roared, twisting Gavin’s arm painfully where he gripped it._

_“No, Ron, c’mon,” Gavin tried wriggling away, fear seeping into his voice as he tried to remain calm._

_“What the fuck else could this be for? You’re still looking for a fucking soulmate. Am I not good enough for you?” Ronny’s hand had an iron grip on his arm and Gavin had to stop fighting it, or risk serious injury._

_“No, of course not! You’re perfect, Ron. C’mon, let go, you’re hurting me,” Gavin whined, more scared for his arm the longer Ronny held onto it._

_Ronny let up, releasing his arm. There was a large red mark where his hand was that would surely bruise by tomorrow._

_“You’re soulless, don’t fucking forget that! No one’s_ ever _gonna love you! Get it through your fucking head!” Ronny yelled. Gavin fought against the prickling feeling in his eyes. “I’m all you’ve got! I’m practically doing you a favor.”_

_“Don’t_ you _love me?” Gavin snapped back; he didn’t miss Ronny’s choice of phrasing._

_Ronny softened. “I love you, baby. I didn’t mean it like that. Just us soulless people gotta stick together, you know? No one else is gonna love you like I do, you know?”_

_Gavin stood there, shifting his weight between his feet. He had backed up against the wall and had a hard time meeting Ronny’s gaze. His hand gingerly rubbed the sore spot on his other arm._

_“Baby, c’mere,” Ronny stepped forward, his voice sweet. “Let’s clean that up, and I’ll make you dinner, okay?” Ronny gestured towards his arm, towards the mark that Gavin made on himself._

_“Okay,” Gavin mumbled, looking down at the writing and tracing his thumb over it. He braced himself as Ronny drew closer and eventually wrapped his arms around him. He leaned into the hug and desperately tried to will his body to stop shaking._

_Gavin’s vision was blurry from his puffed-up eye. It badly needed some ice, but he had bigger problems. He was halfway through grabbing as much of his shit from his dresser drawer when Ronny came barging into the room._

_“What, you just gonna run away? You just gonna run when we have one little argument?” Ronny yelled after him. He wasn’t drunk, but he had been drinking._

_Gavin doesn’t even remember what they were fighting about this time, but it ended with one quickly blackening eye._

_It’s over. He’s not going to stand for this any longer. He didn’t deserve much, but he deserved better than this. He had nowhere to go, but he’d hunker down at a hotel for a while if he had to. Anything to get away from this dangerous douchebag he called a boyfriend for two years._

_“It’s not one little argument! You hurt me- You hurt me far too many fucking times,” Gavin shouted back._

_“I always make it up to you, don’t I? I cook you dinner, I blow you, I do whatever the fuck you want to make you happy,” Ronny argued._

_“A soulmate wouldn’t do nice things for me only after_ _hitting me! You’re supposed to do nice things ‘cause you fucking love me, not ‘cause you feel bad,” Gavin was seeing red. Both from rage and from his swollen face._

_“Well I’m not your fucking soulmate! Do I gotta remind you that you don’t have one?” Ronny continued, relentless. He stumbled a little on his feet. “I’m the closest you’re fucking gonna get to feeling love! You’re gonna regret this! You’re gonna leave and you’re gonna miss everything I did for you, and I’m not gonna be there if you come crawling back, you know.”_

_“If_ this,” _Gavin gestured between the two of them, “was love, then you’re insane. You never loved me. You took my love and took advantage of me. Of my desperation. I can’t believe I fucking fell for this for so long.”_

_“Gav, please,” Ronny calmed down a bit. His voice dropped, low and sweet. “I’m sorry. Let me get ice for your face. Let’s talk about this.”_

_No._

_It wasn’t going to work this time._

_“You’re gonna regret this,” was the last thing Gavin heard when he walked out the front door._

Gavin stared at himself in the mirror in his bathroom and let out one long shuddered sigh. He hoped Nines wouldn’t mind that he was wearing the same thing as last week. Naturally, he didn’t learn his lesson from last time and didn’t go out shopping for a new date outfit, so he made due with what he had… again.

Nines graciously agreed that they go home separately so they could gussy up before they go out, as per their plans.

“You got this. You got this,” he muttered, pointing at his reflection. Munchkin and Timbit stared up at him from the bathroom counter. God, they were nosey.

He heard a knock on the door and his heart stopped. He glanced at the time on his phone. 8:00, just like Nines promised. “Oh God, I don’t got this.”

He gave his shirt one last pat-down to smooth out creases before answering the door.

There he was.

Nines signed “ _Hello, Gavin,”_ from his door frame. He was wearing the leather jacket he bought the other week.

God… was this a good time to finally admit how hot Nines was?

He knew it from the beginning, but he was too blinded by his hatred and frustration to come to terms with it. Nines was attractive as fuck. He’s tall and has gorgeous eyes and hair. Yeah, he looks just like Connor, but Connor has such a different personality and Nines was just so mysterious and alluring…

As they became closer friends it became more and more obvious to him that he was incredibly easy on the eyes. And when they went clothes shopping? Gavin had already known he had a soulmate at that point, so to be respectful towards his future partner, he averted his gaze and tried to keep his thoughts tame, but Nines cleaned up extremely well.

It’s all so clear now.

See?

He always knew his soulmate would be beautiful.

“Hey,” Gavin greeted back dumbly, after a long second admiring the android.

Nines’ tongue peeked out for a brief moment, licking his lips as he curiously peered inside Gavin’s apartment. “ _Before we go…”_ he started signing, and then hesitated.

“Uh, yeah?” Gavin blinked up at him. Was something wrong? Oh god, something was wrong. Nines was having doubts and needed a moment-

“ _May I meet your cats?”_

Gavin stared at Nines for a long second before registering what he asked. “Oh, what? Yeah, come on in,” he said, a little nervous laugh escaping him.

“ _I know you said you have cats. I never met a cat before…”_ Nines seemed a little excited, if Gavin had to take a guess. His gestures were quick and clipped.

“Was this all just an elaborate ploy to meet my cats?” Gavin joked as he corralled the animals into the living room.

“ _Yes,”_ Nines cautiously reached out a hand to Munchkin for him to sniff. Another one of his dry jokes.

“So uh… your ‘roommate’s dog’ that you mentioned before…” Gavin scratched the back of his neck as he stood off to the side, watching with amusement as Nines crouched down to the floor and tried to get the cats to approach him. “Sumo?”

Nines nodded. Timbit took an interest to him pretty quickly, climbing up onto his knee. His LED spun yellow for a moment before returning to blue.

“They’re not gonna bite, you can pet them,” Gavin said, crouching down next to Nines, plucking Munchkin off the floor to hold in his arms.

Nines mustered up some bravery and gently pet Timbit’s head, and the cat eagerly rubbed his face against his hand. That made Nines smile- possibly the widest smile Gavin saw on him yet.

God, Gavin, don’t fucking cry…

“ _When did you get them?”_ Nines signed curiously.

“Hm… about a year ago? Adopted them when I moved here. I wanted some company,” Gavin said, recalling the memory. It was shortly after he left Ronny. As soon as he got settled in to his new apartment, he went to the shelter and asked what cats have been there the longest. Munchkin and Timbit were older and it was requested that they be adopted as a pair, so most people skipped over them.

The cats loved him more than his ex ever did.

Munchkin eventually escaped his arms and bounded off, which startled Timbit out of Nines’ lap. It was a shame, watching the two of them cuddle was incredibly endearing.

Nines took that as an opportunity to stand, and Gavin followed suit. “ _Let’s get going,”_ Nines signed.

The butterflies appeared again in Gavin’s stomach. “Yeah… yeah, let’s go,” he agreed with a sheepish smile.

Nines led the way out of the apartment and Gavin locked the door behind them. When he turned around and walked down the front steps he realized with horror-

Nines’ arrived on his motorcycle. Jacket and all.

He didn’t intend to take Gavin’s car, did he…

“Are we, um…” Gavin asked with a shaky little laugh. As if to answer his question, Nines handed him a spare helmet.

Oh, God.

“ _Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle before, Gavin?”_ Nines asked, strapping his own helmet on. He kept the visor up while they talked.

“U-um,” Gavin stuttered. His heart was racing and he’s sure the color drained from his face.

Nines studied his face for a moment, looking thoughtful. “ _If you don’t want to do this, we can use something else,”_ he signed.

“No! No, it’s fine, c’mon, I’m not a wuss,” Gavin lied, shoving the helmet onto his head and strapping it up.

Nines was leaned over his motorcycle, fishing something out of the little trunk on the back of the bike. He turned back around, a second jacket in hand.

Gavin’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest as Nines maneuvered behind him him, holding the jacket out for Gavin to slip his arms through. It certainly made the color rush back to his face, as he could feel it burning with a blush now.

The jacket hung loose on him. Nines was bigger than him, it was probably whatever he was using before he got his new jacket. His fingers toyed with the edges of the sleeves, feeling the material under them. He was wearing his soulmate’s clothes…

Gavin shook his head from the clouds and saw Nines already sitting on the bike, waiting for him. “ _Hold on tight,”_ he signed before patting the space behind him on the seat.

God, he was really making him do this…

Well, actually, he wasn’t _making_ him do anything. Nines was very considerate by offering something else when he noticed he was nervous. He was caring like that.

Like a soulmate.

Gavin took a deep breath. He trusted him. He was a highly advanced android, meaning he would probably have the most control over a bike than any regular human, right? He should be safe.

He carefully sat behind Nines, a little awkward. Sitting like this felt so intimate already. Was he making this weird? Maybe he was making this weird…

Nines suddenly reached behind him and grabbed hold of Gavin’s hands. Gavin was taken aback at first, and quickly realized he was showing him how to hold onto him. He wrapped Gavin’s hands tight around his middle so they were flush together, Nines’ back against Gavin’s front.

He wondered if Nines could feel his heart racing against him like this.

Before he could second guess this, Nines revved up the engine and took off. He was careful to ride slow at first, but quickly sped up.

“Oh God oh God oh God,” Gavin chattered to himself as he pressed against Nines for dear life. The wind whipped around them and the motors roared, but the ride was smooth.

Nines was taking some back roads and avoiding busy streets, he didn’t know if it was for Gavin’s comfort or for more freedom to ride. Either way, Gavin held on to Nines so tight that he’s sure it would have hurt if he were a human.

After what might have been some of the most thrilling and terrifying twenty minutes of his life, they finally arrived at their destination. Nines slowed down and gingerly parked the motorcycle in the appropriate spot next to the sidewalk of their restaurant and killed the engine.

Gavin didn’t realize he was still squeezing the shit out of Nines until he tapped his arms. “Uh, sorry,” he said, immediately releasing his grip and jumping back.

The two of them offloaded and removed their helmets. Gavin’s hands shook as he unlatched his own.

“ _If that was too bad, we can take a taxi back,”_ Nines signed, eyes looking him over with some concern.

“Pshh, I was fuckin’ fine!” Gavin defended as he tried fixing his hair to no avail. After spending so much time trying to style it, too…

Nines smirked at him, taking Gavin’s helmet and locking it into place on his bike. Gavin shrugged out of Nines’ jacket and handed that back to him as well. Nines undid his own and placed both garments back in his little trunk. Underneath the jacket, he was wearing a navy-blue button down.

God… he was handsome. Even with his hair and his shirt ruffled like this, he was gorgeous.

Gavin took a look around. This was a different restaurant, but had similar outdoor seating. It was very romantic, located right on the river. Diners could look out and enjoy the city’s lights dancing across the water’s surface as they ate. For someone that doesn’t eat, Nines really has an eye for nice restaurants.

As adrenaline from the ride here died down, the butterflies made a swift return to Gavin’s stomach.

He flinched just a little when he felt a small prod at his shoulder and turned around. Nines shared an apologetic look before giving him a gentle smile. “ _Are you ready?”_ he signed.

Gavin took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Nines guided the two of them to the entrance where a waiter led them to their table. They sat in a nice, cool corner that wasn’t too loud from the surrounding restaurant chatter. Not that it really mattered- all Gavin had to do was read Nines’ hands, and Nines probably had super hearing or something, but it was still nice.

It was relaxing. Gavin usually enjoys loud bars and party scenes, but when his nerves are so high like they are now, he appreciates having fewer outer stimuli. It could get overwhelming sometimes, and now was one of those times when he desperately doesn’t want to be overwhelmed.

The waiter disappeared for a moment and returned with a small basket of bread, which Gavin eyed hungrily.

“Oh shit, thanks!” He said without thinking and dove in to the basket, earning a strong eyebrow raise from the waiter. “Er, sorry,” he added, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. He should probably _try_ to act a little classier here- it was a slightly more formal place than the casual summer bar they went to last week.

The waiter handed them their menus and said his usual waiter-related peace, asking what they would like to drink and eat and whatnot. Gavin ordered some fancy chicken dish and Nines was just happy with his glass of water. As soon as the waiter walked off, the bread was in Gavin’s mouth.

He chewed with a happy moan. “It’s still warm, fuck yes,” he said with a mouth still full.

And then he froze.

Right.

This is… a date.

Gavin looked up sheepishly, his ears burning, and saw Nines staring back at him with a smile.

He swallowed his bread and sat up ramrod straight. God, why was he acting like such an animal at this nice restaurant in front of his date, his soulmate?

_“I take it you’re a little nervous,”_ Nines signed.

Called out.

“U-um,” Gavin stammered, ripping smaller bits of bread with his fingers and popping them in his mouth. Yeah, he was a little nervous. A _lot_ nervous. And he was doing stupid, rookie date things because of it.

“ _That’s okay,”_ Nines gestured. “ _I’m nervous too.”_

Gavin blinked at him. He didn’t _look_ nervous, but if he learned anything in the last month or so, is that looks can be deceiving. “I guess we can be nervous together,” he said, flashing a little smile himself.

“ _But, I am also very happy,”_ Nines continued, his little smile growing. “ _I’m so glad you agreed to do this with me.”_

Gavin shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling very bashful. “I’m happy too.”

“ _Will you please tell me about yourself?”_ Nines asked, leaning in just a touch. “ _I want to know more about you. About my soulmate.”_

Gavin lightly chewed on his bottom lip. He wasn’t used to opening up, but now… now was the time. He trusted Nines as his friend, and now he needed to trust him as his soulmate. “What do you wanna know?” he asked, taking a long sip of his water.

“ _Everything,”_ Nines signed with a more playful smile. “ _How about we begin with your family? What are they like?”_

Gavin took a deep breath. Nines was starting off strong, huh? Yet somehow, he wasn’t as nervous as he was before. Yeah, Nines was his soulmate, but he’s _Nines._ He knows Nines. He’s comfortable with Nines.

“I um, don’t really have a relationship with them, to be honest,” Gavin started, swallowing hard. It was hard to open up… But he can do this. “My mother was soulless, but died from drug complications when I was a teen.”

“ _I’m sorry,”_ Nines signed, listening closely.

“S’fine… I um… My father was kinda absent throughout my childhood, but he let me move in with him and his other family after her death.” Gavin shrugged. “He was cheating on my mother before I was born, but his other kid was from his soulmate. He dropped my mom when he found out. It’s some soap-opera shit. So, I guess I have a step mother and a step brother, but I never really felt like they were my family. I changed my last name as soon as I was able to separate myself from them.”

Nines cocked his head at that. “ _You have no relationship with your step brother, at least?”_

“Nah,” Gavin said simply. He has Elijah’s contact information, but they never really talked. “He’s… just too different. Unrelatable. My father loved him more, ‘cause he’s his soulmate’s kid. He’s also really smart. He graduated college and founded his own company before I graduated High School, and he’s only a few months older than me.”

He could see Nines’ LED whirring and his eyes widening for just a fraction of a second. He must have figured it out, right? Gavin hated talking about his step brother. Everyone was always way more interested in him, which is also part of why he had to change his name. He squirmed in his chair, suddenly afraid that this whole date was going to turn into a Q&A about Elijah Kamski- you heard it here, folks! Straight from the mouth of his half-brother.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really wanna talk about him,” Gavin choked out, trying to stop it before it started. He picked at his fingers for a second, confident now that he just flubbed this whole conversation by revealing too much. He didn’t want Nines to be thinking about Elijah. He didn’t want to be compared to Elijah. He was always going to be the younger, dumber, less successful of the two. Why the _fuck_ would anyone want to know more about him when they could learn more about Elijah-

“ _That’s fine, I don’t care about him. He’s not my soulmate,”_ Nines signed with a little smile. “ _You are.”_

Gavin let out a little shaky breath. Of course. He should stop putting words in Nines mouth and relax a little. This is his _soulmate_ he’s talking to, here. He’s going to be understanding and trustworthy.

“ _What about friends? Did you have anyone else to confide in as a child?”_ Nines carried along.

Gavin shook his head. “Nah. Didn’t really have any friends growing up. That was my own fault though, I was kind of a bully… Surprising, right?” Gavin tried joking, but a touch of pain slipped through anyway.

“ _It must have been lonely,”_ Nines signed softly.

Gavin shrugged.

_“Did you always want to be a detective?”_ Nines continued curiously.

“Yeah, ever since I was little,” Gavin recalled with a little smile. “It was my dream. Saved up for my education all by myself with barely any support from my family.”

“ _Then you succeeded, against the odds,”_ Nines returned his smile. “ _That’s very admirable.”_

“Yeah, whatever,” Gavin took another bite of the bread in front of him. “Um, what about you? Like… I know you started with SWAT, but was there anything before that?”

Nines shook his head. “ _I stayed at Jericho, learning about the world. You already know how I felt there.”_

Gavin nodded in understanding. “So why move in with Connor and Hank? Are you guys, like, brothers?”

“ _I do consider Connor something like a brother. We share a lot of the same code and he was always very friendly and caring towards me. He and Hank were there when I was activated, so I guess you could say that I’ve known him my whole life,”_ Nines signed with a playful little smirk. “ _Which isn’t saying much.”_

Gavin chuckled a little at that. “Um, you said you were born deviated. That means no one was using you, right?” he asked, unsure how to broach the subject appropriately.

“ _Correct. I was found in the Cyberlife tower in December. Jericho were the first ones to activate me,”_ Nines clarified.

“Well, that’s good,” Gavin said with a little relieved sigh. “So how come, uh…” he hesitated, biting his lip. Maybe this was too far.

Nines looked at him earnestly. “ _If you’re curious about something, please ask,”_ he urged.

Gavin took in a little breath. “How come you can’t talk, anyway? Um, you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to…”

Nines didn’t look too bothered by the question, thankfully. “ _An engineer sabotaged my code,”_ he signed, a little slowly. Thoughtfully. “ _He thought he was damaging me much further than he did.”_

Gavin didn’t expect that. “Sabotage? Why?”

“ _He thought I was a danger to society,”_ Nines gestured after a moment.

“Oh, somethin’ about them thinking you were a murder bot, right?” Gavin said. Nines nodded. “Well, they’re dumb.”

Nines smiled again.

Soon after, their waiter returned with their food- well, Gavin’s food. Nines had a little water bottle-looking container filled with blue blood which he decided to sip in lieu of eating. Gavin thoroughly enjoyed his fancy chicken thing.

They ate quietly. Gavin realized suddenly that he felt totally comfortable now. They both opened up about a few personal matters, and honestly? It felt good. It felt _right_. Gavin felt like he could tell Nines… everything. He wouldn’t bombard him with every single little detail about his life tonight, but he realized now that he didn’t feel afraid of letting him in.

He was finally sharing his heart.

It felt just as freeing as he always imagined it being.

After eating most of his meal, Gavin was up to talking a little bit more. He and Nines shared a few more details about their lives, mostly about little experiences and memories. At some point Gavin apologized for talking so much, but Nines reassured that he was happy to learn so much about him, and that it was okay because he didn’t have as much life experience to talk about.

Gavin was excited to learn about Nines too though, and encouraged him to tell him little dumb things, even if Nines thought they were negligible.

So what if he doesn’t have stories from a childhood? Childhoods are overrated anyway, according to Gavin. Nines has stories from Jericho, or stories about Connor and Hank, or stories about how he felt when he discovered something new in this crazy world of theirs. All of it was just as fascinating to Gavin.

Talking to Nines felt like no time was passing at all. Before they even knew it, it was getting late and they had to let the wait staff take care of cleaning their table.

Nines wanted to pay, but Gavin fought him for the bill. After all the grief he gave him in the last few weeks, it was the least he could do. Nines eventually caved, but covered the tip.

“ _Will you take a little walk with me?”_ Nines asked when they finally stepped outside. The air was actually a little chilly now that it was dark. Fall was quickly approaching. “ _I’m not ready to say goodbye.”_

The android looked a little bashful at that, blinking away nervously.

“Yeah, I’m down,” Gavin said, happy to spend a little more time with Nines.

His soulmate.

They diverted to the sidewalk along the river. The chatter from the restaurant got quieter as they walked further away, leaving them with the peaceful sounds of the water lapping at the concrete barrier and distant cars. The city lights were beautiful at night like this.

They were even more beautiful shining against Nines’ blue eyes.

They walked silently for a little while, just admiring the view and each other’s presence.

“I’m still sorry I was such an asshole when we first met,” Gavin said quietly. “If I had known… I promise if I had known, I would have never…”

“ _I already told you I forgive you,”_ Nines signed simply.

“I know. I know. I still feel bad though,” Gavin scratched the hair on the back of his neck.

“ _Please don’t,”_ Nines insisted. “ _I never thought ill of you, by the way.”_

Gavin shot him an incredulous glance.

“ _I’m serious. You were a little frustrating at times, but I admired you. After I earned your respect, I wanted your friendship. Maybe even more so than was appropriate for a professional relationship,”_ Nines continued.

Gavin let out a thoughtful hum. Looking back on everything now, that was definitely clear. He wished he picked up on it faster, but hey, better late than never, right?

He slowed to a stop at some point and stepped up to the railing that separated the edge of the sidewalk and the water, looking out over the river. Gavin idly watched the cars that were going over the bridge, just twinkling lights in the distance, barely visible from here.

“ _Can I tell you something crazy?”_ Nines signed, stepping up beside him. He stood close. Close enough that their arms brushed against each other, feather-light.

The butterflies fluttered in Gavin’s stomach yet again.

“Shoot,” Gavin said, turning so he was facing Nines.

They were so close.

“ _I think,”_ Nines hesitated. Studying his face, it almost looked…

It almost looked like he was blushing.

“ _I think I may have already started to fall for you,”_ Nines finished, his hands still lingering in the air after his last sign.

Gavin blinked up at him, his heart skipping a beat.

Shit, maybe he was starting to fall for him too.

“You know,” Gavin started with a little nervous laugh, “I feel like I prepared my whole life to have a soulmate… And now that I have one… Now that you’re here… I have no idea what to do.”

They were so close.

He was so close now, his gestures lightly brushed against the fabric of Gavin’s shirt. “ _I have one idea.”_

Gavin was barely reading Nines’ hands, just too lost in his eyes. He noticed him glance down at his lips, just for a fraction of a second. He swallowed hard and his heart beat against his chest, but he leaned forward, inviting.

Nines LED spun yellow and he leaned in as well. The two of them met in the middle, lips delicately pressing against each other. It wasn’t too intense of a kiss, but the gentle, tentativeness of it made Gavin’s heart melt.

They stayed like that for a long moment, eyes closed, kissing softly. Gavin even felt Nines’ fingers tenderly trace his jaw, while his own hand rose up to lay faintly on Nines’ chest.

Eventually they disconnected with wide smiles. The lights of the city were dim in comparison to the brightness of Nines’ eyes.

Yeah… Gavin could feel it in his gut.

Everything was going to work out.

Despite it all.


End file.
